beginnings new

YW Lesson 5, Manual 1 ("Finding Joy in Our Divine Potential")

2012-01-25T09:14:00.001-05:00

The topic of "our divine potential" is an interesting one: are we focusing on the future? the eternities? Are we focusing on the potential to be a certain way that is in us right now, and that will only grow through the eternities? Are we finding that within ourselves that is divine so we can allow that to grow? And why the word "divine"? Divine means of God, godly, from God, of heaven, etc. Are we talking about that which God has given us? Are we talking about our potential to be like God (Heavenly Father, and Heavenly Mother?) I like the latter the best, myself.

Here are a few resources I thought of while searching around on this topic. And I couldn't help myself and I ended up adding my own thoughts and questions along the way. (This sort of turned into my post on additional resources mixed with a post on my own thoughts.)

From Elder Ballard's Mothers and Daughters:

Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.

I understand that some of you young women do not have mothers with whom you can discuss these issues. And many of you women do not presently have daughters in your lives. But because all women have within their divine nature both the inherent talent and the stewardship to mother, most of what I will say applies equally to grandmothers, aunts, sisters, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, leaders, and other mentors who sometimes fill the gaps for these significant mother-daughter relationships.

From Sis. Becks' A Mother Heart:

As spirit daughters of God, women “received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth” (D&C 138:56) on the earth. They were among the “noble and great ones” (D&C 138:55) who “shouted for joy” (Job 38:7) at the creation of the earth

(My thoughts: I think this is a vital concept for all of us to understand: we women, we received "first lessons." We were among the "noble and great ones." We were taught by our Heavenly Mother, and I fully believe she watches over us, nurturing us still, and is so delighted when we teach our children to think clearly and have faith. She wants us to be strong, like she is. I believe it. Every divine attribute we have - everything we can identify as divine in us - must be what she is like, don't you believe, too?)

...

[My mother] had devoted her life to progress. Though it was uncommon at the time, she was university educated and advancing in a career. Following her marriage, children arrived in quick succession; and in a short span of years, she was the mother of a large family. All the knowledge she had acquired, all her natural abilities and gifts, all her skills were channeled into an organization that had no earthly bounds. As a covenant-keeping daughter of God, she had prepared all her life for motherhood.

...

I was recently at a park where I met a group of women with mother hearts. They were young, covenant-keeping women. They were bright and had obtained advanced degrees from respected universities. Now they were devoting their considerable gifts to planning dinner that evening and sharing housekeeping ideas.

(My question: I would be interested to have a discussion with the girls about (1) How could anything we learn or do before motherhood (or caring for any child) help us be better, wiser, more capable mothers? For example, these women had "advanced degrees." How does that, or jobs, or whatever else change us and/or prepare us? and (2) Why is that important? Is that important? What exactly is the work that goes on with children? What is our opportunity, exactly? And how does giving ourselves more fully to teaching children doing the work of God? or is it? I have my thoughts but I think to open up some of these questions in the right setting, where the Spirit was guiding the girls, would be a really, really interesting and important discussion.)

From Sheri Dew's "Are We Not All Mothers?"

Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable”²regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.

(My thoughts: I liked the line "He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire." Having worked with YW several years, and having worked with my own children, it is amazing how little influence I can have over the YW and how immense my influence can be with my own children. I have a daughter who is bright and confident. We can think together, learn together, read scripture together. She is quite startlingly prepared to face the world and I think she will come out strong, faithful, and a leader. That is, of course, in part because of her decisions and personality. But perhaps it is a combination of her faith and "first lessons" before this life, and her "second lessons" immediately available in a covenant-making, covenant-keeping home? (And a home where parents study, think and talk about those covenants, not just treat them like something we hang them on a shelf to say we got them...) What are your thoughts?)

From Sis. Beck's "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family"

Motherhood and fatherhood are eternal roles. Each carries the responsibility for either the male or the female half of the plan. Youth is the time to prepare for those eternal roles and responsibilities.

Parents, teachers, and leaders can help young people prepare for the blessings of Abraham. What are those blessings? Abraham tells us in Abraham 1:2. He says he wanted “the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer; … to be one who possessed great knowledge, … to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers.”

Where are these blessings Abraham received? They come only to those who have a temple sealing and marriage. A man cannot become a “father of many nations” without being sealed to his wife. Likewise, Abraham could not hold the right belonging to the fathers without a wife who had the right belonging to the mothers.

The stories of Abraham and Sarah and of Isaac and Rebekah are found in Genesis. Abraham and Sarah had only one son, Isaac. If Abraham was to be the “father of many nations,” how important was Isaac’s wife, Rebekah? She was so important that he sent his servant hundreds of miles to find the right young woman—one who would keep her covenants, one who understood what it meant to form an eternal family.

In Genesis 24:60, Rebekah is blessed to be “the mother of thousands of millions.” Where do we find those kinds of blessings? They are received in the temple.

The story of Isaac and Rebekah is an example of the man, who has the keys, and the woman, who has the influence, working together to ensure the fulfillment of their blessings. Their story is pivotal. The blessings of the house of Israel depended on a man and a woman who understood their place in the plan and their responsibilities to form an eternal family, to bear children, and to teach them.

In our day we have the responsibility to send “Isaac” and “Rebekah” forth from our homes and classrooms. Every young man and young woman should understand his or her role in this great partnership—that they are each an “Isaac” or a “Rebekah.” Then they will know with clarity what they have to do.

(My thoughts: So Sis. Beck points out something that both Sarah and Rebekah had that was "pivotal" to the history of the the House of Israel. They had "the right belonging to the mothers." I feel like I want to apologize on behalf of scripture that these sorts of clear sentences aren't there. But I think Sis. Beck is drawing out implications of doctrines that are actually there, but it takes a careful thinker to put it as she does. Why these ideas are more plain I don't know; but regardless, perhaps through our faith we can see what the scriptures are doing without saying, what their words imply but don't spell-out. Perhaps it is a reward for those who take this work seriously enough to patiently work and think through the temple and the scriptures?

Back to Sis. Beck's quotation, I think that we do need to teach the young women to be like Rebekah, who "would keep her covenants, one who understood what it meant to form an eternal family." In addition, we're going to need to teach them do lots of careful and committed scripture studying in order to understand their covenants and what it means to form an eternal family.)

And, okay, one more ramble of my own, sorry: I think it's crucial that we not only teach about "roles" but about the scriptures and doctrines behind those roles, and also to teach that we're not done learning about those roles. It is by studying the scriptures that our heart becomes ready to do whatever God wants us to do. It isn't by talking kids into liking playing with kids that we will keep them active in the church; it is by going to the scriptures etc. over and over again that they become converted to them, and it is only by consistently learning from the scriptures that we do anything of real importance. They keep us anchored, or rather, they keep us moving. Remember Lehi's vision that Nephi saw too? Well, those who went on the path were headed toward the tree, but when there was confusing mists they couldn't see their way anymore and didn't stick around. It is only those who held the rod who made it. And the rod is the word of God, no? And it's not just finding the rod that allowed them to make it. It because they were holding to it, hand over hand, "clinging" to the rod until they made it to the tree, and then once they got there, "falling down" in joy and humility. To teach kids that "motherhood is good" is something like showing them the path in hopes they somehow like that path and can sorta figure out about where it goes even when there are mists. But where's the "joy" (as the lesson title suggests) in that anyway? If we simply are told "this is the way it is" that might be a reason to obey, but not to enjoy. Eve rejoiced, not just obeyed:

And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient. And Adam and Eve blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons and their daughters.

Eve was glad. Why was it that she was so happy? If we studied what she knew and why she rejoiced, would we rejoice also? Would our YW rejoice? And would we, out of joy, and not out of "that's what you're supposed to do," also "[make] all things known unto [our] sons and [our] daughters?"

(Note: These notes have now also been posted at Feast Upon the Word Blog, in a slightly revised version.)

Always Remember... (YW Lesson 4, Manual 1 - "Seeking the Companionship of the Holy Ghost")

2012-01-18T09:33:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been thinking more and more about the sacrament prayer's promise that as we "always remember Him" we can "always have His Spirit" with us. What is it about "remembering" that brings the Spirit? How do we remember? Do we confess His hand in all things? And does that mean that we see everything as His work? As grace? Is it that we always remember His love for us? The "greatness of God, ... his goodness and long-suffering towards [us]"?

I just did a search for "always remember" in the scriptures at lds.org. Besides references to the sacrament, I found references to several other passages that might open up other ways of thinking about remembering.

The first is from D&C 46, a section detailing and discussing the gifts of the Spirit. The direction in verse 8 is to "seek ye earnestly the best gifts [ie, seek the gifts of the Spirit], always remembering for what they are given." The promise, from the sacrament prayer, is that as we always remember Him, we will always have His Spirit to be with us. Shouldn't we then, as D&C 46 suggests, always remember the gifts or ways in which the Spirit can come to us? To be aware of how He is communicating with us, or fulfilling this promise from the sacrament?

Remembering why they are given is important too. Here is a more full quotation of this part of D&C 46:

8 ...seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given;
9 For verily I say unto you, they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me, that ask and not for a sign that they may consume it upon their lusts.
10 And again, verily I say unto you, I would that ye should always remember, and always retain in your minds what those gifts are, that are given unto the church.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.

I like the idea that to each of us is given a gift, or gifts, so that all are profited. It isn't just for me, but given to me in order that I might bless others. To some it is given a strong testimony. Why? So that they can testify and others believe on their words. To some it is given the word of wisdom, but to others, the word of knowledge, so that they can teach others to be wise. To some the gift to heal, to others the gift to be healed. To some the give of speaking in tongues, and to others the interpretation of tongues. Not all of the gifts listed have such a strong parallel gift, but they are all given for the same purpose: "that all may be benefited" and that "all may be profited thereby." The gifts of the Spirit are gifts given to us to then give out to each other.

Perhaps having that view would change the way we pray to God, remember Him, and seek the Holy Ghost?

The second reference I want to mention is from Helaman 13:22. Here we have a bad example where the people are not remembering God. Samuel says:

22 Ye do not remember the Lord your God in the things with which he hath blessed you, but ye do always remember your riches, not to thank the Lord your God for them; yea, your hearts are not drawn out unto the Lord, but they do swell with great pride, unto boasting, and unto great swelling, envyings, strifes, malice, persecutions, and murders, and all manner of iniquities.

What might we learn from this? Here the Lord had blessed them, but they saw those blessings as the work of their own hands. They saw them as things they had earned, and therefore not as gifts from God. Is this where we see that we must "confess his hand in all things" - and remember to "thank the Lord your God" for everything we have? To see it all as grace? And when we see it as grace, a gift, can we apply the same lesson we learned from D&C 46 here too? All gifts from God, including riches, peace, security, love, family, education, etc., are given "that all may be profited thereby"? This could take a thousand shapes, of course - but I think there's truth in there. What else does it mean to promise to consecrate all we have and are, if not to see it as God's gift and be willing to use it as the Spirit directs?

Anyway, a few thoughts on remembering. What are yours?

Additional Resources for YW Lesson 4 "Seeking the Companionship of the Holy Ghost"

2012-01-18T09:02:00.000-05:00

Immediately Elder Bednar's talk on seeking to receive the Holy Ghost came to mind, and it's also mentioned in the Resource Guide for this lesson:

David A. Bednar, “Receive the Holy Ghost,” Ensign and Liahona, Nov. 2010, 94–97.

From her 2009 post, jeans suggests and describes several great talks/articles by Elder Asay, Elder Oaks, and Elder Wirthlin. Check out her post here.

(I'm working on a post on the sacrament prayers and it should be up soon if not today.)

Although the focus is on "being worthy" for the Spirit, many of the girls will likely have questions on what the Spirit feels like, when they should seek its confirmation of a decision, etc. It will of course be up to you through the Spirit to know what to focus on, but several of the suggestions in the Resource Guide and jean's post address that too. One of my favorites that goes in that direction is Elder Scott's "Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer." Here's a quotation:

Some misunderstandings about prayer can be clarified by realizing that the scriptures define principles for effective prayer, but they do not assurewhen a response will be given. Actually, He will reply in one of three ways. First, you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right. Or second, you can sense that unsettled feeling, the stupor of thought, indicating that your choice is wrong. Or third—and this is the difficult one—you can feel no response.

What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.

I guess to go this direction, you would have to see the Spirit as the reverse of prayer, the response of prayer. I've never put it quite that way before but maybe there's something to that?

Some great posts on D&C 25, the revelation to Emma

2012-01-17T17:33:00.002-05:00

Every January FMH invites several men to contribute posts of interest to the women who read their blog. This January, my husband Joe was invited and has posted his research and thoughts on D&C 25. If you've ever wanted to know more about Emma, about her place in the church, about what the revelation does or does not say to us, now's your chance to get some great, detailed information! The first post comments on the words, structure, and history of the section. The second post builds on the first, and asks questions and offers interpretations. For a little taste, here's part of the second post:

The Lord doesn’t say to Emma that she had murmured and so done wrong, that she has murmuring to repent of. Rather, the Lord simply tells her not to murmur. All that is implied here, strictly speaking, is that Emma faced a real—and, frankly, obvious—temptation. She would unquestionably have been tempted to murmur. But the crucial question is: Tempted to murmur because of what? Because, as the Lord puts it, of her marginalized status: “Murmur not because of the things which thou hast not seen.” Emma has, despite her unfailing support for Joseph, been left out of things, and the Lord explicitly recognizes the fact. It’s crucial to see that it’s in direct response to this recognition on the Lord’s part—to this recognition of Emma’s marginal or marginalized status—that certain appointments and responsibilities are given to her. This revelation thus serves as a kind of call to Emma to move out of the margins, assuming responsibilities that have hitherto been entirely the work of men, as I’ll explain below.

Verse 4 is thus, I want to suggest, indeed the key to understanding the revelation. But it isn’t the key in the sense traditionally assumed. It doesn’t give us to see that Emma was a “proud, fearful, murmuring woman.” It gives us rather to see that she faced a real—and perhaps unavoidable—temptation to wallow in self-pity, to sulk on the margins, if not to use her marginalization as an excuse not to have to take up any serious responsibilities. The Lord cautioned her against such self-congratulatory murmuring, inviting her instead to move out of the margins and into the beating heart of the Church, appointing her to a remarkable position in the young movement.

Some thoughts on 1 Peter 2:18-25 from "Following the Example of Jesus Christ" - YW Lesson 3, Manual 1

2012-01-10T16:01:00.000-05:00

When I taught some awesome Beehives back in 2009, I remember them picking this section of verses and working through them together. Here are some thoughts on these verses from 1 Peter 2:

18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

This is almost like Christ saying (in Matthew 5:44),

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

The structure is similar between the two passages. The idea in Matthew is that it is easy to love those who love you, but harder to love those who hate you. But, in order to be "children of your Father" in Heaven, you need to understand that all are loved by God. In order to be perfect, like God, you need to love everyone, like God does.

1 Peter says that not only should we be patient when we're being called to task for something we've done wrong (and that's hard enough as it is!), we should be patient - even more so! - when we "do well, and suffer for it." Because our conscience is directed toward God, and not toward man. The passage continues:

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

This is even what we are called to do - to suffer others to be upset with us, even when we have done nothing wrong. In this, Christ set the example for us. He suffered patiently, even when He had done nothing wrong. And, like us, this is because His conscience was not toward man, but toward God. Or, as it says here in verse 21, His conscience was towards us - towards every man. Or, towards all mankind. (Each of those might have a slightly different meaning here.)

22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

Again, He wasn't being "buffeted" because of His faults. He did no sin, He had no guile. When others reviled, He didn't revile or threatened. Why? Because He "committed himself to him" - to His Heavenly Father, just like we should. But also this is "him that judgeth righteously." Men on earth won't judge righteously, so don't revile and fight them. Commit yourself to the Judge who will always judge righteously.

24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whosestripes ye were healed.
25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

How similar is this to us? When we are patient with others, even when they misjudge us, do we also in some sense open up a way for them to return to God? Will our patience and love eventually pave the way? Or, at the least, can we by our love not add another stumbling block to their path? Clear the way, get it ready, for some time when Christ can open the way for them?

What do you see in these verses? What do you think about how they teach us to follow Christ? What do you make of them?

Additional Resources for "Following the Example of Jesus Christ" - YW Lesson 3, Manual 1

2012-01-09T11:37:00.001-05:00

A few resources for you:

jeans' notes from 2009: http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2009/01/lesson-2-3-following-example-of-jesus.html

ks's notes are also posted at Feast Upon the Word Blog, so check out their discussion too: http://feastuponthewordblog.org/2012/01/10/some-thoughts-on-1-peter-218-25-from-following-the-example-of-jesus-christ-yw-lesson-3-manual-1/

Highlights from the Resource Guide:

As we partake of the sacrament every Sunday we are reminded to follow the example of Jesus Christ, but it is sometimes easy to become distracted by worldly influences throughout the week. What can we do to follow Christ’s example all week long?

ks's question: What is the relationship between always remembering Him and following His example? Are we to remember how He lived? Or do we remember His love and grace and that changes your behavior? I'd be inclined toward the latter, but what do you think?

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “You Are My Hands,” Ensign
and Liahona, May 2010, 68–7

Who can forget this talk? Amazing visual image.

Mary N. Cook, “Be an Example of the Believers,” Ensign and Liahona, Nov. 2010, 80–82.

I love having talks by YW Leaders to choose from too!

Other resources you would suggest to fellow leaders and teachers?

A tangent from the lesson on "Jesus Christ, the Savior" - Lesson 2, Manual 1

2012-01-05T17:07:00.002-05:00

(A similar discussion is now taking place at Feast Upon the Word.)

Okay I always tell myself I won't criticize the manual, I'll just explore scripture and have fun, but then I read these things and see how it's normally played out, and I just have to share my concerns anyway!

There's a section titled "Scripture Discussion" under the second sub-heading. The instructions are to

Ask for a volunteer to recite the third article of faith. Discuss with the class what the atonement of Christ is and what it means to us. Your discussion should include the following points:

So, ask them what they think, and then instead of learning together, tell them what to think. I hate seeing these things played out. Girls can give awesome answers, or ask good questions, but the teacher says, "Okay, that's good too but here's the answer..." and writes that on the board. That stunts learning, stunts the Spirit, and communicates to the girls that they can't learn on their own. It tells them the answers are facts from a manual. They don't really come from the scriptures, or even if they do, someone else has already mined them all out of there for them anyway. And if the girls think they can learn on their own, well, now we've shown them that they'll probably not get it quite right anyway.

Why don't we instead TRUST the girls to be intelligent thinking people, TRUST the scriptures to have something to say, and TRUST the Spirit to open our minds to learning? Elder Bednar just published a book titled Increase In Learning. He says over and over again (in what I've read so far) that we should be "agents" in our learning, and not "acted upon." We shouldn't wait to be told the answers, we should actively seek to understand. That is using our agency and the gifts of the Spirit we have been given.

Remember how we all take the sacrament just hours before going to class? Remember how we are promised that the Spirit will always be with us? It seems that promise is so timely when we go straight from sacrament meeting to our classes. What a great time to petition God for the Spirit and get to work learning!

Okay, so rant aside, if I were teaching I would definitely, definitely..., yes, DEFINITELY pick a scriptural text on Christ and then see what we all learn together, in the moment, by asking questions and talking. If you trust the YW to be intelligent they'll have things to say, I promise. Or questions. And you don't have to have the answers! It's okay to have more questions than answers - it keeps us thinking and seeking.

2 Nephi 9 is one of my favorites, as is Alma 12:20-37 (nice outline of temple themes, no?), and Alma 36. I think it would also be fun to just open up the topical guide and decide on one together as a class.

I feel like after that rant I should step back and hear what you have to say. I wish we could all be in the same room together, instead of at computers across the globe. Sigh.

Additional Resources for YW Lesson 2, Manual 1: "Jesus Christ, the Savior"

2011-12-31T09:41:00.002-05:00

This post, one of two posts on Lesson #2, is a place to share your Additional Resources. Among the suggested resources in the Resource Guide, I noticed these two videos:

"We Believe in Christ: Personal Testimony" (from the Youth Media 2011 DVD)
"The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Has Sent" (Mormon Messages)

Awesome choices. Jeans had some great suggestions when she posted in 2009 too:

Elder Holland's article "I Stand All Amazed" from the December 2008 New Era
The list of scriptures about Christ in Preach My Gospel, p. 47-48
"The Living Christ"

I'll write the second post soon with some of my thoughts. What are yours? What questions do you have? What resources would you suggest?

Being “A Daughter of God” – YW Lesson 1, Manual 1

2011-12-30T16:07:00.000-05:00

(Note: these posts are now going to be cross-posted at Beginnings New and the Feast Upon the Word Blog.)

Though a week later than I’d like, here are a few notes on the first lesson in the manual.

Though I won't dwell on the lesson outline, I do wonder about one of its suggestions: the girls are asked to list qualities of earthly fathers and then to apply that to our Heavenly Father. I wonder why is it that we want to project our experiences/opinions onto the scriptures? (I bring this up because I imagine there are going to be some young women with negative or strained feelings towards their own parents that could negatively affect the way they envision God.) Might we instead look to the scriptures first to see what God is like, and then change our understanding of fathers and daughters from that? In this post I will explore two passages that came to my mind: (1) D&C 25, the revelation to "Emma, my daughter," and (2) Alma 33, where the Zoramites' misunderstanding of prayer is overcome.

1). The lesson outline seemed to stay on this side of the veil, as it were. It starts with their earthly, daily experience and uses that to draw implications about what they can’t see. It talks about what it means to have good earthly relationships, about behaving as a good daughter should, about noticing our blessings here, and what all that that implies about our Heavenly Father there.

Looking on this side of the veil, I got to thinking about Emma Smith. She is the only female in the D&C to receive her own section of revelation. It deals with her life on this earth and what God expected of her. (It is also in her section that we get the title for the new RS history Daughters in My Kingdom.) What is it that D&C 25 could teach us about being a good daughter — as God himself presents it?

I actually found it quite remarkable to read this as a father-daughter conversation. An early version of verse 1 simply read, “Emma, my daughter” which is just beautiful to me. Verse 2 sounds like something a father would tenderly say to his child, “I want to help you and keep you safe, but you have to listen to me and trust me.” Heavenly Father explains to her that if she walks in the paths of virtue, her life will be preserved. She will also receive an “inheritance” – something passed down from parents to children. I’m sure she rejoiced in knowing her sins were forgiven (verse 3) and in knowing her Father had chosen her as an “elect lady” with work to do. Verse 4 reminds her to trust her Father, even when she doesn’t yet understand His reasons. I like that verse 5 refers to Joseph Smith as “my servant, Joseph, thy husband” – to me it seems to put Joseph and Emma on the same plane, geometrically speaking. They are both God’s children, and servants, and here He is explaining how He needs them to treat each other. (I’ve had several of those sorts of conversations with my children on how to treat their siblings as well…)

Jumping around a bit now, verse 9 lovingly reassures her that “thou needest not fear.” Verse 10 advices her to “lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better” – that better place, which is where He is. It’s not only a request, but an invitation to enjoy the kind of life He has with Him.

What is His daughter Emma asked to do? Here’s what I saw: Hearken. Be faithful. Walk in the paths of virtue. Don’t murmur. Fulfill the office of your calling (in Emma’s case, to comfort her husband and be his scribe). Receive whatever you are ordained to do (in Emma’s case, to expound scripture, to exhort the church, to work by the Spirit, tospend her time ”writing, and to learning much.”) Lay aside things of this world, seek for things of a better. Take up special assignments that are a delight to God (for Emma, it was making a hymn book). Lift up your head and rejoice! Cleave to your covenants. Be meek. Beware of pride. Let your soul rejoice (in Emma’s case, she could let her soul rejoice in her husband – maybe her fears were keeping her back?). Keep commandments continually.

And as the revelation concludes: “this is my voice unto all.” Perhaps we could all learn from Emma what God would like His daughters to be like. (I know I just did!)

(Note: for further thoughts and lots of historical details on Emma's revelation, see the two posts by Joe Spencer at FMH: read post 1 here and post 2 here.)

2.) The Resource Guide suggestions seemed to focus mostly on who God is and how to worship Him, and then secondarily on what it means to be His daughter (certainly a great approach , it seems to me). While browsing these suggestions I remembered the depressed and poor Zoramites telling Alma they couldn’t pray to their God. The poor Zoramites were afraid that there was something impeding their communication with God, and so their path to God seemed an impossible path. Their barrier was that they had been cast out of the synagogue by the oppressive order of the priests, too poor and ill-dressed to be admitted where God would be worshiped. Their barrier was physical, but it may have had spiritual and emotional barriers as well. Perhaps they felt like their poverty was in part their fault, that if they only worked harder and earning money then they would be worthy of worshiping God.

Obviously, they had misunderstood the character of their God and their relationship to Him. Alma and Amulek taught them that they had completely misunderstood the scriptures (or forgot to read them entirely), because they teach clearly that God can hear us anywhere. His example of Zenos not only includes fields and houses, but speficially when he was are “cast out” and “despised.” Alma went on to teach them that God reaches out to them so thoroughly that if they only “desire to believe” or have just enough faith to plant a small seed about Christ, God will bless them with growth and swelling experiences in the Spirit.

We, like the Zoramites, struggle at times to talk to our Father. We aren’t too likely to be barricaded by our priests from entering one of our chapels. But there are plenty of other (perceived) barriers that keep us from worshiping God fully. The poor Zoramites were concerned about their poverty getting in their way of worshipping God. That might actually be a real concern for some young women. Further, many struggle with feeling unworthy even when they have repented. Some women want to be perfect in all those little things we stress about before they approach God. Some worry that if they really began to open up to God, their weak selves would be on display and they don’t want to think about that side of themselves. All these (and many more!) are barriers to real, sincere, joyful communication with God.

And I imagine all of these problems could be overcome in same way Alma and Amulek did it – by looking at the stories in the scriptures that our auidence is already committed to. Alma the Younger prayed, even though he clearly wasn’t worthy (Alma 36). Or was he in that moment? What does it mean to be worthy? That might be an important tangent for a lesson sometime. What about the Lamanite king in Alma 22 who said, “ O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee.” What was it that grabbed his attention away from his sins and to God? Moroni was concerned about his weakness in writing (Ether 12) but God not only worked with him as a weak human being, but He was patient enough to explain to Moroni why it was that Moroni had nothing to be concerned about. Joseph Smith was only a poor farm boy with little education. What do we learn about prayer from him? Many, many scriptural passages are available to help us understand prayer and overcome the barriers we (and our young women) perceive between us and God.

Such are a few thoughts on this lesson. What are yours?

Of Gifts and Grace

2011-12-22T09:32:00.003-05:00

This year I have struggled a bit with how to teach my children about the growing number of presents under the tree. How can I help them appreciate what they are given? How can I keep them from being selfish? How can I help them be grateful and loving even while they are receiving presents like toys, stickers, and candy? Here are a few of the thoughts I have had.

All year long we receive gifts from God and from each other. In fact those gifts so thoroughly permeate our lives that often we don’t recognize them. A present under the tree is a symbol of all the millions of gifts we have received throughout the whole year. It is a stand-in for all gifts. For God’s “tender mercies.” For Grace.

King Benjamin is where I learned to think of everything in my life as grace. He says God “has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—” (Mosiah 2:21). It doesn’t matter what you are doing – you are doing it because of God’s grace. He created you, He gave you choices, He gives you repentance and mercy, He gives you breath to keep going and choosing. And He keeps calling after you, no matter where you go. His love and influence are infinite.

The wrapped present also symbolizes to me that I don’t know God’s purposes or plans. It is a surprise, a secret. Usually I don’t recognize God’s gifts as a gifts until one has been opened up, used, played with, or put on a shelf. In retrospect I see God’s “hand in all things” and realize the magnitude of His love. (D&C 59:21).

Sometimes God’s gift is one I don’t like. Sometimes it is a hard thing to keep. Sometimes I am given the gift of seeing my weakness, which nobody likes, but which is crucial (I give unto men weakness that they may be humble” – Ether 12:27).Without seeing our weakness, we wouldn’t have those experiences of going to God and realizing that it was God giving us His love all along. (See Jacob 4:7 too.)

I’ve hidden my gifts, my grace, to my kids behind paper that conceals my plans. But just their presence is a symbol of my love for them. Their very “blank” nature – no description, titles, or categories can be assigned to them yet – allows them to become a symbol of every good gift they receive from their parents all year long. I want to teach them that whatever is in there, it comes out of love. And I hope I can have the same trust of God: “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:11).

Jesus condescended (“came down with us”) so we could know of His love and of His gifts. “Remember that every good gift cometh of Christ” says Moroni. And this because of His ultimate gift.

I will end with a passage from Nephi’s vision in 1 Nephi 11:

13 And it came to pass that I looked and beheld the great city of Jerusalem, and also other cities. And I beheld the city of Nazareth; and in the city of Nazareth I beheld a virgin, and she was exceedingly fair and white.

14 And it came to pass that I saw the heavens open; and an angel came down and stood before me; and he said unto me: Nephi, what beholdest thou?

15 And I said unto him: A virgin, most beautiful and fair above all other virgins.

16 And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?

17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

18 And he said unto me: Behold, the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh.

19 And it came to pass that I beheld that she was carried away in the Spirit; and after she had been carried away in the Spirit for the space of a time the angel spake unto me, saying: Look!

20 And I looked and beheld the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms.

21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

23 And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.

It is the atonement of Christ that saves us. But contained within that moment of seeing Jesus come as a baby, condescending to be with us, is a profound announcement that He loves us. To Nephi and the angel, that love is “the most desirable” and “the most joyous” gift that could be given.

May your season be filled with rejoicing in all the Gifts which God has given!

Repost: A Post-Christmas Christmas Lesson (Gifts of the Magi)

2011-12-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

[Originally posted by jeans on December 26, 2009.]

Dec 20th was a snow-out here in New England, so the Christmas program and all the lessons got postponed to the next week. There was going to be a combined lesson with all three classes last week on the 20th (so I didn't prepare a Christmas lesson), but that leader is out of town this week, so now I am doing a class lesson about Christmas, but 2 days after the day itself. So I got one of those middle-of-night inspiration moments; and I thought I'd share my lesson with you - a Christmas gift from me to you.

Opener: The usual question after Christmas is "What did YOU get for Christmas?"
Using President Monson's 1995 article, "Christmas Gifts, Christmas Blessings" I am going to ask instead, What did you GIVE for Christmas?

Discussion: Gifts of the Magi

Who were the Magi, often called the Three Kings?
It's appropriate to talk about them after Christmas since it took them a while to get there, they weren't there at the night in Bethlehem when he was born (your nativity set notwithstanding). In other Christian traditions, the day that the Magi arrived is celebrated on January 6, as Twelfth Night or Epiphany.

Discuss cool double meaning for that word, by the way. Random House Dictionary definition = 1) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day. 2) an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity. 3) a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. The root word for Magi is the same as magic/magical, also.

There are some really interesting foods and traditions throughout Christianity for Epiphany, like leaving hay or grass for the camels, cabalgatas, sternsingers, tirer les Rois (crowning the King), rosca de reyes, and New Orleans King Cakes.

So who were they? Well, we don't know, really. We sometimes call them "the Three Kings," but we don't know if there were really three, or whether they rode camels, or of they were indeed kings (or astrologers, or scholars, or wealthy Arabian merchants) or where they were from (three different continents, Persia, China). See helpful entry in WebBible Encyclopedia, and an LDS perspective on the magi (scroll down to question #2).

The magi arrived probably up to a year after Jesus was born, based on their study of the new star that had appeared. They inquired about him in Herod's court, which aroused Herod's suspicion. They visited Mary and Joseph in their house, and brought gifts. They warned them about Herod's plot, and then departed home by another way, and Joseph and Mary took Jesus into Egypt for safety (a trip funded, perhaps, by the expensive gifts). Scripture: Matthew Ch 2.

Discuss the meaning of their gifts:
Gold = valuable/ kingship
Frankincense = perfume/ priestship (it's burned on the temple altar, to make a sweet-smelling white smoke, ascending to heaven like the people's prayers, see Ps 141:2, Luke 1:10) - a symbol of the Divine name
Myrrh = (only found in Yemen, btw) an annointing/embalming oil (it was used on Jesus's body, donated by Nicodemus, see John 19:39) - Esther was purified with it for 6 months (Esther 2:12). Mixed with wine, it was administered to people being crucified to dull the pain, see Matt 15:23, sometimes rendered as "gall," perhaps related to laudenum/opium and other psychotropic plants of the Middle Eastern world...eg in Gen 37:25, which is a different word also rendered as myrrh.

Discussion: Being Wise (Wo)men

What made them wise? Paying attention to signs and promptings. Giving priceless gifts that recognized and acknowledged Christ. Expending all to search him out and come unto him. And, being warned by the Spirit, going home by another way. All of those can be likened to us.In our family, we mark Christmas Eve with a pilgrimage to Bethlehem. We have a rambling New England farm property with woods, fields, and a barn. When our kids were little, we decided to use that to our advantage on Christmas Eve. We turned upturned flashlights into "torches" with yellow tissue paper, dressed in bathrobes and head coverings, and brought three gifts of gold coins, a perfume bottle, and a sprig of rosemary (closest thing I can find to myrrh). Our path around the property is lit by luminarias or candles in jars. One year in deep snow, my husband built snow sheep so we'd feel more like shepherds. Another year, a snow angel with gorgeous fluttering tissue paper wings. Our barn has a lighted star on it or in it, and inside is a manger or basket with a swaddled baby doll for Jesus. When the kids were small, the gift-giving usually ended in a tussle over who was first. Over the years it's become a very sweet tradition for us. We sing an appropriate carol at various stops along the way, as we see the star, or find the gifts, or watch over flocks by night. And afterward, we have a simple shepherd's meal for dinner, by candlelight: roast lamb, flatbread, olive oil, hummus, goat cheese, dried fruit, honey, olives, pomegranate.

This tradition really brings the meaning of Christmas home to us. There's something truly wondrous about tramping around in the dark with candle torches, seeing the star from far away, and falling on our knees by the manger with the curious animals coming in to the barn to see what's going on. It also gives us a chance each year to think about what we're bringing Jesus, what gifts we're offering him, what's of great value to us, what gifts (only) we can give. This year: tangibles = gifts to the anonymous ward "Angel Tree," a blood donation, an evening at a nursing home with some of our favorite older folks, treats and sweetness, the present of presence in the homes of friends, some gifts that had us digging deep into pockets. And intangibles = time, attention, obedience, love, forgiveness - that we can offer Christ.

Recount the O. Henry story, "Gift of the Magi" (it's too long to read, but I have a children's book version I will share part of). You know the story: Della sells her hair to buy the watch chain her husband Jim would treasure, while Jim sells the watch to buy beautiful combs for Della's incomparable tresses. Each gives the one thing most precious for the other, with reckless total love. O. Henry concludes:

"The magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi."

Ask what, as a wise woman, you can give to the Christ child? Provide little paper boxes (bejeweled with sequins, maybe) to place their ideas in as a take-home.

Photo from here.

The Manual's Introduction, part 1: Do I have to teach every lesson in the manual in the order they are printed?

2011-12-17T09:24:00.001-05:00

For many of us, it was lesson manuals that got us looking online and eventually landed us here at this blog. Over the next few weeks, I am going to do a series of posts on the manual - what it is, what it isn't, and how we can use it to do good despite its weaknesses.

So, today the question is: Do I have to teach every lesson in the manual in the order they are printed?

At first, you would think so. In Relief Society, there is a set plan for which lessons are taught which weeks. And generally speaking, the ideal is that "anywhere you go in the church, the same lessons are taught every week" in Primary, Sunday School, Relief Society, and Priesthood quorums.

But what about the youth programs? Are we expected to hold to that ideal as well?

Actually, we are not. In the Introduction to Manual 3, it says:

Lessons do not need to be taught in the order they appear in the manual, but all topics should be covered at some time during the year.

Notice also that all topics should be covered at some time, but not every single lesson. The topics in the manual are the guidelines of what we need to be focusing on with our girls. Notice also these words:

Remember that you are teaching young women, not just teaching lessons. Pray for inspiration to help them reach their full potential as daughters of God.

and also:

When you have carefully considered the needs of your young women, study the lesson titles and objectives of each lesson to determine which lessons will best meet those needs. By planning well in advance, you can be sure that the young women will receive lessons in all units and that you will provide a complete, balanced curriculum.

Notice that the manual instructs you to "determine which lessons" will be best for your girls. You are not actually expected, or required, to teach every lesson. Nor are you required to teach them in order. These lesson "titles and objectives" are available for you to pick and choose from, a sort of lesson a-la-carte meal so you can pick those things which will most nourish your Young Women.

I realize that for most of you, this decision is really up to your Young Women president. I feel like this is a great way to see the lesson manual, and allows us to work with the Spirit to determine what we teach the Young Women. If you feel the same, and if you feel comfortable, then perhaps you could point out that you "happened to notice this one part of the Manual Introduction..." and see what she says.

(Of course there are many people out there who simply appreciate knowing just what is expected of them, and to teach any other way than right through the lessons without much change to each lesson outline would completely rock their boats and throw off their routines. So it probably depends on your presidency whether or not you could bring this up. And if not, then of course you can do a lot of good with any lesson, no matter when it is taught!)

If you are in a position to plan, I just wanted to pass along one other thought I had. Looking at the stake calendar ahead of time would allow you to have several lessons together on the same topic without interruptions of stake conference or ward conference. You could also choose which lessons to have with all the YW together, and plan which Sunday would work well for that. (In many wards, all the YW meet together on Fast Sundays.)

Any thoughts from our readers? Have any of you ever taken this route with the manual before? Advice and suggestions for the rest of us that had never even noticed these lines in the Introduction?

NEW For the Strength of Youth booklet

2011-12-16T09:51:00.000-05:00

So I just saw today that they've revised the For the Strength of Youth booklet:

https://lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth?lang=eng

Some of the sections have been reworked to address things like ipods - very nice. Plus, when you use the online version, there are extra links, mormonads, articles, and even a place for youth to share thoughts with each other. Nice use of technology, eh?

What do you think of all that lds.org is doing to provide the "extras" to those who use their website for basic things like the manuals and For the Strength of Youth. When the books are just handed to you, do you think very many will find these resources without someone telling them? What about your youth? Do you think they will find this online resource? Do you think they will use it?

(Click to see the article at the Church News site on the changes.)

New Beginnings for One

2011-12-06T21:11:00.006-05:00

A reader ("Jenn") asks:

I'm in a pretty unique situation.

I am a counselor-less YW president in a very small branch in rural Illinois. I only have 1 young woman (and 2 incoming for 2012).

We are going to hold our NB immediately after our branch potluck, which occurs right after church on Sunday (our geographic boundaries are huge and it's too far to drive to have people come back Sunday night...and we don't have Mutual).

We meet in a rented building and have 1 room that functions as our chapel, cultural hall, and adult classroom. That's where we'll have our program. :)

I'm thinking of using this talk by Elder Nelson as our theme: Daughters of Zion.

I'd love any input from others on how to structure a program for such a small group. Obviously, there will not be any skits or musical numbers (unless my YW wants to do a solo!). Suggestions?? Thanks in advance. :)

How can we help Jenn put together something special for this YW and her family? What are your ideas?

One suggestion for Money Management Lesson (#46)

2011-12-05T17:22:00.001-05:00

I wanted to get this idea out soon because I think it's such a good one for this lesson! I'll hopefully get a post out this week too.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/becoming-provident-providers-temporally-and-spiritually?lang=eng

I particularly liked these two stories from Elder Hales:

May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.

The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”

The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)

Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.

After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.

These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”

What's in a Vocation? "Choosing a Vocation" - YW Lesson 45 Manual 3

2011-12-02T17:05:00.001-05:00

Thanks Hailey for pushing me a bit, I needed it this week. After a little searching at lds.org, I hit the jackpot with this quotation by Elder Nelson:

A daughter of Zion is well prepared to make personal choices based on the cornerstones of revealed and restored religion. She comprehends the privilege of agency and is courageous in accepting responsibility for the consequences of important choices. She has the moral courage to do what is right and the integrity to stand for the truth....

The continuing acquisition of knowledge is important to all women—those who enjoy the blessings of motherhood as well as to others who may realize the fruits of the gospel through efforts such as a researcher, a librarian, a teacher, or a doctor. All selfless service of worth that enriches or sanctifies the lives of others is valuable. To the Ephesians (without regard to gender or marital status), Paul said: “Walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Eph. 4:1).

I liked that Elder Nelson adds those words "without regard to gender or marital status." And while he is speaking to women specifically earlier in the paragraph, what he says to them ought to go for all - "all selfless service of worth that enriches or sanctifies the lives of others is valuable." I suppose we might have to give some jobs more thought to see if they also qualify; or, while we are in any job, can we act in such a way that we are enriching the lives of others? Some things to think about.

(Plus, what a great scripture he found too! One that actually uses the word "vocation!" - I was quite pleased. :) )

So what is in the name "vocation?" My husband pointed out to me that the word "vocation" is related to the word "call" - think of how we call the opening prayer an "invocation." It's related to "vox" (voice). Looking at the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, I found this entry for vocation:

1 a : a summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially : a divine call to the religious life b : an entry into the priesthood or a religious order
2 a : the work in which a person is employed : occupation b : the persons engaged in a particular occupation
3 : the special function of an individual or group

In 2008, jeans found it interesting that the lesson used the word "vocation" rather than "career." She said,"I also really like that the lesson title uses the word "vocation" rather than "career." Somehow vocation, to me, implies a lifelong passion for something, which you are likely to pursue or follow in some form even if you're not getting paid for it at all stages of your life - something you want to contribute to the world, something that brings you joy and fulfillment."

Keeping that definition in mind, let's look at the discussion questions found in the lesson manual:

How could the vocation you are considering enrich your life, now as you prepare and in the future?

This question could go right along with our definition of a "vocation" as something you enjoy, whether being paid to do it or not! In my case, when I went to college I found that the classes I enjoyed the most, and the classes I got the best grades in, happened to be Humanities classes. They fulfilled my GE's so I kept taking them until finally I realized it would make a great major for me. I enjoyed the classes then. I still enjoy learning now. I didn't end up finding employment in that, but if I ever want to I can still go back for a master's degree and teach. In my case, when people asked "What are you going to use that for?" (the question every liberal arts major hates to hear), I usually smiled and said, "To have good art and music in my home." I was serious, but it also deflected the question for me. I knew I could go on and teach, but I also knew that might not be a serious option for me. Either way, I saw many applications for what I was learning. (And today I find myself homeschooling and teaching my kids about artists and great music, another way of enriching the life of others that I never planned on.)

It is wonderful when we can find something to study that we love, and that also can provide for us when needed. We don't love it because it can provide, but we are pleased when we can both love it and rely on it.

How could you use your talents in this vocation?

I wonder what this question implies. Is it that you shouldn't chose a vocation unless you can use your talents? Is it that if you can use your talents in a vocation, it will fulfill question one and enrich your life? Is it that God has given you talents, and if you can use them in your vocation then you can enrich the life of others?

How could it be used to benefit a family?

Well, in my case, learning about great art, music, dance, etc. has allowed me one area of competence with homeschooling. But I think getting a college education has benefited my family in many ways. (I haven't had full time employment for many years, so I guess I'm tweaking the question a little for my situation.) My kids will be more likely to go to college themselves, since both of their parents did. I collected books for my classes, and some of those were the beginnings of our rather large family library. Just going to college and writing, reading, pushing myself to do something hard, having those away-from-home experiences, seeing more the world, all of those things have changed me and made better able to parent.

But certainly, there are many examples of how a vocation could bless a family. Experience and knowledge in any field could bless a family. Just being engaged in something you love and feel called to do changes who you are, I think.

I'd be pleased to hear some specific examples from your experiences if you'd like to share them in the comments.

Would this vocation allow you to support yourself?

Very good question, though very hard to answer. In this economy, even if you get a masters or PhD in what you love, you still might have a hard time finding the work you want! Even if you are qualified, it may still take a year or two to find employment. And sometimes the least "practical" vocational choice might turn into a great job that you absolutely love.

But, that said, I can of course see the wisdom in asking the question. I guess I'm glad it's the last one on the list. First, we ask, does it enrich your life? Then, can you use your talents? Third, could it benefit others (specifically a family here, but "others" in general is a good question to ask, based on the quotation by Elder Nelson)? And finally, last of all, is it also a vocation that could allow you to support yourself?

Talking about vocations "if you need them" is a bit like food storage. "Make sure you have that wheat and dehydrated food, just in case you need them." I heard someone say (was this in conference? I can't remember) that most of us are more scared of having to eat our food storage than go through a natural disaster itself! This would be a very bad way to "save up" a vocation to use, just in case.

I can't be motivated by fear. But I can push myself to enjoy something and be wise at the same time. With food storage, I have a hard time being motivated to gather a year of stuff I wouldn't know how to use well anyway. But, I can see the wisdom in gathering together a month of food that we use anyway, and working through that and replacing it as I go, etc. That makes sense to me. It is food we enjoy anyway, and having a little extra on hand makes sense. (Sidenote: This my approach to food storage as it best fits our family right now. I got the idea from church's site providentliving.org. But, we are also gathering the longer-term storage as we can - wheat, pasta, rice, etc.)

I hope the comparison is clear though - if we choose a vocation that we hope we never have to use, then all that time training is not something we are enjoying. It is not enriching our lives. We only like it because it might bring us money someday. We only like it because we can rely on it to do something for us. And if we ever have to use it, we may be likely to have a negative attitude towards it, which would make it harder for us to see how it can benefit our family or others around us. Anything can do that, but if we see a vocation as simply a survival-money-making activity, it might be harder to allow that to happen.

But choosing a vocation that we enjoy now, and enjoy preparing for, and would enjoy if we were asked to work in that field - that is more like storing up food that we enjoy anyway, and just having a little extra on hand in case we need it makes sense. We are prepared, but we are not afraid or dreading the future. In fact, we aren't thinking just of the future. We are ready for the future, but we are enjoying it right now as well. I like that way of handling both food storage and chosing a vocation!

There, a few thoughts for the weekend. :) Hope you are having a wonderful beginning to the Christmas season. Enjoy!

"Avoiding Crisis Living" (YW Lesson 44, Manual 3) - a few more ideas

2011-11-23T09:09:00.001-05:00

Although I enjoyed reading the post by jeans from 2008 on this lesson, I still had a hard time getting excited about this lesson. I think perhaps the reason I have a hard time with the end-of-the-manual lessons is that since they are so practical-focused, I feel like I should be giving advice or being a good example, when in fact I'm not very good at not procrastinating or keeping a model budget. I'd rather have a nice solid doctrinal lesson, because then I can point to the scriptures for truth, and not to me. :) Seriously though, I think there is something more substantial in teaching doctrine from the scriptures, and letting the Spirit guide them in how to apply it. But, that said, here are some of the various ideas I had for this lesson, some of which I used (I got to sub this week! yay!) and some I did not:

1.) What is a "Crisis?" What makes us call something a crisis?

2.) Why do we procrastinate something that we actually want to do? How have you avoided that and made sure you did something that was important to you? (especially things like reading your scriptures?)

3.) When have you had something that felt like a crisis, but it actually turned out to be something you were glad you went through? What made the difference? Why was it good?

4.) What is the difference between going through a crisis, and avoiding crisis living?

5.) A thought of my own: When Lehi is talking to all his sons before he dies, he tells Jacob that even though his brothers Laman and Lemuel were completely rotten to him ("in thy childhood thou hast suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren"), God will turn this into something good: "Nevertheless, Jacob, my first-born in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain." Sometimes we have a crisis because we caused it (procrastination) and sometimes we have a crisis because someone else caused it. But, either way, we can go to God and ask for help, and he can consecrate it (or "make it sacred") in some way. (It might not be the way we want it, but God can do something good for his purposes with whatever happens.) It was at that point in the lesson that the Spirit came for us.

What other thoughts, discussion questions, talks, ideas, stories, media, etc. have you come across in preparing for this lesson? What went well for you?

Relevant! Recent! Check out the sidebar for Lesson 43

2011-11-12T09:09:00.001-05:00

This is another plea to READ THE SIDEBARS! at lds.org. Just to give you a taste, below is the sidebar help from lesson 43 "Associations with Others." Notice how much more relevant the questions and personal progress suggestions are? (texting! social networks! cell phones!) But also thoughtfully done, as well. For example, the question simply asks if these help or interfere, allowing the girls to talk and analyze what is happening in their own lives.

And also, notice how up-to-date the conference talks are? 2009. 2010. 2011. The one from the YW meeting this year by Sis. Cook was a great one. And Pres. Uchtdorft's talk on relationships is one of my all-time favorites by him.

I don't want to say I want to throw out the manual completely and just use these, but... well, okay, I'll say it. This is all so much more relevant... and much more substantial.

And plus, you've even got two videos from lds.org you could use. Relevant, recent, and using media. Love it.

Unfortunately, I think right now all this great work is just the best-kept secret of the YW program. So, do me a favor (or the YW really) and share lds.org with all those hard-copy manual users, who have no idea this even exists!

-------------------------
Discussion Questions
Think of a person you consider to be charitable and to have good social skills. What is this person like? What does he or she do to understand, help, and positively interact with others?
How can texting and social networking activities help or interfere with developing wholesome relationships with others?

Words of the Prophets
Thomas S. Monson, “May You Have Courage,” Mar. 2009 general Young Women meeting. Consider using the 13 paragraphs beginning with “May I speak first about the courage to refrain from judging others…”
Thomas. S. Monson, “Charity Never Faileth,” Oct. 2010 general conference.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Of Things That Matter Most,” Oct. 2010 general conference. Consider reading the three paragraphs beginning with “Our Second key relationship is with our families…”
David A. Bednar, “Things as They Really Are,” Liahona, June 2010.

Additional General Conference Talks
Mary N. Cook, “Remember This: Kindness Begins with Me,” Mar. 2011 general Young Women meeting.
Koichi Aoyagi, “Helping Hands, Saving Hands,” Apr. 2010 general conference.
Margaret S. Lifferth, “Respect and Reverence,” Apr. 2009 general conference.

Additional Resources
Matthew 22:36–40; Mosiah 18:8–9; Alma 39:10.
New Era, June 1998 special issue: Friendship.
For the Strength of Youth (booklet, 2001), Friends.

Media
Music: “Each Life That Touches Ours for Good,” Hymns, no. 293.
Video: “A True Friend,” lds.org/youth/video.
Video: “Wish You Were Here,” lds.org/youth/video.

Accept and Act
For one week, be aware of your use of cell phones, television, and the Internet. Seek positive ways to interact more in person with others. Prioritize responsibilities, such as homework and chores.
Personal Progress: Good Works value experience 3; Divine Nature value experience 7; Integrity value project, bullet 3.

"Avoiding Crisis Living" post from 2008 - thank you jeans! (Lesson 44, Manual 3)

2011-11-06T11:12:00.000-05:00

Horray for jeans! The lesson I would have been least excited about by its title ("Avoiding Crisis Living") has now been transformed for me. In 2008, jeans posted at length about Ellis Reynolds Shipp, who is mentioned only quickly in the lesson plan. Here is her story, and also a link to the entire post by jeans:

Hooray! We get to talk about Ellis Reynolds Shipp in this lesson. She is one of my favorite Mormon she-roes ever: author of one of our sweetest hymns (231, "Father Cheer Our Souls Tonight"), one of the first female physicians in Utah who left family & home to get an Eastern medical education and then started a medical school back home in Utah, mother, plural wife, suffragist, one of those amazing 19th century Mormon women all around. She penned a diary & memoir that should be back in print and promoted to every LDS women's book club (Deseret Book, are you listening to me? Bookcraft, you had your chance when it was on your list in the 1960s) titled While Others Slept, a used copy of which is one of my prize literary possessions.

Ellis Reynolds was born in 1847 & crossed the plains at age 5 with her family. Her mother died when she was 14, so she became the woman of the house & cared for the younger children until her father remarried a year later. She lived part of her older teen years with her grandparents in American Fork. At 18, she met Brigham Young, who offered her a place at Beehive House as an adopted daughter, and she lived there during the time Young was establishing the Mutual Retrenchment Society among his daughters to curb their tendencies toward frivolous clothing - which over time became the Young Womens organization today. She married Milford Bard Shipp, and together they had 10 children (only half of whom lived to adulthood) - he had several other wives, up to 4 at one time. There was a great need for well-trained midwives and obstetricians in Utah at that time. Romania B. Pratt went to the Boston Female Medical College, and Ellis Reynolds Shipp went to Philadelphia Medical College, leaving behind her husband and three surviving children and while pregnant with baby #6 - she delivered a girl the day after her finals in May 1877. She graduated in 1878 at the age of 31, came back to Utah and established a School of Obstetrics and Nursing to train many of the Mormon frontier doctors and midwives - many of whom were mothers like herself. She delivered over 1500 babies without losing a child or a mother in childbirth by the time; she died at the age of 92.

Upon hearing an essay in 1971 by historian Leonard Arrington about Shipp, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote (in her essay "Epiphany in a Broom Closet"):

"Among the 'formidable, intelligent, resourceful, and independent' nineteenth-century women it described was Dr. Ellis Reynolds Shipp, a Mormon polygamous wife and mother who graduated from the Philadelphia Women's Medical College in 1878 (Arrington 1971: 22-23). All of us had grown up hearing about faithful (usually nameless) sisters who had borne children in tents or crushed their best china to make plaster for the temple. Arrington's essay gave us a new kind of heroism. In retrospect the essay is all the more remarkable because there was so little women's history, let alone western women's history, available at the time... Nor did he shrink from the contemporary implications of nineteenth-century stories. In the essay he contributed to our issue [i.e. the famous "pink issue" of Dialogue], he concluded, 'The Mormon tradition of womanly independence and distinction should inspire a later generation of women who are seeking their rightful place in the world' (Arrington, 'Damozels' 31).
Arrington's crisp summary of Ellis Shipp's achievements suggested that somewhere in the not-so-distant past Mormon women had managed to balance obligations that were about to tear our lives apart. Shipp, a mother of seven, had not only become a prominent physician, but a member of the General Boards of two church auxiliaries, and an intimate acquaintance of Susan B. Anthony and other nineteenth-century reformers ('Damozels' 30). Her story was a liberating but no less daunting version of the myth of the pioneer grandmother."

In the lesson, we get a tiny snippet that hints at Ellis's laser-focus on getting an education, and her willingness to sacrifice to achieve it:

“Early in my womanhood I marked out for myself a plan for study which served me well as the years passed on. I could not well concentrate on the lessons in books during the very busy daylight hours, so I decided on the early morning hours for my studies. Therefore I began my studies at four o’clock and put in three solid hours before the household began to stir.” (The Early Autobiography and Diary of Ellis Reynolds Shipp, M.D., comp. Ellis Shipp Musser [Salt Lake City: Deseret News Press, 1962], p. 64).

The quote's a bit misleading, because it makes it sound like she was a teenager at the time, but this was after she was married, had two children, and was running a household alone. Here she is (bottom right) with her three sister-wives Maggie (Margaret Curtis), Lizzie (Elizabeth Hilstead) and Mary (Mary Smith), in a photograph they had taken as a gift for their husband Milford. Source: Shipp, While Others Slept, 117.

Read the rest of the post by jeans here.

"Service in the Church" (YW Lesson 31, Manual 3)

2011-10-31T16:27:00.000-04:00

Although our ward is quickly plowing through the rest of the manual, I realize many of you are several, or even a dozen, lessons behind us. I decided to pick up a lesson that I skipped over when I was out of town which may be about where some of you are at. (And for any newcomers: our Manual 3 archive has a post for every lesson when jeans discussed them in 2008.)

I read through the suggested lesson for Lesson 31 - "Service in the Church." The stated objective is "Each young woman will understand the importance of serving in the Church and ways she can serve." While the lesson outline is okay, and encourages consecration of time and also finding little ways to brighten someone's day, there seems to me to be one thing missing: a vision of why we are here together.

Why do we meet together every week? Why classes? Why don't we just study on our own? Why callings? What exactly is this church we are serving in anyway? What is the purpose of the church and so what is the goal of our service there? These seem to be some foundational questions to think about before simply telling the girls they "should" like to have callings or they can also fulfil this "should" by doing small and simple things. Why the "should"? I guess I'm one of those people who wants to have a clear vision of why I am doing something. But I've found the YW like to know that too, especially the Laurels (who have had these same lessons several times over by now!).

So, why?

Well, the church's work, and God's stated purpose, is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life" of all his children. So, some further questions might be: How does YW bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of the young women? How can God use a bishop for this work? Why might He call YW to have their own callings? What might they do to help? How can a mother or a father help lead others to eternal life?

This might be a cool time to do some training for your YW. What is the purpose of a YW class presidency? What is the purpose of mutual? How can the class work together to accomplish something significant in the ward? with a less-active member? for someone at school?

Some resources for this are:

From Elder Ballard's talk "O Be Wise," which is all about church service (for example: May I suggest six ways in which we can serve both wisely and well? First, focus on people and principles—not on programs. One of the most important things we do through the gospel of Jesus Christ is to build people. Properly serving others requires effort to understand them as individuals—their personalities, their strengths, their concerns, their hopes and dreams—so that the correct help and support can be provided. Frankly, it’s much easier to just manage programs than it is to understand and truly serve people. The primary purpose of Church leadership meetings should be to discuss how to minister to people. Most routine information and coordination can now be handled through phone calls, e-mails, or regular mail so that agendas for council meetings and presidency meetings can focus on needs of the people...)

An old BN post: http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/search/label/training%20youth

Chapter 3 of the new Handbook: http://lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church/leadership-in-the-church-of-jesus-christ/3?lang=eng

Worldwide Broadcast from 2008: http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,8027-1-4404-4,00.html (for example, Sis. Beck says in the roundtable: "Years ago there was a little rule I made for myself that I think is pretty applicable to everyone. A good reason to have a ward activity or a stake activity is because we need it and it will strengthen our families and individuals. A bad reason to have an activity is because it’s a tradition or there’s a certain holiday we have to celebrate. When we talk about gospel patterns, we know the needs. Let’s plan the activities around those needs, and if something was a wonderful activity last year, it doesn’t mean we need to build it into a tradition."

From Elder Oaks Good-Better-Best talk: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0%2C5232%2C49-1-775-38%2C00.html#8 (for example: To our hundreds of thousands of home teachers and visiting teachers, I suggest that it is good to visit our assigned families; it is better to have a brief visit in which we teach doctrine and principle; and it is best of all to make a difference in the lives of some of those we visit. That same challenge applies to the many meetings we hold—good to hold a meeting, better to teach a principle, but best to actually improve lives as a result of the meeting.)

Any other thoughts on teaching this lesson?

PS-The lesson focuses for a while on important skills the YW might need in order to be good leaders. That might be productive, but it seems to too easily miss the point completely. What types of things do you think your girls would answer, if you just asked that question without any foundation? Probably that they need to be good at working with people, good at being organized, good at being dependable, etc. But then what is the implication of this? That those with these talents will get callings and those without them won't? What about the idea that God qualifies those He calls? What about teaching faith in God, that if He calls us He'll give us the spiritual gifts we need? (Think 1 Ne 3:7 here.) I appreciate all the manual does to encourage responsibility and good habits, but... doesn't it seem that a foundation of faith and scripture would be a more substantial way to go?

What about It?

2011-10-30T01:28:00.001-04:00

The LDS Church News published an article last week about encouraging YW to share their impressions about General Conference. Couldn't agree more that we ought to encourage them to engage with what is being taught right now by current leaders. The article was titled: "Time of Revelation." I wonder if they meant General Conference itself, or that by sharing their impressions they can see that they received personal revelation themselves?

A brief quotation from the article:

Make the most of general conference by providing opportunities for young women to share their feelings about what they learned, and how they will act upon words spoken by the Lord's servants.

Sharing what we learn invites the Spirit to confirm truths that are taught. As parents and leaders of youth we have many opportunities to encourage young women to share their thoughts and feelings about general conference — in family home evening, Sunday lessons and Mutual.

Sis. Cook says her family had a special post-conference tradition where they asked each other "What about It?"

We then have a family home evening entitled "What about It?" After being physically fed, we take the time to be spiritually fed by asking the question, "What about it?" or what are we as a family and individuals going to do as a result of listening to our leaders. Each family member is invited to share their favorite talk(s), what they learned, changes they want to make in their lives or their testimonies of what they know to be true.

Thoughts? Connecting YW with current leaders seems a vital way of preparing them for their future work in RS and everything they do as adults. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts on Daughters In My Kingdom (so far)

2011-10-28T17:18:00.000-04:00

I recently started reading the new RS history, Daughters In My Kingdom. It's an interesting little book. Despite my impressions from some reviews I read, it is exactly what Sis. Beck said it would be over a year ago: it teaches the principles of RS by looking at its history, and it unites women from varied backgrounds. For example, on one two-page spread there is a picture of a temple in Finland, a quotation from the Doctrine and Covenants, minutes from an RS meeting, a list of what to do to prepare to go to the temple for the first time, and a letter from a woman to her relatives explaining baptisms for the dead. Every few pages, I see a quotation that I've loved but never known where to find. On this same two-page spread, I found this one: "Oh mother, if we are so happy as to have a part in the first resurrection, we shall have our children just as we laid them down in their graves."

One reason I love having those quotations is that I know exactly what it said and where it came from. I can decide if this is something I want to teach in YW. I know where this came from: a woman's letter. It expresses her faith. But perhaps it should not be considered doctrine. In any case, the book itself presents quotations as they are: from letters, from minutes, from talks, from revelations, etc. In addition, I can read exactly what it said, and decide if the paraphrasing I've grown up on is accurate to the intentions of the author.

The format of the book reminds me of a magazine: short paragraphs and lots of pictures. Some of the paintings in the book are new to me. I like seeing several representations of the same event or activity. I especially appreciated seeing several representations of Emma Smith.

But aside from first impressions of the book as a book, so far what I've loved the most are all the quotations from Eliza Snow and Joseph Smith on the Relief Society. (The mores I read, the more I really wanted to get my hands on the RS minute book. And then it dawned on me I could check it out at the Joseph Smith Papers Project! Here's the link, if you're as curious as I am: http://josephsmithpapers.org/paperSummary/nauvoo-relief-society-minute-book#5)

I loved reading this quotation from Joseph on pages 14-15:

“This society is to get instruction through the order which God has established—through the medium of those appointed to lead—and I now turn the key to you in the name of God, and this society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time—this is the beginning of better days to this society.”

It seems to me that “the order which God has established” is equated with “through the medium of those appointed to lead.” Now, this could be read as referring to Joseph himself and all subsequent priesthood leaders. However, in the context, it seems to me to mean something different. The “order” is that there are appointed leaders, and in this case, there are leaders appointed to lead the Relief Society. They function as the receptacles of revelation for this organization. This seems born out by the phrase “I now turn the key to you.” We talk of priesthood keys, and here Joseph is giving the Relief Society organization its own kind of key. A key to revelation, a key which unlocks the doors to heaven to talk with God. It is not a priesthood key, because this is not a priesthood organization. (Yes, I know all the auxiliaries are now correlated with the priesthood for certain purposes, but that is not the kind of priesthood organization I am talking about right now.) The Relief Society will now receive “knowledge and intelligence” from heaven. What else would that mean, but that the leaders should and can receive revelation for their organization, just like Joseph received for the whole church? The Relief Society, it seems, wasn’t an organization "under" the priesthood. It was a separate organization, which followed the same pattern that the church did. But, remember that each of these Relief Society members was also a member of the church, and in that way every member of the RS was also “under” the authority of the priesthood, but the organization itself, it sounds to me, was not.

Indeed, for many many decades the RS ran its own organization, had its own sources of income, its own budget, its own manuals, etc. All of this was done without using tithing and without getting approval from anyone outside of the organization. (In fact, the RS basically had its own storehouse and lived a sort of law of consecration – there was a treasurer appointed to receive donations, and then the group decided who to help and how to go about it.) Again, remember that every individual sister was also a member of the church, and therefore she did pay her tithing and participate in temple ordinances, took the sacrament, and listened to the counsel of the Prophet. To say that the RS was not “under” the priesthood does not mean that it was against it or in competition with it. The RS was another, supplemental organization fulfilling the call Joseph Smith and others had extended: save souls, both temporally and spiritually.

This sounds to me like the relationship between the family and the church (though different, in that the family is eternal…). The family has its leaders, and the church has its leaders. The parent of a family receives revelation for that family. The Bishop of a ward receives revelation for that ward. A parent doesn’t receive revelation for the ward, and the Bishop doesn’t have to approve everything that goes on in a family. (See this talk by Elder Oaks.) They overlap in that the members of the family are also members of the ward. But this doesn’t mean that they are in competition.

I realize some things have changed since then, such as the RS working with tithing funds instead of having its own sources of income. Regardless of administrative changes, what I see in this quotation in our new RS history book is a principle about the "order God has established." Those in leadership roles, whether of a ward, a family, an auxilary, a beehive class, or wherever, have the ability and right to receive revelation. This seems very much in accordance with the recent broadcasts on ward councils. It also reminds me of Sis. Beck's talk from 2009:

If we work with this understanding, we will seek revelation and work in companionship with a bishop to fulfill the purposes of Relief Society in our own wards. As a result of operating in this way, if sisters and families need to be prepared for emergencies, the Relief Society can organize, teach, and inspire that preparation. If sisters and families need to prepare for the temple, the Relief Society can organize, teach, and inspire sisters to do that. If a bishop needs young single adult women to share the gospel and bring their friends back into activity, the Relief Society can organize, teach, and inspire that work. If mothers need to learn how to nurture and care for their children, the Relief Society can organize, teach, and inspire that work. If sisters need to learn and improve homemaking skills that will help their homes become a center of spiritual strength, then the Relief Society can organize, teach, and inspire that work. As has happened throughout our history, if priesthood leaders need to accomplish something significant, they can call upon the Relief Society to help them.

...Relief Society and priesthood leaders, this message will serve as your current official policy regarding additional Relief Society meetings. Should you have questions regarding anything we have taught here after studying this message, please counsel together in your own wards and stakes to discover the solutions you need.

Anyway, such are my thoughts. How has reading Daughters In My Kingdom changed the way you see Relief Society? And how might these changes affect the way you teach YW about Relief Society?

Individual Worth - additional resources

2011-10-19T17:36:00.003-04:00

A few ideas for the lessons on Individual Worth, loving yourself/others, etc.:

President Uchtdorf's talk from the RS broadcast on "Forget Me Nots" (http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng)

The story of young Ida Lewis, who took care of her family, ran a lighthouse, and rescued people at sea, which jeans posted about last July (http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/07/being-keeper-of-light.html)

Anyone want to share talks or media that you're using in your lessons?

"Recognizing Our Individual Worth" (Lesson 39, Manual 3)

2011-10-14T18:09:00.002-04:00

This seems like a wonderful time to open up that new Daughters In My Kingdom book and pull out some stories. Two of the three stories in the lesson manual are about men, and no women are quoted.

As always, I love the recommendations on the lds.org sidebar (recent! relevant! thoughtful! YW general leaders! talks addressed to YW!)

I also appreciated these discussion questions, and I'll share a few of my own thoughts:

What does the Young Women theme teach us about our worth?
What could you say to help a friend who does not feel that God loves her?
How does the worth of a soul differ in God’s sight and in the world’s view?
How does understanding the worth of others in God’s sight help you be kind and loving to others?

What does the YW theme teach us? I like that question because it something the YW can think about without us giving them the "right" answer. Chances are you have this displayed in your room. They can look at it and do some thinking. There may be more than the first 3 or so obvious answers too.

Along with question 2, I would ask, What experiences might someone have that would cause them to believe that God does not love her? What has she misunderstood in those experiences? What could we teach her about God, grace, and the atonement to change her feelings?

Obviously the "world" doesn't care about every soul; the natural man is selfish. But God cares about every soul. I have been intrigued by the word lately. Soul is the body and the spirit. So what does it mean to say the worth of souls is great in the sight of God? Does that change how we see the souls of those around us?

My own question: King Benjamin's (and Paul's, and Moroni's, etc.) position is that the way we feel self-worth is not by finding things we are "good at" and accepting compliments, but by recognizing that in our weakness God loves us. The way to true rejoicing, according to King Benjamin, is to remember both that we are "nothing" and that God loves us anyway. What do you make of this? I think the idea is that if we think that God is blessing us because we earned it or are "good enough," there is a part of us that will always disbelieve in God's pure love (because, let's face it, we all know deep down that we are imperfect and selfish). There is a part of us that will always doubt our self-worth. But if we can see that God loves us without our deserving it, and we can't get away from that, then we can begin to "always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God."

Such are my initial thoughts. What are yours?

Good Health Habits (YW Manual 3, Lesson 38)

2011-10-09T09:43:00.002-04:00

For those of you teaching the lesson on the Word of Wisdom, don't forget this great talk by Sis. Tanner:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2005/10/the-sanctity-of-the-body?lang=eng

I tend to think of a lesson on "good health habits" as out of place in a classroom focused on the gospel, until I remember the profound doctrine that the body and the spirit together make the soul.

Also, here is the link to the post by jeans in 2008 on this lesson.

Update: I taught this lesson last Sunday and added my thoughts as a comment.

How will you use the most recent General Conference in your youth lessons?

2011-10-05T14:41:00.000-04:00

I'm echoing the question jeans asked on twitter. How will you use the most recent General Conference in your youth lessons? This is also an open thread on anything regarding the October 2011 conference. What are your thoughts?

Teaching By the Spirit: D&C 42:12-14 and the YW Manuals

2011-09-27T16:41:00.000-04:00

I have been doing some work on D&C 42:12-14 and I wanted to test out my thoughts here at Beginnings New. So as always, I'm asking to know what you think.

A perpetual complaint about the Young Women program is: the manuals. They are out of date, they have problematic assumptions about the roles of women, they don't have much "meat" to them, etc.

Today I'm going to take a look at D&C 42:12-14 and how it relates specifically to the YW manuals.

D&C 42:12-14 are one of the usual places we go for the idea of "teaching by the Spirit." Verse 12 commands that we teach "the principles of my gospel, which are in the Bible and the Book of Mormon." In verse 13, this is qualified by two things: one, observe the covenants and church articles (all those duties in section 20, to be precise) and two, teach "as they shall be directed by the Spirit." Finally, verse 14 adds how to get the Spirit: "the Spirit shall be given unto you by the prayer of faith" and what to do if it doesn't come: "if ye receive not the Spirit ye shall not teach."

Now, let's apply this to teaching young women.

First, the heart of teaching in any classroom in the church, according to verse 12, ought to be the scriptures. In the scriptures we find the principles of the gospel, and the fulness of the gospel. Any question we have, or our students may have, will be found in there. It may take time and thought to work through those scriptures, but they are in there. Using scripture, relying on scripture, teaching the girls to read their scriptures: these will accomplish our ultimate goals of learning and living the gospel.

Second, all of this is conditioned by being "directed by the Spirit." What form does this take, exactly? Understanding the Spirit is the greatest and hardest thing to learn and to teach. Looking at D&C 20:45, which quotes from Moroni 6:9, may give us a few clues, however. When Moroni talks about the elders conducting meetings according to the Spirit, he lists a few things they may be lead to do: preach, exhort, pray, supplicate, or sing. I don't think this applies just to an elder conducting a sacrament meeting in early Utah history. I think a teacher in a classroom today also has these options available: a teacher might feel impressed to exhort members to keep a commandment just discussed in the scriptures. Or, a teacher might feel impressed to allow for some silent time to pray or ponder. A teacher might play music or ask the class to sing. Any of these things could take place, even during a time set a part for "teaching."

Another possibility comes from D&C 46, which came soon after D&C 42:12-14 and tried to clarify some things. In this section we get a list of the gifts of the Spirit. Here we read that everyone has spiritual gifts, and all the gifts are given to benefit each other. Many of these gifts are not things we would experience privately, but in a group setting. Perhaps one way to be open to the Spirit is to realize that every person in the room has access to the Spirit, not just us. A student can raise her hand and share an insight that came from the Spirit just as much as we can share our own thoughts by the Spirit. Also, D&C 46 encourages us to seek after all these gifts: of knowledge, wisdom, testimony, etc.

Third, we have to wonder, what if the Spirit doesn't come? What if we pray for a spiritual gift, but we don't receive it? Does this mean we shouldn't teach? How do we make sense of that? Well, I certainly don't have the definitive answer but I have some ideas. It could be that we pray for help with our lesson outline, but the Spirit doesn't come because there is another way the Spirit wants us to spend the time in our classroom. Maybe spending time getting to know each other better or praying for someone in the class is actually where the Spirit is leading us, rather than the plan we had of opening up the scriptures and teaching a lesson. Another possibility is that we are praying for a spiritual gift or for the Spirit because we want our lesson to go well, or, we don't want to be embarrassed. D&C 46 cautioned that we can't seek after gifts as a sign, or to just to benefit ourselves (to "consume it upon their lusts" as D&C 46:9 puts it). Gifts have to be sought so that "all may be benefited." Perhaps sometimes we pray for the Spirit desperately, in hopes that the lesson won't feel like a flop. I know I've done that. It isn't in faith or in charity, but in despair and frustration. And certainly without the Spirit. I end up feeling like a said a few words, but I didn't really teach anything. Also, I think there are times where we see what we take to be a spiritual gift in another teacher (wow, her lessons are so spiritual. wow, the girls really love her handouts. wow, what cool object lessons) and we try to imitate what she did rather than see what the Spirit wants us to do. When we try to force a "spiritual" lesson setting, we may be doing what D&C 46 and D&C 50 describe as following after spirits we couldn't understand. We may have had some "power" in our classroom, but it wasn't the Spirit - it was by "some other way."

So what do these three points have to do with the YW lesson manuals? Aren't we supposed to teach from them? And does the mere presence of lesson manuals somehow sabotage teaching by the Spirit?

First, permit me to again debunk something I've debunked before. Sticking to the "approved material" doesn't mean using the lesson outline line by line. Let me show this by looking right at the Introduction to Young Women Manual 3:

Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled: “Teachers would be well advised to study carefully the scriptures and their manuals before reaching out for supplemental materials."

Note that he didn't say, "stick to the manual" but to the scriptures (first in the list!) and the manuals. The scriptures are not extraneous material, they are the primary material.

The basic foundation for the course is the scriptures. Encourage the young women to bring their copies of the standard works to class each week.

The "basic foundation" is the scriptures, not the manual. And the Young Women should be learning right from them, every week.

Sometimes a young woman may give the correct answer in her own words without turning to the passage of scripture. When this occurs, ask additional questions to get her to read the scripture, for example, “How did Paul say it?” or “What additional insights can we gain from this passage?”

This is the real clincher for me. The instructions, in the manuals themselves, are to point to the scriptures as much and as thoroughly as possible. The answers are not in the teacher, not in the manual, but in the scriptures. I love the idea of asking the girls what they learned by how it was said in the scriptures. It seems to me to encourage an open-ended discussion-based lesson time, where the students and the teacher are learning together.

And this encourages the teacher and the student to be open to how the Spirit might be guiding them. A student has as much access to the Spirit as we do. I hate to see girls' answers overlooked because they don't match the ones in the manual. The girls are thinking. They are intelligent. They are interesting. And the more we push them to think the more they will feel free to discuss the scriptures and to listen to any promptings they are receiving. And that's where the real truth is!

Left margin notations suggest teaching methods

Please note that the manuals "suggest" teaching methods. Otherwise, where is the Spirit? The object lesson, the stories, the handouts, these are all ideas. But it is up to you, the teacher, to seek the Spirit to know how it will direct you. Seek spiritual gifts. Think up ideas. But be ready to yield to wherever it seems the Spirit is leading the lesson, in the very moment.

So yes the manual is insufficient. Though it could be improved, would it ever be sufficient without the Spirit? Without a teacher seeking spiritual gifts? Without Young Women who are thinking and receiving inspiration as well? The unfortunate thing is that too often, when YW teachers recognize that the manual is insufficient, they search the internet for supplements like cute handouts, sappy stories, or cool object lessons. Yes these do dress things up a bit, but often only as a covering over an otherwise bland, Spirit-less lesson. (Elder Holland calls these sorts of things "spiritual twinkies.") These are not bad in themselves of course. A variety of teaching methods is great, but only as guided by the Spirit and not to make us look good (or to "entertain" the class - which is in essence the same thing). Seek first the Spirit, then all this is given to you. Then the Spirit can help you see that this group of girls this Sunday need this song or that reminder. Or maybe a personal story. Or perhaps you are suddenly fascinated by how Alma discussed prayer and decide to spend the majority of the time on one chapter of scripture. Or after much prayer and thinking, you realize that nothing seems quite right, so you go into the classroom and see what surprises you. All of this is teaching by the Spirit. And I think it not only distracts us from the quality of the manual, it distracts us from ourselves. It isn't up to us to have a fantastic lesson. We point the girls to the scriptures. We realize that God's work can actually happen in the classroom (and will!). God is in charge, we are just there for the ride!

A hard leap of faith. But I encourage you to try it. Trust the girls. They will have a lot to say that will be inspiring. Trust the scriptures. The principles of the gospel are found there. Trust that God has a work He is after, and we are just helping him. Rather than asking God to send the Spirit to help us with our plans, let us pray that we can help God with His plans.

Oh, and one more thing: let me know how it goes. :)

Thoughts on a 1931 YW Lesson

2011-09-24T14:30:00.001-04:00

A few years ago I was perusing through the back rooms at a used bookstore in Spanish Fork, Utah, hoping to find old YW manuals to add to my research material. I finally found a YW Manual from 1931. (At some point I am going to trace the development of manuals from the early Brigham Young era--where the girls taught each other, came up with their own themes, etc.--to our current YW program. 1931 is a nice middle point along the way.) There are a lot of interesting things to look at in these old manuals. Who taught who? Who wrote the lessons? How long were they? Are there set questions to ask? How much of the program is focused on personal goals? Are there more lessons on "spiritual" topics or "temporal" topics (like being healthy)?

Today I want to share my thoughts and get your reactions to a segment from the chapter on Scripture Reading from this 1931 manual:

Have you ever listened to a fine rendition of Handel's "Messiah"? All the splendid words, set to this marvelous music, are taken from the writing in the Bible. Or Haydn's "Creation"? Again the great musician has found all the themes for his music within the written words of this book. How much greater the enjoyment when the words and setting are familiar and the ear of the listener can give itself to the full beauty of the music. What of Easter music? Is it one of your hopes some day to travel through the cathedrals of Europe or to linger in her famous art galleries? With a thorough knowledge of Bible events and characters, and the life of Jesus and his parables, how much greater will your interest in stained glass windows, in statues of the Apostles which adorn these great figures are so often to be seen, and innumerable portraits of the Madonna and child Jesus--of the Holy Family, including Zacharias and Elizabeth and the infant, John the Baptist. Every gallery boasts its treasures. Should you get to Dresden, shall you go to see The Sistine Madonna? Or when you are in Rome, shall you hunt up Michael Anglo's statue of Moses--the Law Giver--and find out why he is adorned with small horns on his head? And what about Michael Anglo's "David"? Do you now the world's most vivid and perfect story of human relations--the Good Samaritan? Can you, sitting on a rock in the mountains, fold your hands and say with understanding, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow **"?

Times have changed from 1931, eh? What hit me first was that the author assumes that all the YW want to be cultured, to be well-informed on great music and painting. She also assumes that enough of the YW have the desire (and the means!) to travel to Europe that this is worth talking about in a lesson. She assumes that if the YW get to Europe, they don't want to embarrass themselves by not appreciating what they see. There is an emphasis on being refined and educated, and not missing out on an opportunity because of laziness. These seem like good Victorian-era values. :)

I have mixed feelings about this being in a YW lesson. Personally, I would love it if more youth were being taught about great music, art, literature, and traveling to Europe to experience the culture opportunities there. I studied Humanities myself when I got to college but mostly I was trying catch up on knowing the basics. I never had the chance to go to Europe. I barely knew the Hallelujah chorus. I knew who Monet and Renoir were, but knowing their place in the history of art and what the Impressionist painters had to do with sculpture of Rodin was something I only glimpsed at the end of my time at BYU. I'm still playing catch up, compared to the old-fashioned classical education that was the ideal of the Victorian era. I'm hoping my kids get a bit of a head start being homeschooled, but I still don't have the funds to take them to Europe! So I'm a bit star-struck that a teacher could assume that of her students.

To be honest, however, this does feel a bit out of place in a lesson on Scripture Reading. Sure, when you have a mutual night on fine art, show them how the Bible has saturated the themes of great music and painting. But in a lesson on Scripture Reading, do we want to spend 1/5 of the lesson on it? I guess what bothers me is that the author uses this desire to be knowledgeable and cultured as a reason to study the scriptures. It feels like she is trying to talk the YW into reading the Bible by appealing to something they are actually invested in.

Although I suppose we probably do the same thing. We want the YW to be interested in something "important," but we don't think they really will be, so we have to dress it up a little or appeal to something they're already committed to. The gospel becomes a means to an end, rather than a joyful end in itself.

What are your reactions?

The Dating and Marriage lessons - some resources (YW lessons 35 & 36, Manual 3)

2011-09-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

For some of you, the lessons on dating and marriage will be coming up quickly. This post isn't a review of those lessons just yet. I thought for now I'd gather up some links to our past posts on similar topics. And as always, please contribute to the discussion by adding your thoughts and experiences!

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2010/06/dating-dilemma-tho-not-one-i-expected.html

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2010/04/lesson-2-15-temple-marriage.html

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2009/08/lesson-1-31-group-activities-basis-for.html

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/05/looking-for-advice-how-can-we-teach-yw.html

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2008/05/lesson-3-18-temple-marriage.html

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-arent-people-getting-married.html with the follow-up: http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/04/marriage-question-continued.html

And of course some conference talks from the sidebars at lds.org:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/guardians-of-virtue?media=video&lang=eng

http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-eternal-blessings-of-marriage?media=video&lang=eng

http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/celestial-marriage?media=video&lang=eng

"Avoiding" Dishonesty (YW Lesson 34, Manual 3)

2011-09-02T09:42:00.000-04:00

So I'm with jeans on this one, why is this lesson titled with a double negative?

Why "avoid"? Why not shun, or reject, or some such stronger word?

"Avoiding" dishonesty sounds like we are constantly confronting it and dodging it. Maybe like a driver going through an obstacle course. Our job is not to get rid of the cones, just don't knock one over. Is that an appropriate way to describe our experience with honesty?

This seems like a lesson that will inevitably be mostly full of stories. In her post from 2008, jeans shared a few, especially regarding academic honesty. Also check out the sidebar at lds.org for several conference talks. (My favorites would be Ann M. Dibb, “I Believe in Being Honest and True,” from Mar. 2011 general Young Women meeting and Richard C. Edgley, “Three Towels and a 25-Cent Newspaper,” from Oct. 2006 general conference.)

There are also some updated discussion questions on lds.org for every lesson. The ones for this lesson are still pretty basic, but to me the wording of the new questions always seems a bit more clear and up-to-date. (And there are no pre-formed answers the girls are supposed to magically answer with the exact wording or else we don't write their answer on the board... sorry, seen that too many times...)

More thoughts? How can we make this lesson not so straightforward that it takes about 10 minutes? I liked the comments from 2008 by anonymous & Reese about how other sins usually start with dishonesty. And then are perpetuated by dishonesty. (As someone who has watched a relative lie about pornography to the point of destroying a marriage and family relationships, then be honest only when caught, and now deny most of it all over again... I can see how dishonesty is certainly connected with other sins.) But really, as pointed out in those comments, every time we sin we are being dishonest with ourselves. Wickedness never was happiness, even though we think it will be worth it, once in a while.

Other thoughts?

Nope, it's not a hoax

2011-08-31T11:00:00.007-04:00

Yep, JC Penney is was really selling this shirt (at least at 11:30 this morning):

Captioned with "Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out? She'll love this tee that's just as cute and sassy as she is."

Horrific. In 2011? Really, JC Penney, REALLY?? Listen up: this shirt is neither cute nor sassy, it's just insulting.

Good readers: I don't have to tell you, as an educator, that it burns me up that marketers want girls to be stupid and boys to be plagiarizers. Luckily, there's a petition on change.org - go there and sign it; or write an email to JC Penney; express your outrage.

As one blogger put it, "This shirt is on backorder. If you need me, call someone else. I’m shopping for a new planet to live on."

Consecration (YW Manual 3, Lesson 28)

2011-08-29T14:38:00.019-04:00

[I think I've fixed all the formatting. Blogger and I have called a truce for now. :) ]

"Consecration" is one of those words that we hear now and then but isn't usually part of our every-day church-talk. I don't think the girls in our classes will often answer a question like, "So what can you do to draw closer to God?" by saying, "by consecrating my life."

Yet, some of the more recent conference talks have I think been moving us in this direction. For example, there was Elder Christofferson's talk "Reflections on a Consecrated Life" from Oct 2010.

I actually enjoyed his earlier talk more, called "Come to Zion" from Oct. 2008. His summary statement is this:

Zion is Zion because of the character, attributes, and faithfulness of her citizens. Remember, “the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them” (Moses 7:18). If we would establish Zion in our homes, branches, wards, and stakes, we must rise to this standard. It will be necessary (1) to become unified in one heart and one mind; (2) to become, individually and collectively, a holy people; and (3) to care for the poor and needy with such effectiveness that we eliminate poverty among us. We cannot wait until Zion comes for these things to happen—Zion will come only as they happen.

He also gives a scriptural background for the word Zion, looking both at Enoch's city and at the early attempts by Latter-day Saints. Each of his three points (unity, holiness, caring for the poor) have their own sections within the talk as well. Great information, with lots to work with.

I'll share my own understanding of consecration, in hopes that it will either help someone, or someone can help show me what I'm missing, or if we're lucky some of both. :)

Grace and Consecration are two sides of the same theological coin. God gives us everything - salvation, food, love, direction, work, etc. He gives us the very air we breathe. King Benjamin spells it all out:

21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

22 And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep hiscommandments he doth bless you and prosper you.

King Benjamin reminds his people that God has given us everything, right from the start. He gave us our lives and then sustains us from day to day. He knows our needs and hears our prayers. He watches over everything. He is God! Benjamin and others in the Book of Mormon say that Christ came to save all, if we will receive it. And all will be resurrected, and brought back to see God, and will stay there, unless we reject Him. But a way is provided for all, to be created, to be sustained, to be taught, and to be saved. This is His Grace.

Second, "all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments." And of course, He blesses you again, with the same sustaining blessings. Thus, we can never "repay" what has been done for us. We become wrapped up in His outpouring of Grace all over again.

And even if we didn't keep the commandments perfectly, we can't escape Grace. Like a loving Father, God will continually bless us, or reach out to teach us, unless we turn completely away from Him and absolutely reject Him. (See verses 36-39 of Mosiah 2.) And in the meanwhile, He is still sustaining us with breath day to day. It seems we can't get away! At least not in this life.

King Benjamin then repeats himself:

23 And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.

24 And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately blessyou; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

It seems King Benjamin wants to make this very, very clear: no matter what you do, you are doing it in the context of a Graceful existence.

So, coming back to Consecration, I suppose you could say that Consecration is a response to this Grace. Once we realize that God is in charge, that everything we have is from Him, and we have nothing to boast of, and nothing we can do can repay God or cancel that indebtedness, and also that He loves us more completely and thoroughly than we can comprehend, what do we do?

King Benjamin's people fall to the earth, having seen both God's greatness and their own "nothingness." Some people have a hard time with this word, thinking it means we should have low self-esteem and hate ourselves, or else that God hates us. I don't think that meaning follows from the scriptures, however. I think the point is that we are nothing, as compared to God's power. But, ironically, it is the realization that causes us to rejoice, not despair:

12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.

You know that God loves you, and cares for you, even though you are nothing - even if you did everything right, or failed and did everything wrong, He still loves you - and remembering this allows you to recognize and be filled with His Love.

So again back to Consecration. Consecration means making something sacred - ie, making it a part of God's purposes. What was going on back in D&C 42 with the Law of Consecration was that the people recognized (or ought to have recognized) that everything they had was God's. By "Consecrating" what they had to God (or, in practical terms, to the Bishop), they were given back a stewardship that was fully recognized as God's work. They may have even been given back the exact same thing they consecrated. But their relationship changed to it. It was a way of witnessing before God that they acknowledged that all things were His anyway, and they were servants to God and not to mammon or themselves. The remainder, that was not needed for your own family, was kept to give to the poor, or to build churches, or other purposes that helped with God's work.

And this comes back to Elder Christofferson's talks, on how we in the 21st century can Consecrate our time, talents, and everything we have to God. If I'm understanding things right, it means that we change our attitude towards our time, talents and our things - it is all God's anyway, and so I will use it for His work. And, in that, I understand that God has and will support me from day to day.

Remember a few other things from King Benjamin's talk: doing all things in wisdom and order, for example. Also, King Benjamin lays out the same Zion-like attributes that Elder Christofferson lists (especially in Mosiah 4:13-19): unity (ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to livepeaceably, and to render to every man according to that which is his due), holiness (becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love), and caring for the poor (And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.)

So there's my musings on what the word Consecration means. And I'll add my disclaimer, mentioned on the sidebar, that if this doesn't quite make sense or is full of typo's, I'll blame it on the fact that my kids had to tell me about the movie they were watching (supposedly keeping them busy while I typed) about 15 times, I got 2 phone calls, and a sudden playdate was organized here at my place all during the last hour and a half. :)

So if you have a chance in between all the many things that keep you busy, let me know what you think of this reading of Benjamin and Consecration and if it has any merit (or is even coherent. :) )

Also don't forget to take a look at the BN post by jeans from 2008, who writes much more coherently than I do.

Coming soon to your hands: Daughters in My Kingdom

2011-08-23T09:28:00.007-04:00

The history of Relief Society that Sister Beck announced is complete and soon to be distributed to the members. I have heard a lot of speculation about what it would contain, but now we can read about it and even see Sis. Beck on a short video talking about it:

http://newsroom.lds.org/article/diversity-strength-mormon-women-new-relief-society-book

I found it interesting to think about the responsibility to make it both usable and applicable to women in countries around the world! The article explains the approach several times. For example:

“We needed something that would have global application and be applicable into the future, something that would appeal across cultures and languages, so it needed to be more message based rather than a typical chronological historian’s history,” President Beck said.

I was at first disappointed a little, in a "topical" history. But as I thought further, and read more of the article, I can see the reasoning. For example:

The 208-page book is organized by themes such as family, sisterhood and charity. Each chapter includes stories of Latter-day Saint women throughout history and around the world today. President Beck said the book is designed to be user-friendly for an audience that may not read much. It is also visually inviting, with every page featuring colorful photographs and beautiful artwork.

It's one thing to write a history for people in the United States. But we are a worldwide Relief Society! This poses several challenges. In addition to varying literary skills, that Sis. Beck mentioned, we also come from a variety of experience in the church (so the amount of basic church history facts varies), and a variety of cultural influences. What is important or interesting to one culture is different than another! What a challenge. I think there will be a lot of criticism of the book, which will be unfortunate. How do you write a history book with this sort of purpose?

Sis. Tanner was the one assigned to write the book. As she put it:

Tanner drew heavily on previous historical research and original documents for the book.

“This book is not necessarily meant to be a conclusive history; there are already historians who are doing that,” Tanner said. “The Relief Society presidency wanted a volume that would be accessible to the whole world, to sisters everywhere. I did have perspective on that, having seen sisters in so many circumstances and situations. The book needed to be something that every woman could read and understand and be invited into this work no matter where they are coming from.”

I think that is a good point. We do have historians doing the history in the way many were hoping this book would be done. This is a book with a different purpose, and we need to recognize that. This doesn't mean it isn't well done, important, or interesting. It was done with a great deal of thought and I think that needs to be kept in mind as we approach it.

To summarize, Sis. Beck said:

“We’ve had stories written for the historians. We’ve had stories written for the scholars. We’ve had stories written for the press. But we’ve never had the story written for the women themselves,” Beck said.

A book for women to sit down with 5 minutes or hours, and read about other women. A women-to-women book, I suppose you could say. Hm! Interesting.

So, we'll see! I'm excited to have a copy to read through! And it looks like it will be distributed free to all the members (so cool). At first I heard some assume this would be a new "manual" for RS, but it seems like it will be a helpful tool, full of stories, that can be used at any time in a talk, lesson, VT message, etc. A supplement, rather than a manual.

And, a nice supplement for our YW lessons, no?

How was Girl's Camp? (open thread)

2011-08-21T08:49:00.002-04:00

Good morning! Summer's wrapping up, and our family just moved back home. So we're finally back to our normal schedule in our normal place (including wireless internet again!), which means I get to blog again. Whew! :)

I'd like to start by simpy asking what you all learned from your Girl's Camp this year. Ideas of cool projects? Advice for planning better next year? Examples of good unit leaders (or whatever you call them in your area!)? What allowed the girls to grow, and what didn't? Advice for helping shy or left-out girls? Advice for helping YCLs (or whatever you call the older girls who help) lead well? If you had YW that went, what did they like best? What did you hear about from them that impressed you about their camp? This is an open thread that I'll add to the archive page for Girl's Camp. So, it's all yours! Comment away!

Being Keeper of the Light

2011-07-31T06:21:00.009-04:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in New England - sunny, little puffy white clouds, hot but not humid - it's the kind of day we wait for all winter. My husband and I celebrated the day by driving down to Newport, Rhode Island and attending the Newport Folk Festival. It was glorious - yachts dotting the harbor, incense and funky jewelry for sale, crowd-watching at its prime, and fantastic fantastic music. The festival takes place in Fort Adams Park, a huge Revolutionary-era stone fort reached by water taxi.

Mid-afternoon for some shade and coolness we ducked into the Museum of Yachting which had free admission for the day. I can't tell one kind of boat from another so most of the time I couldn't tell why what I was looking at was special, but then I spotted this dark, simple-looking rowboat and read its label, and this one is special - and it's one that you should know about.

This boat, named "Rescue," was given as a gift to a remarkable young woman in 1869. Her name was Ida Lewis, and she was the keeper of the Lime Rock Lighthouse in Newport Harbor starting at age 15.

Six months after her father, Captain Hosea Lewis, moved his family into the home at the lighthouse, he had a stroke and was unable to move or get out of bed. At the time, the Lewis family had four children and Ida was second-oldest at 15. She gave up her schooling to help her mother care for her father, the house, the other children, and the light. It became her responsibility to row across the harbor to take her siblings to school and to purchase supplies for the family, although she had little previous experience handling a boat (she had been noted as the best swimmer in Newport at age 14, though - probably in one of those heavy woolen swimming dresses no less). By the time she was twenty, she had been appointed keeper of the light in her own right - although she was a little slip of a thing, what the museum label describes as "small, underweight" and a "modest little woman."

Starting in 1858, when she was 16, she participated in at least 18 recorded rescues of people in the Newport Harbor; the first was of four young men whose sailboat overturned near the rock. In one case,

Early in 1867, three men were walking along the Newport shore, transporting a valuable sheep that belonged to wealthy banker August Belmont. The sheep suddenly decided to make an escape. Despite a harsh southeast wind and heavy seas, the animal dove into the harbor and swam for all it was worth. The two men found a new skiff belonging to Ida's brother and launched it in hot pursuit.

The wind-whipped waves quickly swamped the little boat, and the men found themselves fighting to stay alive. Always alert, Ida sprung into action and rescued all three. After the men were safely at the lighthouse, Ida saw the sheep, fighting against the waves to reach shore. She rowed back out, got a rope around the animal, and hauled it to safety. Source: Lime Rock Lighthouse History

In 1869 she rescued two soldiers returning to Fort Adams, which received a lot of press coverage. Ida became the most famous lightkeeper of her era (I'm not saying it's important to be famous, but I think it's notable that she received a lot of public acclaim for her unusual responsibility and so much praise for doing her job with bravery and competence). She received medals of commendation from Congress, New York State, the Massachusetts Human Societies, and even got a thirty dollar monthly pension from a fund established by Andrew Carnegie (who, along with other filthy-rich industrialists, had a "cottage" in Newport). The label on the boat reads that "Despite all the honors bestowed upon Ida she remained poised and modest;" the Wikipedia entry describes her as "distressed by all the attention." She kept the light faithfully until 1911 when she died. The building is now the home of the Ida Lewis Yacht Club.

I think Ida's story is wonderful for many reasons. It has great potential as an inspirational parable you could use in a lesson, talk, or devotional on courage, steadfastness, awareness of others needs/watchfulness, devotion to family - lots of directions it could go. The metaphors of "keeping the light" and "rescue" are ripe with possibilities. She is a fantastic role model of what young women can accomplish, even cumbered as she was in the long, heavy clothing and restrictive gender expectations of her time. I'm so glad I spotted her boat yesterday.

For more on Ida's story, see here. Lime Rock Lighthouse photo credit: wallyg

Summer News Sidebar Roundup

2011-07-26T08:20:00.006-04:00

While we've been rather quiet lately, the Bloggernacle's buzzing as usual, and I wanted to call attention to some of the highlights from our sidebar Twitter feed, for your enjoyment:

The hot weather brings out spaghetti straps and sundresses and that raises the temperature of discussion about modesty. See recent posts here and here, and podcast #43 from Mormon Matters.

It's also trek season, and that's gotten some commentators on Doves & Serpents thinking - see here and here.

Some of my kids are off at EFY this week, which I have posted about before - and a writer from the UK wonders about the costs and benefits of the program and its quasi-commercial status.

And in other news...

girls sweep the first Google Science Fair, including a 17-year old taking honors for ovarian cancer drug research

Despite all the hype about teen pregnancy (reality shows, Bristol Palin's special, etc), teen pregnancy is the lowest it's been since we started keeping track in the 1930s

RM Elizabeth Smart will become an ABC contributor on missing person stories, showing yet again her beautiful resilience in putting her life back together and being a strong voice on behalf of others

What's new in your neck of the woods?

YW's "Personal" Progress vs. RS's "Charity" Never Faileth

2011-07-08T23:06:00.006-04:00

During the symposium for Bushman a month ago in Springville, Utah, some of the comments during one of the sessions got me thinking about our YW-2-RS transition again.

(And jeans, jump in here if I'm remembering wrong, since most of this is building off of your thoughts.)

Here is the basic idea:

There is a significant difference between the way YW are taught about living the gospel and the way RS sisters experience it. Perhaps this is on purpose, perhaps not. But note that:

YW - We have "personal progress." YW are focused on their own growth and accomplishment
RS - We say "charity never faileth." RS sisters serve each other, teach each other, VT each other.

YW - We have "projects." These are planned and arranged according to the YW's available time.
RS - We are "called upon" to serve. A phone call comes with minutes or hours notice to make a meal. We are called the night before to substitute teach a lesson. Our VT sister calls us and needs to talk. RS sisters often can't plan when we will serve.

YW - We have "value experiences" and projects. YW focus on one value at a time and explore its meaning and application.
RS - We have "life experiences" I'll call it. When a RS sister helps a family, it isn't a matter of one value. In real life, all the values overlap and mix together.

So, do you see this as a disconnect that needs to be thought through and perhaps challenged, or, that the YW are being given tools to put to good use in the Relief Society? Thoughts?

Modesty: Not just about chastity

2011-06-23T09:16:00.009-04:00

Though I am woefully behind on the blogs, I finally read through the post and comments at Times and Seasons on "Stop Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM." I actually won't get into the original post much, but I did want to respond to this comment (#202 by Geoff-A):

Is modesty anything to do with the Gospel (no mention in New Testament) or is it just Utah Culture attached to the Church?

Whoa. Seriously? First of all, we can't throw out modesty so long as we have the temple and the temple garments. When I was a YW, that was actually the biggest focus: get used to dressing modestly now so you won't have to throw out your old clothes when you go to the temple. I don't think that's really a great approach, but the idea that modesty is connected to the temple garment wasn't a bad thing to tell YW. (And it certainly sounds better than much of what Julie Smith's post at Times and Seasons was complaining about.)

So yes, there is no specific mention of "modesty" - in terms of length of clothes - in the New Testament. At least not that I'm aware of! :) And I'm not sure what it means to say something "is" or "isn't" part of the gospel. The basic faith-repentance-baptism-Holy Ghost definition is a perfect "definition," but it doesn't give a list of how to live it. A whole ton of things we do aren't in the scriptures explicitly.

But, the commenter does have a good question. How much of modesty is a result of Utah culture, or "traditional values?" I imagine the way we talk about modesty does indeed have a lot to do with our traditions. It's worth asking that question with nearly everything we teach in the church: how much of this is tradition? Where can I find it in the scriptures? What is the foundation for this?

So, what does modesty mean, at its root? And how does it relate to the gospel?

Modesty, as a word, not as a "standard," means moderation. We talk about a "modest house" as a home that is nice but nothing fancy. A home that is large enough for the needs of the person or family, but thing extra. I have the connotation of a home that is small, but not too small. The reason we might say someone bought a "modest house" is to say they were being responsible. They didn't go out of their way to spend more than they had.

(I think it would be fun to teach YW about modesty with the example of a house, and using it to show how our usual definitions don't really mean what the word "immodesty" means: can you imagine a house with its roof too short, its wood uncovered, and its foundation too high off the ground? :) )

We can apply the word "modest" in the sense of "moderation" to clothing, but does that really get us any closer to why it really matters? I mean, if we are just supposed to be "moderate," then we should change our clothing habits to be moderate in whatever country we live in or whatever style is popular.

I saw a clothing at for Macy's once that really caught my attention. It had a woman in a long black coat. It said, "Modesty forbids me shouting Look At Me! Fortunately, my clothing does that for me."

Immodesty shouts: look at me! The post at Times and Seasons discussed how we usually interpret this to be a problem of: look at me in a sexual way. But this ad was interesting in that the woman was completely "modest" by our definition of modesty. She was completely "covered up." But the woman was revealing her immodest attitude: I want to be the focus of attention, and my clothes will do that for me. Though "modest" by our For the Strength of Youth standards, she was claiming she had "immodest" clothing.

Now, I think the same coat could be worn by different people, some using it for a "modest" reason and some not! Modesty to me is a symptom of our relationship to God. Why would we seek to draw attention to ourselves? There could be a whole list of reasons! We could be selfish, wanting to brag or boast. We could be insecure, hoping to distract others to our body for attention. Lots of possibilities. But I don't think that it is always necessarily sexual. Women often want to draw the attention of other women, to brag about style or wealth. Could we also call that "immodest?"

What then does it mean to be "modest?" It seems to me that the scriptures direct us to be "neat and comely" - comely, translated, attractive. We should be nice-looking! We shouldn't try to look unkempt or too plain. Clothing is one more way that we can live a "consecrated life." What would it mean to be consecrated in dress? If we are dedicating that to God, then we are hoping to give glory to God by how we dress. We should look beautiful, because we are representing God!

Susan Tanner put it this way in her talk Sanctity of the Body from 2005:

Likewise, we would keep the outside of our bodily temples looking clean and beautiful to reflect the sacred and holy nature of what is inside, just as the Church does with its temples. We should dress and act in ways that reflect the sacred spirit inside us....

If we as Saints only made temples beautiful to show off to the world that we were rich as a church, that would be a problem! The beauty isn't the problem. Even the amount of money used isn't the problem. The important part is the attitude: we make temples beautiful to represent the important work that goes on inside them.

So I imagine the same should be the same for us. We hold to certain limits due to the temple garments, but modesty goes much beyond that. We have lots of important work to do, and how we dress will communicate with others. Are we drawing attention to ourselves out of selfishness? Can we dress in a way that our appearance is nice and attractive, but doesn't draw undue attention to our clothes let alone our bodies?

What are your thoughts?

jeans presents at a symposium for Richard Bushman

2011-06-18T17:11:00.002-04:00

This morning I had the privilege of seeing our very own jeans present at a nearby conference. For Richard Bushman's 80th birthday, he got a conference as a birthday present. :) jeans presented on Mormonism's "Middle Way." Maybe we can talk her into sharing some of it here on the blog?

(And as a bonus for me, it was the first time she and I had met in person. :) )

She also got me thinking about our transition from YW to RS... Hope to post it soon. Our family moved for the summer so things won't be back to normal for me for a few months. Hope everyone is enjoying the summertime activities, including getting ready for girls camp! :) Good luck & as always, we welcome your comments, questions, and ideas!

mid-week gifts

2011-06-08T07:40:00.002-04:00

Hello, ladies. Two things for you -

1) we've just enabled mobile settings on our blog, so it should make for easier reading on iPhone, Droid, iPad, etc. You're welcome.

2) Rebecca J has a great post over on BCC about the YW2RS transition. Go there and discuss.

Have a great week!

Book Review: Caretakers of Our Common House

2011-06-04T05:30:00.004-04:00

Review of Caretakers of Our Common House: Women's Development in Communities of Faith, by Carol Lakey Hess (Abingdon Press, Nashville TN, 1997). Her book is still in print. This review was originally published in Exponent II, 22(3) Spring 1999, 18-19.

Christians reflecting on the way their communities of faith sometimes fail to nurture women is nothing new. I have also read many feminist critiques of patriarchal religious institutions, [which] write typically with a strident and confrontational tone. But Carol Hess, professor of Christian Education at Princeton Theological Seminary, has written something new under the sun--and something long overdue, in my view. Her book is a constructive critique of Christian faith communities, informed by recent scholarship on women's emotional and psychological development, but stemming from an obviously genuine, honest, and uncompromising belief in the gospel as preached by Christ and recorded in the Bible. This belief renders her critique salient, pointed, and much more useful to religious communities.

Weaving together scholarship, Biblical analysis, and anecdotes with practical advice, Caretakers of Our Common House demonstrates the potential of scripture to transform lives and communities. As a mainline Protestant, Hess does not write from a literalist tradition, but with a strong utilitarian bent that LDS readers will recognize--that is, how a scripture's message can grow into fruition by letting it work on the readers as they develop a long-term relationship with that message. This is the first book I have encountered in the feminist tradition that analyzes feminist thought in light of Christian theology and not vice versa. Hess's bluntness on this point--that God is God, that He has given us scripture through which we may access what He'd have us know, and that He can be taken at His word--lends the entire work an authority somehow different from the defensive posture many LDS books about women in the Church tend to take. I found that Hess's approach rang true with much of my experience in the Church, and it reminded me of Brigham Young's statement that wherever truth is found, it is part of the gospel we sustain and celebrate.

As Hess takes on the "unBiblical" ways in which Christian communities often let women down and the "truthful" ways in which they can support and nurture them instead, I was reminded, too, of the destructive practices we often perpetuate--out of ignorance for the most part, I'm certain--in the day-to-day running of LDS wards and stakes. Hess assumes that it is Christ's divine and perfect teachings that communities of faith try--imperfectly--to embody. She exhorts those who embrace Christ's teachings to be, as it were, less imperfect in the ways they apply doctrine to church life. Caretakers resurrects the true nature, first of women as loved creations and daughters of God, and second, of the church which was designed to be for women as much as for men, the institution through which God intended to bestow grace on his daughters equally with his sons. I found much in this rich and thoughtful book that could improve the level of relationship and caring in our own community of faith.

Caretakers opens with a detailed meditation on the all-but-forgotten story of Vasti, the queen who was punished for her assertiveness and eventually replaced by Esther. In her first chapter, "Theology and Women: Giving Our Selves Away," Hess argues that doctrines of submission and obedience and cultural parables of noble female self-sacrifice to the point of mutilation and depletion (exemplified by Shel Silverstein's popular book The Giving Tree) are readily accepted by women [but] bind them in harmful ways. She does not contend that attachment and responsiveness are inherently damaging (on the contrary, in fact, they are enriching) but that most of our current models for female being-in-the-world don't permit women to act on their own behalf. Women, although preached to about the sin of pride, are in fact more often guilty of the sin of self-abnegation and of failing to hold others accountable for injustice. Hess writes, "Giving up oneself is no more faithful to God than seeking to master oneself" (41). Both are sins against the Christian doctrines of love and truth and [are] barriers to "God's concern for human wholeness and widespread justice" (45). The "prophetic torpor" and surface pleasantries that too often substitute for genuine openness and change do far more damage than benefit, Hess contends. She does not pose this as a problem of men oppressing women either; women have been oppressors or one another in history. We transform that reality only when "we listen, hear, and really seek to learn from other women whose voices we are inclined either to dismiss or to screen for what legitimates our own framework" (52).

In the next two chapters, ("The Dance of Human Development: In Celebration of 'Sheila': and "Rebuilding Our Mother's House: Caretaking and Being in Genuine Relation"), Hess explores these ideas further by applying them to recent research on women's developmental stages. Her central thesis states that cultural narratives of female disadvantage and subjugation plus theology that over-emphasizes giving to others, often work together to harness women and define them primarily in terms of their utility to others. The danger is that the self will be swallowed up in the other, which is not what Christ meant by "losing oneself" in the service of others. Everyone must learn responsiveness to others is she is to become like Christ but not at the expense of her own identity. Hess points out that many women seem to be arrested at this self-denying "interpersonal" stage of human development. "What should be a phase in life," she writes, "becomes the definition of womanhood" (68). These "de-selfing" practices and models (including suppressing anger and negating one's own needs) ultimately deprive others of true "relationality and community" because they limit a woman's range of responses, emotions, and behaviors--as they do a man's, for that matter (36). In contrast, mature people--God being the ultimate example--are concerned with truth and justice in their relationships with others and allow themselves and others the full spectrum of human emotional capability and expression to meet those ends. They recognize that everyone is enriched when we permit ourselves to be who we really are: fully capable, multi-dimensional whole people made in God's own image.

In her fourth chapter, titled "Your Daughters Shall Prophesy: 'Safe-Houses' for Raising Girls in Families and Communities of Faith," Hess discusses eating disorders among young women, positing that they represent a form of prophetic resistance against "girl-denying" and the silencing of women's voices. She takes churches to task for not being the kind of places where young women can be their whole selves and for not doing enough to recognize the scope of eating disorders among their membership. Her description of the ways young women are continually pressured to conform to a sentimentalized femininity resurrected some painful memories of my own from growing up in the Young Women's program, of times when the potential nurturing message got lost in (what I recognize now as) philosophical differences among the leaders about the definition of a woman and her role in families and communities. Hess offers concrete and practical advice about eating disorder treatment for leaders who work with girls, and she calls for us to model and teach a revised vision of the feminine: one that is less about what women need do for others and more about what God created women capable of being. Such a vision would not diminish the roles of wives and mothers but would strengthen them as wise and considered choices among the many available to God's daughters. Churches could vividly demonstrate to young women their commitment to "family values" by caring about girls and about the justice of family life (147).

Hess continues the theme of women needing one another to help "co-build" faith communities into "safe houses" in the next two chapters, "Wrestling with Our Sisters: Together Building Our Households of Faith" and "Women and Conversational Education: Hard Dialogue and Deep Connections in Communities of Faith." The story of Leah and Rachel warns us that it does no good to pit women against one another. In particular, Hess is saddened by the animosity and polarization that sometimes arises between women who are primarily homemakers and those who work outside the home--an all-too-familiar tension in Mormon wards, I'm afraid. She calls for more tolerance and support on all sides, saying that homemaking or "staying put" does not mean staying the same, but rather (in a definition I love) "merely means staying committed to a consistent group of people through the changes." For these women, home is the journey (165). Other women are in life circumstances that call for leaving home or transforming it. Their lives call for resistance, creativity, endurance, and above all, they deserve our support. Reading the Bible in a conversational way helps us to see women in the scriptures in real, and quite divergent, circumstances. We can then make that engagement of the holy text a model for our relations as a community, moving beyond the surface veneer to achieving true peace and oneness. Her last chapter, "Caretaking Leadership: Women of Fire and Mothers in Israel," uses the account of the Israelite prophetess and judge, Deborah, to argue that women should not suppress their gifts, insights and abilities. Women are called, no less than are men, to speak authoritatively and dream expansively about the future of our particular communities. Good leaders make a place for as many as will contribute to the group's positive future.

One of the greatest services Caretakers renders is to engage recent work on gender differences and bring it to bear on religious and spiritual life. Girls and women develop and interact in ways different from men, learn more collaboratively, communicate in different language, and so on, as the work of Carol Gilligan (In a Different Voice), Deborah Tannen (You Just Don't Understand) and John Gray (Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus) have brought to popular attention in recent years. She does not consider this kind of scholarship as superficial or as fostering gender stereotypes, and she recognizes that gender is not the only barrier to understanding, but she nonetheless believes that communities of faith can be more empathetic, listen more openly, and be less complacent about reaching all their members. Her book reminded me of two other feminist critiques I have recently enjoyed. The first was the rollicking and unapologetic Where the Girls Are: Growing Up Female with the Mass Media, by Susan Douglas, which unearthed a world of ambiguous messages about women in postwar popular culture, and the second was Susan Moller Okin's reasoned book Justice, Gender and the Family, which takes on the structure and practice of family life, arguing that social justice begins with justice in individual households. What Douglas does for pop culture and Okin does for family life and social policy, Hess accomplishes for Christian churches: she offers a thoughtful and powerful case for why we can and must do better in nurturing people of both genders.

Caretakers gives us a chance to redeem for our daughters and sisters the often unsung heroines of the Bible and of Christian tradition. Hess's book is a call for women to sing those heroines and to keep "girl talking"--probing, sharing, explaining, affirming, being there for one another, and being seen and heard within our households of faith. In so doing Hess believes we will accomplish God's will for his church to the benefit of all His children.

Curriculum Matters. Especially at Church.

2011-06-03T13:00:00.005-04:00

Some musings of mine.

Before there were blogs (and yes, there was such a time), the printed Exponent II was an outlet for my reading and writing on women's issues and the Church (and I still love their blog and am happy to see it coming back into print!). While I was never a big contributor, I did send a thing or two in and got published that way. I got to thinking recently about one of my contributions which appeared in 1999 and wanted to republish it here (with permission from Exponent's editors) - partly because I still feel very much the same, and partly because that was a while ago and I wanted to revisit the essay and see how my thinking might have changed. I'll post it soon, but first - a few prefatory remarks.

The end of a college prof's semester gets a little nutty, and when I emerge on the other side of the grading pile and the finals rush, I have some space to breathe and process and reassemble. I usually find myself drawn immediately to the syllabi for the next term's classes (which might seem a little strange), plus my university runs a great several-day course-syllabi design workshop right as the semester ends, so I have some time to do some meta-thinking about teaching, learning, and what I'm trying to accomplish in my courses.

This ties into the Young Women's program because as I repeat this process every semester, I am more and more convinced that curriculum design matters. It matters tremendously, and not just in secular settings. It matters in the Church, too. Being thoughtful and intentional about what we teach, and how learners learn, is a profound and sacred act. The spaces we construct--physical and intellectual and spiritual--make a big difference in how people learn. One of my favorite quotes I picked up this semester is my new teaching mantra: "the most effective leader is not one who fills space, but one who opens it."[1]

The big buzz these days in higher education is reinventing the college curriculum around essential student learning outcomes (see here, for example). The question is not: "As I start a course, what do I want to deliver to my students?" or not even "What do they need to hear from me?"

Rather, flip that on its head. The new question is: "At the END of my course, what should my student know or be able to do?" - which (NOTE) is a student learning outcome, not an instructor teaching objective. And what you measure is not "did I teach this?" but "did they learn this?" I cannot tell you how hard this is to learn how to do. Profs are NOT trained to think this way in grad school. We are old dogs and this is a new trick.

I was much moved and provoked by the recent Mormon Matters podcast #31 that featured our own Tresa/Reese Dixon, along with Dan Wotherspoon, Joanna Brooks, and Jared Anderson, considering the reasons for religious disaffection among young Mormons and brainstorming some of the problems and possible solutions.

I think this question should be asked, discussed, revisited often, and never considered answered once & for all: as girls mature into women in the Church, what should they know or be able to do? How and where will they learn what will make them into lifelong disciples and thoughtful, caring women of faith? If one noticeable "outcome" of the Young Women's program is a precipitous drop in belief and commitment (I have not seen numbers that convince me of this, but the anecdotal evidence abounds), then how could we design and teach differently?

Remember, girls learn from observation and imitation of us. They learn from what we do NOT say (the things we remain silent about) as well as what we do say. They will process our mixed messages as well as our clear ones. Things learned by "doing" rather than "listening to," and things which are "worked for" not "handed to," are the lessons that sink the deepest and last the longest.

What do you want your girls to learn, deep down? What are your program's essential outcomes? What are your obstacles to making that happen? How will you know when you've succeeded?

Next post: my essay - its questions still relevant now, I daresay.

[1] Parker Palmer, quoted by John Tagg in The Learning Paradigm College (Anker, 2003), 338.

Why I Liked this month's New Era

2011-05-29T15:30:00.004-04:00

Want to know what I thought about this month's New Era? Loved it. Two reasons:

1) a cover with a gender-neutral message, "Conference and YOU" that was illustrated by a photograph of ALL girls. I liked that.

2) The use of QR codes throughout the magazine to link to the videos of General Conference talks. Yeah, okay, it's maybe a little gimmicky but I think the Church is working harder to make good use of current technology, social media, the interwebs, and seems to have a grasp of how members (especially its cellphone-wielding teenaged ones) might already be wanting to use smartphones for accessing devotional/scriptural material, so why not? I really liked that, too.

Although it did make me wonder: were those in the Liahona, too? Are QR codes international (I know they originated in Japan), and would people throughout the international church be familiar with them or have the capability on their phones to use them? Any of our overseas readers want to weigh in? (PS - the Church would love feedback on QRs, since it's a new feature - see here).

So - the May New Era: 2 for 2. Nice work, folks!!

Oh, and by the way? The May Friend magazine? Don't get me started. The retrogressive gendered messages are aiming younger and younger, my friends. While the New Era is getting hipper and more in tune with its target audience, the May Friend went back to the 1950s. Oh well. There's always next month.

Sister Beck on "Priesthood Power, Every Hour"

2011-05-27T22:26:00.003-04:00

I just read through Sister Beck's talk at the BYU Women's conference in April. I am again totally impressed that she can take up what is "traditional" but see it from a perspective full of insight and new life. I think she sees a whole lot more than she even lets on.

I wanted to post her thoughts on women and the priesthood, which are taken from this article on her talk:

“I’ve learned through studying the history of Relief Society that we have and live with inseparable connection to the priesthood,” Sister Beck said. No one need confuse the idea of those who hold the priesthood with the gifts, blessings, and privileges associated with the priesthood, she explained.

“Don’t confuse the power of the priesthood with the keys and offices of the priesthood,” Sister Beck said. “The power is limitless and is shared with those who make and keep covenants. Too much is said and misunderstood about what brothers have and sister’s don’t. This is Satan’s way of confusing men and women so that neither understands what they really have.”

Our responsibility, Sister Beck said, is to make sure that our homes are blessed with priesthood power, as the Primary song says, “every hour” (Children’s Songbook, 190). “It isn’t just when Dad is there. It isn’t just when Mom is there. It isn’t just when a priesthood ordination or blessing is being performed. It’s every hour as covenants are made and kept.”

When I heard that song as a kid, I thought it meant I was blessed because my dad had the priesthood and could give blessings if we needed them. I have a broader view now than I did then, but after reading her words I'm downright embarrassed. :) What does it mean, that a home is blessed by the priesthood every hour? If we really only mean that a dad could give a blessing if needed, then that's pretty weak. So could a home teacher or friend or let's just say a prayer for that matter.

If it means we have a righteous leader in the home, well for one, not every man with the priesthood is righteous. And for two, in the absence of a righteous father a woman has all the same privileges to preside and receive revelation (which says to me: it was always with the mother; that parent means parent; that parents are a team working together before God; the mom can step into the role as sole presider, without any additional setting-apart or giving of office, etc). So the blessings of revelation to guide a family are not equal with having a dad with a certain office in a priesthood.

So, those are both out. I'm ready to throw out my previous understanding. Now, what does that mean, to have a home blessed by the priesthood, every hour?

I really like Sister Beck's reading of priesthood power: it is present wherever and whenever covenants are made and kept. Are we including baptism here, or just temple covenants? I remember a visiting teaching message, though I haven't tracked it down yet, that reminded us that every gospel blessing we receive, even our very gift of the Holy Ghost we receive at baptism, is through the Melchizedek priesthood. (I suppose that's much like Elder Oaks's talk on Two Lines of Communication. In fact, that would be another interesting place to go. He said that the Melchizedek priesthood authorizes that gift as another "line of communication." I got this image of another branch coming from the same tree, or another cable being plugged into the same electrical device. Corny, I know. But I do really like the idea of our personal "line of communication" with God being having a "Melchizedek priesthood" nature about it.)

Is that gift in our homes a way of fulfilling this little Primary song?

In addition, I liked this post at The Exponent on the March 2011 Visiting Teaching message. I think she brought out some interesting points as she read through some other quotations by Sis. Beck, Sis. Thompson, and others. I think that the more we read scriptures and go to the temple, the more we realize that what we assume about the priesthood, covenants, etc. is pretty shallow, and there is a whole lot more going on!

To this end, I wonder what more we would understand about having the priesthood power in our homes, every hour, if we understood better the scriptures and the temple? At times I long for more information about women's roles (in relation to what we learn in the temple, especially) but then at other times I think we've got a whole lot sitting in front of us that we haven't even touched. (A sort of "purloined letter" - overlooked, because it's in an obvious, accessible place.)

And anyway, it seems the more we understand all this the more we realize we have a lot to do with having the priesthood power in our homes, regardless of those around us. As she put it:

"Our responsibility, Sister Beck said, is to make sure that our homes are blessed with priesthood power, as the Primary song says, “every hour”

And remember this was at a Women's Conference. She is talking to the women of the church, not the men.

I know our lessons on the priesthood are probably in the past for everyone by now, but it's something that inflects a variety of lessons and can be crucial in one-on-one teaching moments. How does this approach to "priesthood power" change your grasp on the meaning of the priesthood?

Resources for YW Lessons 20 and 21 on Missionary Work

2011-05-26T15:17:00.005-04:00

Since I might be teaching this week, I'll hold off on my own thoughts until after I teach. My plan right now is to simply ask, "What is it about our church that is actually so different?" and spend the whole time talking and thinking about that one question. I wonder what will come out of that. I'm excited. :)

And of course, there are the lds.org suggestions to check out: (Anyone have any comments on these or ideas to add?)

Discussion Questions

-What keeps you from sharing the gospel? How can you overcome these fears and concerns?

-In what ways can your good example lead someone to want to learn about the gospel?

Words of the Prophets

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Waiting on the Road to Damascus,” Apr. 2011 general conference. Consider the three paragraphs beginning with “With so many social media resources. . . .”

-M. Russell Ballard, “Finding Joy Through Loving Service,” Apr. 2011 general conference. Consider reading the three paragraphs beginning with “Another way we can serve Heavenly Father’s children is through missionary service.”

-Russell M. Nelson, “Be Thou an Example of the Believers,” Oct. 2010 general conference.

-Quentin L. Cook, “Our Father’s Plan—Big Enough for All His Children,” Apr. 2009 general conference.

Additional General Conference Talks

-Brent H. Nielson, “A Call to the Rising Generation,” Oct. 2009 general conference.

-Ann M. Dibb, “I Believe in Being Honest and True,” Mar. 2011 general Young Women meeting. Consider reading the five paragraphs beginning with “Being true also allows us to have a positive effect on the lives of others.”

Additional Resources

-True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference (2004), 104–6.

-“Idea List: Open Your Mouth,” New Era, July 2003, 29.

-Mosiah 28:3; Alma 17:2–3;38:10–15; D&C 4:5–6;18:15–16; 88:81.

-Art: Mormonad, “Sharing Time.”

-Music: “We’ll Bring the World His Truth,” Children’s Songbook, 172–73; “Go Forth with Faith,” Hymns,no. 263.

Media

“By Small and Simple Things: Sharing the Gospel,” For the Strength of Youth Media 2011 DVD: We Believe.

Accept and Act

-Pray for and seek an opportunity to share your thoughts about a standard in For the Strength of Youth with a friend of another faith this week.

-Personal Progress:Knowledge value experience 4; Good Works value experience 7.

AND, last but never least, for a more direct commentary on the lessons in the manuals themselves, check out jeans' notes from 2008:

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2008/05/lesson-3-20-understanding-missionarys.html

and

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2008/06/lesson-3-21-learning-to-share-gospel.html

Reframing the YW Values: Faith

2011-05-24T05:36:00.006-04:00

Nat Kelly on fMh is starting a series on the YW values from a progressive point of view. What think ye?

In her initial post, on faith, the word becomes an action verb--the will to move forward with courage and love that overcomes hate. She mentions Alice Paul, and shows images of the man who stood in front of the Tianamen Square tanks and a veiled Muslim woman facing down riot troops.

Kelly writes,

You may have heard that faith means accepting what you’re told, even if you see no rational reason to believe it. This is a rather shallow and diluted version of faith.

Faith is not accepting something even if you see no reason to. It is not taking another person’s word for absolute truth. It is not stifling questions or discomfort or doubt because you feel obligated to make yourself believe.

What I hope for when I talk to you about faith is a faith that transcends dogma and regulation. What I hope for when I urge you to have faith is a faith based on action and hope.

She ends with: "There is much that needs to be changed in this world. We are told that if we have enough faith, we can move mountains. Perhaps in our time, mountains aren’t what really needs moving. A world filled with violence and oppression, with so much potential for beauty, is what really needs to be moved. If you choose love, and you have faith in yourself, you can be powerful enough to start that motion."

Go there and discuss, but I'd also love to hear your comments here. The early comments encouraged NK not to forget the role of the Savior as the object of faith (which the two photographs probably don't help us with). Your thoughts? What's helpful about this approach is simply the way it's presented, that acknowledges the value's richness without diluting its doctrine. That approach could be adopted by any YW leader or teacher even without being a "resistant reader" of the manual's text. As I always said to my Laurels: a questioning faith is an engaged faith and an engaged faith is real faith.

Cheers on the first in this series, I look forward to more.

Looking for advice: How can we teach YW about temple marriage, knowing some will end up without a covenant-keeping spouse?

2011-05-15T08:45:00.011-04:00

This commenter asked a very, very serious question. So, I decided to pose the question here in a new post. I am seeking your thoughts and advice on this question:

Anonymous said...

How would you go about teaching YW about temple marriage and still prepare them for the possibility that even if they do marry in the temple their spouse may choose to either go inactive or leave the church entirely. Marriage in the temple doesn't guarantee that the spouse will do their part, even on earth. But if that happens, they shouldn't feel like they have to up and leave the marriage. I think this is something that several of the YW will have to face.

For example, the upcoming temple marriage lesson has the concept of the "sacred triangle". What if one of those sides disappears. How do you teach them to keep that kind of marriage intact and strong while still remaining faithful to their covenants?

Can we as adults sustain the youth in their callings?

2011-05-09T08:55:00.009-04:00

The secret - the overlooked, underused, under-appreciated secret to a successful Young Women's program is councils. The recent handbook broadcasts have focused a lot on the ward councils, and most of those principles will apply to a YW ward presidency meeting, or, as is the subject of this post, a class presidency meeting.

A council is an opportunity for people to get together and actually live out where the scriptures say, "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20 and D&C 6:32). When that council opens in prayer and that president asks for input, the council is opening up a space for revelation to come! Of course, this all works better if all involved are seeking the spirit (right then, and in their life generally) and if they have been taught about what a council is and how it works.

Your young women have every bit of a chance to receive revelation in their own meetings as a Stake YW presidency or a Bishopric do in theirs. A girl with a calling, who has been called, sustained, and set apart, is blessed with that right to revelation. Unfortunately we all too often think of young women callings as "practice" callings, while they sort of shadow the adult leaders. They have real callings with real responsibilities, and we ought to let them live up to this potential! They have the promises, and they can do it - if we teach them, sustain them, and let them get to work.

We had a recent stake training where they emphasized the handbook's discussion of the youth roles. They taught us these 10 things about our relation to a young women class presidency meeting:

1. Conducted by the youth, you are there in the background, ready to help but not leading the meeting.

2. They NEED an agenda

3. Opening prayer – invites spirit as they discuss sacred topics

4. Confidential

5. Class LIST – no one overlooked

6. Let them plan, but guide. Perhaps their idea is good for some, but not for others.

7. Make sure to talk about those who are always there, not just those who are less active. Every one has needs. EVERY GIRL. Prayerful. Does she have a need? What is it?

8. Discuss needs first, then plan mutuals that fit needs! They plan themselves!

9. Teach secretaries to have an agenda, keep assignments. Teach presidents to communicate with secretary.

10. Teach habits of: planning, focus on needs, write assignments, report back to leaders

What other thoughts do you have about helping youth (and training adults to let them) take up their leadership roles and work through real revelation in their callings?

The temple marriage lesson (YW Lesson 18 Manual 3)

2011-05-06T16:30:00.004-04:00

Having a unit all on the temple is nice; you can talk about several different aspects of the temple and/or build on lessons throughout the month.

For this lesson, I would (as always!) recommend using the links on the sidebar at the new lds.org manual page. Though the lesson outline is old, the sidebar links come from March/April 2011, 2010, 2008, etc.

We had a discussion recently here at Beginnings New on marriage, and some of that might be interesting to revisit:

Teaching YW about marriage: http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/04/marriage-question-continued.html

Thoughts on why more people aren't getting married, or if this is really a myth, and other thoughts: http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-arent-people-getting-married.html

And last but not least, the link to jeans' notes from 2008:

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2008/05/lesson-3-18-temple-marriage.html

And, if I may, I'll also quote SilverRain's comment from 2008:

"One thing I have come to realize is that when we are married in the Temple, we promise our spouses nothing. All our covenants and promises are made with God. Therefore, the absolute most important relationship to work on is God's, and then find someone to marry who has done the same. If you can do that, lots of problems in marriage will be healed."

Totally agree.

A Mother's Day present you'll want to keep

2011-05-02T18:03:00.004-04:00

My friends over at WAVE have been hard at work over the last few months, and we're thrilled to share our efforts with you in time for Mother's Day.

Completely free for download, Words of Wisdom is a collection of quotes for LDS women. We've chosen quotes from women and about women to honor our female voices and experiences, and to learn more about our own history. As I read through these selections, I was overwhelmed by the spirit and wisdom shown by all of our leaders, but particularly our General Auxiliary leaders who we don't hear from as often. The Lord has blessed us with their counsel, and it's been a privilege to pay closer attention to it over the last few months.

We rushed to make the Mother's Day deadline, hoping that we could offer it to wards to pass out instead of a carnation or a bookmark. Spread the word, send it to your bishops, and give thanks for the example of these women of God.

Teaching about the Endowment - YW Lesson 16 Manual 3

2011-04-27T16:41:00.008-04:00

First off, I enjoyed reading jeans' post from 2008. It looks like a great way to introduce everything from the history of temples to what ordinances are performed there.

I also taught this lesson in 2008 to a combined YW group. I got lucky, because the week before the YW president did an overview much like jeans did, and I got to hear all the responses. I heard their questions to each other, saw their nods or their blank looks, and realized that they knew very little about the temple, especially the endowment.

So as a suggestion, it might be helpful to find out, in some way, what their understanding of the temple is so far.

My girls back then knew mostly that it was a holy place, blessings came from going, we did work for the dead, and you could get married there for eternity. And of course they had done baptisms there. But most of them hadn't even really heard the word "endowment." I don't think any of them had heard the word "initiatory." And of course they all knew that marriages were performed there and that it was important to get married there. But the significance of what a sealing means, in relation to the endowment, was something they had never been taught. It was easy for them to see that "there's more to the temple than baptisms and sealings, and you get blessings for that too." That's all good and important, but isn't there more that we can be teaching YW?

So, for what it's worth, here's the basic idea of what I gave to my girls:

1. Told story of creation, Adam and Eve, and Fall.

2. Made it very clear that they couldn't go back to the Garden of Eden, where God's presence was.

3. Angels stand guard.

4. Lots of possible scriptures to go to. I like the Book of Moses, of course, but also Alma 12:21 (they ask Alma, How can we get back if there are angels there? and Alma's response, including verse 29, says that angels came to teach, and then 29-34, explains that God sent angels to teach them how to "enter into my rest.")

5. What I did now was explain that in the temple, we learn how to get back to God's presence. There are things we need to know to get past that angel guarding the way. There are commandments that have been taught to Adam, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, and Joseph Smith that we need to know too. That is why the temple is so important.

6. Then I think I quoted Brigham Young's famous description of the endowment: “Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell”

7. I wanted to reiterate as much as I could that the temple does NOT = marriage. We spend so much time in YW telling girls - "Be worthy to go to the temple someday" and equate that entirely with marriage. Marriage is one thing. Sealing is another concept. And the endowment is quite another!! All members should and can have their eyes on the temple because of the knowledge, priesthood, and Spirit that is there.

I like teaching the endowment this way: set up the situation with Adam and Eve, read Alma 12, and then show that the endowment fills in the gap between being outside the garden and being back in the presence of God. The endowment ends with symbolically re-entering God's presence. I think it's fine to tell them that, and show them pictures of the celestial room at that point. It makes the endowment make a lot more sense to me and I think it's a good way to set them up for whatever else they hear in the church or read in the scriptures about the temple.

And, I'll say it again, the temple shouldn't be just a place to get married. The temple is a place of sacred knowledge - it is God's house. And if we want to really prepare these YW for celestial, eternal, happy marriages, then we'd better get them ready first for the covenants they will make in the endowment and the blessings they will receive in the initiatory. Then, with those in place, they can truly take on the work and glory of a marriage meant for eternity.

From Adam to Abraham: Blessings of the House of Israel (YW Lesson 15, Manual 3)

2011-04-20T13:51:00.006-04:00

So, welcome to one of the vaguest yet most foundational topics in the church! :)

We don't talk much about this topic - directly. It isn't uncommon for us to describe us as "Israel" or to say we have an "Abrahamic Covenant." Many of our hymns mention Israel or Jacob. We know that we have some sort of covenant. But what this all amounts to hardly ever discussed, at least not in any detail!

And this goes for youth lessons and adult lessons. What, we have a lesson the Abrahamic Covenant once every few years? At least every four, when we do Old Testament in Sunday School? And everyone is a bit confused, but we just repeat what we said 4 years ago? :) Anyway, it's certainly not a common topic!

And it seems like even the scriptures don't lay it out directly. We have lots of hints and details and references. It's almost like they assume we have some basic knowledge that we're missing. (Nephi says that when the plain and precious things are removed from the Bible, they also removed "many covenants.")

But, by putting together what scriptural references we do have, it seems to me (and this is my personal take on it) that this "Abrahamic Covenant" was also given to Adam, passed on through Enoch and Noah, and on to Abraham. Abraham says (in the book of Abraham) that he sought after the blessings given to the fathers. (Coming down from the first father, even Adam.) In Abraham, then, it seems we have a restoration or a new dispensation of a certain set of blessings or a covenant that have been around since Adam.

What appears to be different with Abraham is that rather than passing it from father-to-a-chosen-son only, through Abraham all the "families" (read nations or clans here?) may be blessed. Those who receive the gospel share it with others, who join into Abraham's family and share it with others, who join in and share it, and so on. Rather than a straight line, we have a branching out to all the world. So we do missionary work and temple work to gather as many into Abraham's family, and thereby receive this same blessing given to him, to Adam, to Noah, etc.

(Incidentally, it appears this set of blessings may have everything to do with the temple, which is what we'll go on to teach in the next lessons.)

That seems to be a basic idea of how Abraham fits into things. If you want to see how I got to that, here's the long version, going through a bunch of scriptures. Now who knows if I'm reading them right, but it's a good try I hope. :)

So, additional thoughts, ideas, suggestions, or questions on this lesson?

Also remember to check out Manual 3 page for our archive of lesson notes. Here is the link to Lesson 15 - an interesting interview with a Jewish college student who read over the lesson and offered commentary!

Now on Facebook!

2011-04-08T16:53:00.003-04:00

You already knew we were on Twitter, and now we've got our own Facebook page, too! Come like us there (and thanks, ks!)

The marriage question, continued...

2011-04-07T17:11:00.005-04:00

Thank you again, each of you, for your comments to my post. I really trust that the Beginnings New community is one of the best places to discuss these sorts of issues.

I want to keep this going, if possible, to the point of proposing specific ways of teaching marriage to YW that would account for these things we've discussed.

I'm right about the same age as many of you (30) so I also agree that such things has threat of divorce, lack of financial stability, and a fairy-tale version of marriage from YW lessons are a big problem. They caused me to ask a lot of questions. And while I went to BYU, and was around plenty of LDS people, after a while I didn't expect to get married before I left. I had a hard time finding people who were very thoughtful, to be honest. People who took the gospel seriously, who actually were honest in their keeping of the standards, etc.

At one point I completely gave up (due to superficial people in my ward, a hard job, and a bad roommate situation) and decided to move and just focus on my relationship with God. It was only then that I found my soon-thereafter-to-be husband, but I am so glad I found him when I was focused on God. I had "found myself," as some of you put it. Or I suppose I knew who I was, but I had decided one and for all to not "give myself up" (as in, my dedication to God) in order to date and marry.

So what do I wish I could tell YW myself? (And this is where I want you all to jump in and add to or change this-)

I want to tell them two things. One, life doesn't begin or get easier when you get married. It does change. I'm grateful for how it's forced me to change. But, if your world revolves around your spouse you've missed it. Marriage is a "joint quest" - a side by side adventure. You both need to be completely committed to God and to the covenants in the temple. In other words, your life together shouldn't be that much different than life without each other. Certainly in some ways, your work in the Kingdom is expanded and multiplied, but in other ways, it's severely limited. (I'm not just me; my calling is affected by 5 other people! I can't just jump in the car and go to the temple or to a fireside. I've got a nursing baby and 3 other small kids who need a babysitter. It's not an excuse, but it does get complicated!) (I had a single friend who told me once they didn't want to go to the temple regularly now because it would be "easier" after they got married!)

So, anyway, it's a change. But whether you are 18 or 55, life is exciting because the gospel is true, and God has a work for us to do. And that fact doesn't change. The only reason to get married in my head is if you happen to find someone who is as committed as you are, and by conversations and experiences you realize you can both serve in the Kingdom better together than you can alone. (And to be honest, I think that is hard to find!)

And two, along with that, the reason to have a family and live with a family is not because it's "fun," though there are fun moments; it's not because it will make you a "better person," though it will, like any life experience, force you to make decisions that can potentially change you; and it's not because God asked me to do it and that's what members do, though it is something we teach as important in the eternities: it is because God has called us to work in the Kingdom to teach, edify, strengthen, and save. I can work with a YW once or twice a week and make a little headway, but to have a kid in my home for hours and hours every day means I can really do something effective! And in that sense the work in and out of a family is the same, just in different contexts.

So on the other end of things, I see so many people who get married, have kids, then get completely stagnant. They got married because that was what they thought they should do next, and now they look around like, "So, now what? That's it?" Marriage and kids are hard, it tries patience, it costs lots of money, and those sacrifices are not the "fun" they thought they would be. So they end up bored and depressed. There can be so much joy in marriage and family, but how many are partaking of it? They just aren't that happy, and aren't engaged in the work at home or in the ward.

Sometimes I think we do a disservice to a ward by sending the YSA to their own ward. I'd love to see more YSA stay in the wards, embrace this work without reserve, and show us all how it can be done! :)

But anyway, I think what was said by Gdub and Keri can often apply very well to both young single adults and young married adults: they don't have a clue what life is about, what marriage is about, what the work of the Kingdom is about.

So whether this misunderstanding leads to overlooking the contribution of our faithful young single adults, to weaker marriages, or to a smaller pool of people even worth dating, what are we teaching that is causing all this and what can we do to change it?

Why aren't people getting married?

2011-04-06T08:34:00.006-04:00

So, I'm sure no one missed it, but there were at least 3 talks about marriage.

Apparently they are a bit worried about the young single adult group in the church, as well as the many marriages that aren't doing as well as they could.

The question I am left with is: When a YSA avoids marriage, purposefully or indirectly, what is it that causes her or him to avoid it?

I realize there will be situations when, despite every effort and desire on someone's part, marriage does not come. God has some other plan for now. But, this isn't likely to be the case in general, and it's also often not something an individual can know for sure is the case.

So aside from that situation, why are there so many YSA not getting married right now? Are there misunderstandings? Fears? Are most of these situations purposeful? (I'd rather not have kids, I'd rather hang out with friends, or focus on my career, etc.) Or are most frustating? (I'm depressed I'm not married yet, I can't find someone to marry, or no one will marry me and I can't figure out why)

The concerns expressed in conference made me think mostly of the fears that come at the crucial decision-points in relationships:

1. Hanging out vs. dating. Just hanging out will never give you a chance to pursue real conversation with someone to see what they are really about. You have to decide to be with someone in a one on one or at least two on two situation. You have to decide to let someone get to know you, too.

2. Dating vs. courting. You can go on lots of dates, but never pursue a person. By pursue, I don't mean "catching;" I am thinking more like following out an idea to see what comes of it. Following out a friendship to dating to courting means seeing who a person really is. (i.e., courting is not just more dating and hanging out. It means learning and deciding and figuring out a person's priorities, interests, values, etc.) It means admitting all this fun might lead to a marriage, and it's time to start seeing if this is the sort of worthy, happy person we want to spend forever with.

3. Courting vs. engaged. I wonder if this isn't the hardest part. A girl or a guy might enjoy having a boyfriend or girlfriend, and may be fine pursuing this single-dating relationship for some time. But getting from that to a commitment - that's the hard step.

But what exactly is it that is so hard? Is it fear of making a wrong choice? Does it just seem like too big of a lifestyle change? Is the responsibility? Is it the thought of children? What is it about this moment that gets so many YSA hung up? (Again, I'm not dismissing the Spirit here - of course the Spirit might direct a person to cut things off here or at any time. I'm focusing on why so many choose to avoid this step or are afraid at this point.)

Are they looking for a sign? I think of the "road to Damascus" talk on testimony - are YSA waiting on the road, and too many never make it down the road of marriage because they are waiting there for an experience that proves to them that this is the right person to marry?

(As a sidenote, I found that talk on Paul very interesting, in light of Elder Scott's talk a few years ago on the Supernal Gift of Prayer - in his talk, he said that sometimes we don't know what to do, and don't feel an answer to prayer, but that we can proceed with confidence that God will not let us go "too far" down a path that's not for our benefit. I think of Paul doing what he thought was right, and then as soon as he was shocked out of it, he was humble and ready to do whatever the Lord asked him to do. He had chosen something and was pursuing it, and God did not let him go "too far" before He taught him clearly what He wanted him to do.)

4. Engaged vs. married. This of course has many of the same questions as the last point. Obviously, there will be important times where the Spirit will say "NO!" and those ought to be followed! But how many have backed out because of fear?

I bring these up because I almost backed out of dating, courting, and engagement several times! I got afraid. And when I got afraid, the pleasant, happy, spirit-filled moments were gone, and I was left to myself - and in that state, it was easy for me to feel unsure. Fortunately, I was dating someone who was open to long walk/talks about anything and everything, so these concerns did get talked through (over and over again) and I thank Heaven every day for a man who is so loving and wise! But I can see all the fears and concerns people have. There are genuine ones that I don't want people to overlook and just "force" their way beyond them. But how does a YSA know what a genuine concern is?

And of course, what are we doing to teach our YW so that they will be better prepared for this point in life when it comes?

I remember a talk Elder Holland gave when I was at BYU. It was titled "Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence." Here's an excerpt:

In LDS talk that is to say, "Sure it is tough--before you join the Church, while you are trying to join, and after you have joined." That is the way it has always been, Paul said, but don't "draw back," he warned. Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had. That tenacity is what saved Moses when the adversary confronted him, and it is what will save you.

I suppose every returned missionary and probably every convert within the sound of my voice knows exactly what I am talking about: appointments for discussions canceled, the Book of Mormon in a plastic bag hanging from a front-door knob, baptismal dates not met. And so it goes through the teaching period, through the commitments, through the baptism, through the first weeks and months in the Church, and more or less forever. At least the adversary would pursue it forever, if he thought he could see any weakening of your resolve or any chink in your armor--even if it is after the fact.

This opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage. (Now I am back to those returned missionaries.) I would like to have a dollar for every person in a courtship who knew he or she had felt the guidance of the Lord in that relationship, had prayed about the experience enough to know it was the will of the Lord, knew they loved each other and enjoyed each other's company, and saw a lifetime of wonderful compatibility ahead--only to panic, to get a brain cramp, to have total catatonic fear sweep over them. They "draw back," as Paul said, if not into perdition at least into marital paralysis.

I am not saying you shouldn't be very careful about something as significant and serious as marriage. And I certainly am not saying that a young man can get a revelation that he is to marry a certain person without that young woman getting the same confirmation. I have seen a lot of those one-way revelations in young people's lives. Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It's been done before. Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

Beautiful! And of course, we need to add: once a couple is married, they need to not cast away their confidence then either. God will bless them through any new hard moments or times of decision, and trust is needed as much then as in any other time.

What are your thoughts on teaching YW about the processes from hanging out to dating to courting to engaged to married? What is keeping so many YSA from getting married?

Posts on the new handbook: 10.3 "Ward Young Women Leadership"

2011-04-05T08:08:00.004-04:00

Welcome back, hope everyone enjoyed General Conference!

Depending on where you are from, your ward may have a stable, long-standing YW program where the callings of YW President, secretary, class leaders, etc., have been in place for decades or longer.

Or you may be in a place that is growing, that only recently has had enough members to fully implement the program. Or you may still be working on a small-scale version.

Regardless of the size or history of your program, let's take a look at the handbook and see what may surprise us and help us approach our callings with a clearer vision.

Link to handbook, section 10.3

Since my calling right now is as a secretary, I'll start there.

What is a secretary? When I was growing up in Oregon, a secretary in a class presidency meant... just another person in the room, usually. We had our special "binders" with our callings labeled on the front, but there really wasn't much difference between being a counselor and being a secretary. I suppose we probably kept the roll, but that was about it (if we even did that!). I vaguely remember making routine phone calls, but I really don't remember if I did that as a secretary or as a president.

So what is a secretary? Even as an adult, whenever I've served in a presidency (YW and Primary) the secretary is again, mostly, another counselor. Or, let's say, a counselor PLUS roll-taker. (In some wards the secretary in Primary takes a turn at sharing time, even.)

So perhaps as members we tend to see a secretary as a "half calling." Taking roll isn't that hard, so let's use the secretary as a 3rd counselor. They basically have a calling and a half, that way. They feel more involved, and a President has more help. Good all around.

But what is a secretary meant to do? Here is a summary (based on the description from the YW section of the handbook):

Be the behind-the-scenes, backbone of the presidency meeting situation. Have agendas ready to help things stay focused. Keep track of the conversation, transfer it to printable meeting minutes to hand out, and checks up on assignments of various kinds. This means the presidency can go about their particular assignments without worrying about everything that needs to be done. It means that in the meeting, they can focus on counseling, and not on writing everything down they need to remember.
Rolls. Try to have the class secretaries keep the weekly roll, and then compile the information to give to the ward clerk.
Because a secretary takes roll, she can keep an eye on who isn't coming. She also should have records on hand with birthdays and see who is coming up into each class soon.
Personal Progress. In our stake, wards have "Personal Progress Leaders" but I've heard through the grapevine that they are getting rid of these to follow the handbook more closely. So, secretaries will handle this record-keeping as well. There is a "Young Women Personal Progress Tracking Sheet" to keep track of both Personal Progress and things like leadership callings.
It would be appropriate to give this sheet to the Bishop for him to look over when he conducts interviews with the girls.
She helps YW presidency deal with budget matters.

There's the overview.

In much of this, the secretary "helps" the YW presidency - helps with budget, helps with personal progress, etc. A secretary may or may not be assigned to do much of any of these things.

So, what turns a secretary calling into a full calling, and not a half calling?

I'm still figuring this out, but lately I've been offering my help as a "researcher." If they know they want this or that sort of activity, I'll go do the research and give it to them to decide about. If a YW wants to head up this sort of New Beginnings, but needs help with this or that part, I'll research and get back to them. That way the responsibility for receiving revelation still rests with them, as it should, but I can ease their load. (And I hope to be an influence for good by seeking out thoughtful, inspiring material.)

I'm also trying to get an agenda ready, even if it's minutes before the meeting. I do take notes and email them out. I've been told that if you start to take on the role of a secretary, then they'll get used to the idea of a secretary and start to use you as one.

What are your thoughts? Those of you who are YW presidents, what kind of secretary would you like to have? If you have been a secretary before, what advice can you share with us?

Young Women General Broadcast, Sat 3/26 (Live Tweeting)

2011-03-26T20:14:00.011-04:00

Live tweeting here: http://twitter.com/#!/beginningsnew

Watch it here: http://lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng

Thoughts? Impressions? Feel free to comment!

PS: really interesting discussions going on about the broadcast here and here

What does it mean to say we have a "Legacy"? (YW Lesson 14, Manual 3)

2011-03-25T11:36:00.003-04:00

So part of lesson 14 talks about our "legacy" and what we want our family legacy to be. (See for example this question from the sidebar: "What are you doing now that will help bring honor to your family?")

I of course see the value in passing down our faith to future generations! But how to we separate the importance of teaching and living the gospel, from family honor? How do we live in order to pass on faith, and not habits? We want to be a good example, but we don't just want the actions copied for "family honor." For example, we don't want to teach sons they should go on missions because their fathers did. We don't want an attitude such as "I went to Harvard and my parents went to Harvard and their parents went to Harvard, so you better go to Harvard because that's what this family does!" to be how we talk about the gospel!

So how do we separate social/family pressure for an honorable Legacy from the real work of teaching and passing on the gospel?

What are your thoughts?

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A few resources come to my mind:

YW Lessons 12, 13, 14 on the Priesthood - What questions on scriptures do you have?

2011-03-15T07:59:00.007-04:00

Time to teach about the Priesthood - and this may be a time for some serious discussion on scripture.

First, though, I want to make sure to link to this very good analysis by jeans:

Overall thoughts on teaching YW about the priesthood (3/22/08)

This post captures many of my own thoughts on women and the priesthood - a delicate topic for many people.

jeans also did posts on each lesson, archived on our Manual 3 page.

For whatever reason, I find all the scriptures on the Abrahamic Covenant fascinating. They seem to be scattered throughout the scriptures, but in the end are the foundation of how the Lord is going about his work.

As I find posts on these scriptures or talks on new.lds.org, I'll add the links to this post.

So use this post as a chance to get out all your questions on the scriptures about the priesthood.

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Resources (this will be updated as I find more)

Sidebars with recent conference talks for each of these lessons
A series of interviews with Elder Perry - 6-minute video interviews on the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood (see YW lesson 12), on the priesthood's role in families and how men should support women and mothers (see YW lesson 13), and on the restoration of the priesthood (see YW lesson 14).
Each of the above pages with those interviews also has a list of related talks or scriptures for further reading, so check those out too!
Elder Oaks "Two Lines of Communication" from Oct 2010
Elder Oaks "Priesthood Authority in the Family and the Church" from Oct 2005
Elder Eyring "Faith and the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood" April 2008

YW Lesson 10: Encouraging Enjoyable Family Activities (Manual 3)

2011-03-08T13:30:00.003-05:00

In continuing with the family theme, this lesson is about "encouraging enjoyable" family activities (as opposed to un-enjoyable ones?) :) As always, I recommend the sidebar at new.lds.org. Going to President Uchtdorf's talk on relationships would certainly be a good fit!

And the notes from jeans from 2008 have some activity ideas from her and from some of you who commented back then.

And feel free to add more ideas to this post or to the lesson notes!

YW Lesson 9: "Encouraging Family Unity" (Manual 3) - Practical Suggestions & Family Councils

2011-03-03T12:25:00.004-05:00

If any of you are new to this site, you can click on the "Manual 3" link at the top of the page and it will take you to all of the archived posts that jeans has done for the past 3 years. It will also have a link to the new.lds.org lesson page too.

First, here are jean's notes, trying out an "Ask a Laurel" approach for the questions in the lesson. And, don't forget the beloved sidebar suggestions at new.lds.org (updated help! fantastic! maybe we could all encourage this by writing a note to the people putting them up by clicking on the feedback link and saying thanks!)

Here are some thoughts I put together on some resources for practical suggestions (originally posted elsewhere) followed by some thoughts on what it means to have a family council (also posted elsewhere originally):

I see the logical flow from the last lesson to this one: we set the standard of an eternal family. Now, since we aren’t there yet, what can we do to increase that sort of life?

I both like and dislike that approach, but I see the merits in it and it does flow from the last lesson.
Speaking of which, at Beginnings New, jeans posted notes on Lesson 8 and being sensitive to girls from various family situations. I appreciated her concerns, and all of the thoughtful comments on that post.
And I see the manual opening up this direction itself. For example, this paragraph says:

Explain that all families are not united. Perhaps some of the young women in the class wish that their family members felt more love for each other and that there was less contention in their homes. Even families who seem to love each other often have times when they need to work harder to be united.

In the Worldwide Broadcast on Raising a Righteous Posterity a few years back, Elder Holland gave a parable of a shirt pattern. The idea was that when he was a kid, his mom didn’t have money to buy patterns, so she would guess by looking at a shirt. Then she would use her guess to make her own pattern. Then she was making patterns from patterns, which didn’t always work so well. The comparison was to our talk of families in the church:

Furthermore, we know that others in our audience and in the Church are not now married, nor do some have an intact family fitting the ideal we regularly refer to in the Church. Please be assured we are fully aware of the many different circumstances that exist among our members.
… Let me use a parable that I hope can make this point, whatever your marital or family circumstance. For lack of a better title, I call it “The Parable of the Homemade Shirt.”
… Now, I hope this helps you understand why we talk about the pattern, the ideal, of marriage and family when we know full well that not everyone now lives in that ideal circumstance. It is precisely because many don’t have, or perhaps have never even seen, that ideal and because some cultural forces steadily move us away from that ideal, that we speak about what our Father in Heaven wishes for us in His eternal plan for His children.
Individual adaptations have to be made as marital status and family circumstances differ. But all of us can agree on the pattern as it comes from God, and we can strive for its realization the best way we can.
We who are General Authorities and general officers are called to teach His general rules. You and we then lead specific lives and must seek the Lord’s guidance regarding specific circumstances.

This was a wonderfully straightforward yet sensitive beginning to that broadcast.

That broadcast could really be milked for any of these lessons on the family. Remember that incredible roundtable discussion with Elder Holland, Elder Oaks (who grew up with a single mom), Sis. Beck, Sis. Tanner, and Sis. Lant?? It could definitely be used for this lesson on unity. Look at some of the subheadings for ideas (such as “Come and Dine” on having family meals together).

Another resource in improving family life could come from “Daughters of God,” by Elder Ballard. His talk was directed to young moms and the pressures they sometimes feel. He talked about how family members could help their mothers. I thought this part was cute, simple, but honest:

The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.
The last question: What can the Church do?
There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).

I know that in our home, if we as parents are stressed, the whole family feels it. We are less patient with the kids, and with each other. I remember one story where a kid (I think it was the Holland’s?) saw that her mom was stressed and said, “Mom, it’s that time. Go get Daddy and get out on a date!” When kids put a little effort into helping their parents, it usually goes a long way to helping them. And when parents are happy and focused, the whole family is blessed. (Certainly in my case, with little kids, but I imagine the same is true with older kids?)

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So, the question that remains with me now is: Why family unity?

Obviously, this is a good thing, but what exactly is the significance of it? Is it just getting along? Is it evidence that we are doing ok in the eternal realm? Is is a commandment of an “ideal” state that we’ll never actually reach but we’ll get better at?

What constitutes unity in a family anyway? Are we talking about never fighting? Are we talking about always agreeing about what movie to watch or what treat to buy? Are we just hoping that there isn’t major contention? What does unity mean here?

I wonder if we shouldn’t look at the recent talk of councils in the church as one idea of what this “unity” amounts to. Elder Ballard wrote a wonderful book titled: Counseling with Our Councils: Learning to Minister Together in the Church and in the Family. He opens up the idea of what a “council” is, and how it is the basic means of revelation to push forward the church. He discusses this idea in multiple settings, including ward council, stake meetings, a local presidency meeting, and even a family council. By the end you see the principles of a council displayed dozens and dozens of times and come away with a new understanding of “counselor,” “president,” and “a council.” It’s such a eye-opening book for any leader on what the potential of a council is. It is not a place for trivial calendaring. As Pres Packer said (and Elder Kerr quoted): “It takes a pretty good meeting to be better than no meeting at all.”

I wish I could just type out his whole chapter on family councils. He shares several stories that manifest the potential of a family council. He suggests there could be several forms of a family council: husband and wife, a mom and a daughter, parents with an older child, or the entire family together. As in all councils, the group discusses freely and openly. They gather thoughts and research to bring to the meeting. And in the end, whoever has the stewardship over the group seeks through the Spirit the direction to follow out.

The basic premise, though, is so plain yet so profound. D&C 6:32 says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, as I said unto my disciples, where two or three are gathered together in my name, as touching one thing, behold, there will I be in the midst of them—even so am I in the midst of you.” And this promise also applies, says Elder Ballard, to a family.

Today I also came across this interview with Elder and Sister Ballard from 2003 called, “Family Councils: A Conversation with Elder and Sister Ballard.” Here is one excerpt:

Siblings can also be a great help. Older children can become mentors, tremendous assets, if the father and mother will use the council system. In this way, a family is much like a ward. If a bishop knows how to involve his Relief Society, elders quorum, and Young Women president, they can make a huge difference in getting the work done in a ward. Father and mother need to see their children as mentors to each other. That way, the power of the family council is put to work.

As you may have noticed, I love compiling resources from the many fantastic-but-overlooked talks and broadcasts, especially ones from the last 10 years. Another example is what was said during the roundtable discussion during the 2010 broadcast on the new handbook:

Elder Bednar: I think we have the mistaken notion that every element of revelation coming to the ward has to come through the bishop. By virtue of his keys, he has to acknowledge it and affirm it, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be the only vehicle through whom it comes. So in that council, as you have that spirit of unity and act under the influence of the Spirit, the contributions of all of the council members add elements to the inspiration.
So the council doesn’t decide. This is not just participation in decision making. It’s an inspired pattern that the bishop, by virtue of the keys, has to direct. But he doesn’t have to receive every jot and tittle of the revelation.
Elder Ballard: Perfect. Good example.
Elder Holland: One of those cultural issues with which we’re all familiar that was addressed head-on—not by design, just by spontaneity and by inspiration—is the fact that those women were talking. Those women were engaged. We sometimes have not been as inviting or as encouraging or as outreaching to the women sitting in the council as we should be. And I thought those women were terrific. We’ve been in enough councils with Sister Julie Beck that we know how terrific she is. So if anybody thinks that’s an issue, let’s get past that one. We’ve got to have the help of the women.
Elder González: May I add something? This principle we have seen goes beyond ward councils and even a Church administration, because those principles can be used in family life. Listening to sisters and wives and children is part of those principles. That brings unity to the Church, integrity in policy everywhere.
Elder Ballard: From the council of the First Presidency to the Quorum of the Twelve, which is a council; to the seven presidents of the Seventy, which is a council; to the Seventy who work in their various Area Presidencies, which are in a council; into the stake, where there’s a council; to the ward, to the quorum, to the home—the council system works.

Another important resource for thinking this through in a family situation would be Elder Oaks’ talk ”Two Lines of Communication” from October 2010. For example:

A final example applies these principles to the subject of priesthood authority in the family and the Church.All priesthood authority in the Church functions under the direction of one who holds the appropriate priesthood keys. This is the priesthood line. But the authority that presides in the family—whether father or single-parent mother—functions in family matters without the need to get authorization from anyone holding priesthood keys. That is like the personal line. Both lines must be functioning in our family life and in our personal lives if we are to have the growth and achieve the destiny identified in our Heavenly Father’s plan for His children.

I especially found the part about a single mother interesting. That is the authority that presides in that home, just as a father would in a traditional temple-married household. In this case, it would be a mother who would conduct a council with her children or a child, with all the rights to revelation as she presides over that council.

So how does this affect your young women? They may not have a family that conducts any sort of formal family councils. But there will be times when their parents will ask for their advice on a family matter. Or, they may see an issue in their family that they are concerned about, and after careful thought and prayer they may want to share their concerns with their parents. In short, there will be times when those young women will be counselors to the president of their family, whether or not anyone is recognizing it as so.

Understanding those roles and the power of revelation that can come in those situations can have an important effect on their families.They may simply decide to ponder and share thoughts rather than complain. They may even begin to pray for their parents to receive guidance as the leaders of their home. (Sounds a bit like Nephi going to Lehi to ask where to hunt, doesn’t it?)

A family council is a way in which a family comes together – yes, together, unified- but not just with each other. It is the way in which a family comes together, before God. A way in which the family is unified, with God.

New Beginnings - "We Believe"

2011-02-28T06:39:00.008-05:00

Does any one have ideas on a New Beginnings Night centered around the year's theme "We Believe?"

I was thinking a bit about DIETER F. UCHTDORF “Your Happily Ever After”. I was so impressed at how he wove the YW theme and scriptures into his talk!

Pres. Uchtdorf says:

Today I want to draw your attention to something very significant, very extraordinary. On the first page of your Young Women Personal Progressbook, you will find these words: “You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.”¹
Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”

What if you took as the theme that these stories are just fairy tales, but because we have something we actually believe in, we are free to enjoy every good thing in this life.

I like the idea of juxtaposing a fairy tale we can't believe in, and the gospel, which we can. But on the other hand, the 13th Article of Faith is not about just believing in something, but about believing in being honest, doing good, seeking for virtuous things. But perhaps we can only seek after these things because of what we already believe? We want to enjoy all good things because we know that there is a God in heaven? We can "lay hold upon every good gift" because "every good gift cometh of Christ" (see Moroni 10:30, 18).

What are you thoughts on a New Beginnings centered on the "We Believe" mutual theme?

YW Lesson 8: Eternal Families (Manual 3) & Consecration

2011-02-27T08:48:00.002-05:00

Two links for the lesson on Eternal Families:

1. jeans' notes from 2008 - we've already had some new comments on this lesson this past week. She focuses on how to answer the manual's call to "Be sensitive to the needs and feelings of young women who may be the only members of the Church in their families or who may come from troubled homes."

2. the sidebar suggestions at new.lds.org will have up-to-date suggestions for talks, questions, media etc.

In addition, here is a blog post by ks (originally posted at another blog):

I have to admit, if I were teaching this week I would stumble a bit as I pondered what to teach. It would definitely require much prayer and pondering!

I have lots of questions and concerns personally about this lesson. It don’t mean to say I have any negative feelings towards my own family situation or even the general teaching about families being eternal. I love the doctrine and cherish my own family’s covenants.

But I worry about a subtle, underlying message, though I want to talk about it carefully here.

Yes, we want to exist in whatever eternal state God has prepared and wants us to achieve.

And yes, the temple sealing ordinances are for families – for husband and wife, and for children.

And yes, the prophets and apostles teach that this is our goal – to be worthy to be united eternally with our families.

BUT, my questions are:

1, What if someone comes from an abusive home. What if someone doesn’t have a happy loving family? What if it is clear that someone’s parent(s) are not interested in any sort of celestial living? I realize that, as we say, it will all be worked out… but mostly, I want to ask what all these sort of lessons will sound like to a girl living in that condition? She may think a) well, this promise is good for you guys but I’m already out, b) what planet are you all on? that’s not how life works, c) I guess this abusive treatment I get is what life is, and I’m supposed to like this and suffer it out so I can have these blessings everyone is talking about.
This is a concern I have about children in such homes.

2, There is more to the celestial kingdom’s law than just “having an eternal family.” This paragraph of the lesson is what I mean:

Make sure the young women understand that they cannot live with their families eternally unless they are striving now to live a celestial law. They will spend eternity in the kingdom they have prepared themselves for, and it is worth every effort to qualify now for the blessings of the celestial kingdom.
Testimony
Express your feelings and bear your testimony about the importance of obtaining necessary temple ordinances and living a celestial law in our earthly families so that we can become eternal families.

Unfortunately, this part of the lesson makes it sound like the “celestial law” is entirely a question of being sealed to your family. That is the crowing necessity, the essence of celestial living, it sounds like. But what of all our temple covenants? What of scriptural context behind the phrase “celestial law”? I understand that to be the law of consecration, where nothing is really “ours” but rather is God’s and we are using it to do His work.

I realize the next portion of the lesson (where the girls are asked to think of something to improve) is meant to prepare them to live a “higher” form of family life – but the suggestions aren’t that radical, at least in this way of presenting it.

But if we follow up on the idea of a celestial law, which is mentioned in the manual, then I think we might have something very profound here.

If we see the celestial law as a law of consecration (see D&C 88 and D&C 105), then we have lots of interesting things to work with. The celestial law is that we only possess what we need, we love others, we unite together – but all of this only so that we can better to God’s work (not so we have an easier time economically or whatever). And, it includes the idea that the word consecration actually means – to make something sacred.

In D&C 42 (the “Law” of consecration specifically), there is an interesting section on healing. It says that if a person is near death, the elders can be called and lay their hands on the person’s head. They are then blessed either to “live unto God” or to “die unto God.” In either case, the person’s life was consecrated – made sacred – given to God.

If we see this in our families, then the sealing takes on some new meanings. We wouldn’t then be sealed for us, so we have more blessings, so we “get” our families forever. (Nor so that we escape some negative consequence, where we don’t “get” what we could have had and live in regret forever.) What if we see the sealing of families as a consecrating of families?

A consecrating, or making sacred, of marriage or families?

In this way, our family is given up to God to accomplish what he wants to do with it. And since God’s work goes beyond the Grave, so does a family consecrated to His work.

What kind of work does this mean?

“This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Perhaps that is a place to start. How can we, in our families first, help God accomplish this work? And second, how can we, as families, help God accomplish this work in families and individuals around us?
What a joyous and productive way of talking about eternal family life!
__________________________________________________
For some additional resources, read:
D. Todd Christofferson’s “Come to Zion,” (October 2008 conference). It is summarized this way: “In our families and in our stakes and districts, let us seek to build up Zion through unity, godliness, and charity.”
Ronald A. Rasband’s “Our Rising Generation,” (April 2006 conference). I especially liked the idea of not separating our work in the family from our work in the church. Here is one story that really stuck with me:

After performing the ordinances and while my son and I were still in the font with tears of joy in our eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “Dad, why haven’t we ever done this before?”
I thought of all the football games, all the movies we had attended together, all of the good times we had shared—certainly happy memories and traditions that are so important to build.
However, I realized we had an opportunity to add more meaningful spiritual experiences with our children like what we had experienced in Preston that day.

And, finally, D. Todd Christofferson’s “Reflections on a Consecrated Life” (Oct 2010 conference)

YW Lesson 7: Our Purpose in Life (Manual 3)

2011-02-23T07:48:00.002-05:00

Whoa, what a topic. :)

Here is the link to the notes jeans did in 2008. She focused on six talks by President Hinckley on this topic.

Here is a link to some notes I just did today, focusing on Decision Making 101 and Elder Scott's talk on prayer from 2007.

And, here is the link to the new.lds.org page, with a sidebar of suggestions (including Elder Oaks'
"Two Lines of Communication" from the last conference and Elaine Dalton's "Remember Who You Are" from the last YW meeting.) (Isn't it fantastic to have such up-to-date resources for your classroom? I love it!)

On any of these posts, please please comment with any thoughts, questions, or suggestions!

YW Manual 3 Lesson 6: "A Woman’s Responsibility to Teach" - additional resources

2011-02-16T14:03:00.003-05:00

For any of you using a HARDCOPY MANUAL - don't miss the sidebars at new.lds.org lesson pages! They are UPDATED and well worth taking a look!

I am going to post the entirety of the sidebar material here. And, I encourage any of you with suggestions on other conference talks, scriptures, media, etc., to add them in the comments. My plan is to do this with each lesson, and keep these posts archived next to jean's lesson notes on our Manual 3 archive page.

Here are the suggestions from new.lds.org (if you go there all these will be hyperlinked for you :) ):

Discussion Questions:
Who is one person who has helped you choose to do right or helped you overcome a problem? What attributes of Christ does this person exemplify?
What experiences have you had when you have felt the Spirit and helped someone do what is right or overcome a problem?
Words of the Prophets
L. Tom Perry, “Mothers Teaching Children in the Home,” Apr. 2010 general conference.
Additional General Conference Talks
Russell T. Osguthorpe, “Teaching Helps Save Lives,” Oct. 2009 general conference.
David M. McConkie, “Gospel Learning and Teaching,” Oct. 2010 general conference. Consider the four basic principles beginning with “How, then, do we develop the attitude necessary . . .”
Rosemary W. Wixom, “Stay On the Path,” Oct. 2010 general conference. Consider the four paragraphs beginning with “No child needs to walk the path alone . . .”
Additional Resources
Mosiah 4:15; Alma 37:34.
Art: The Sermon on the Mount; Christ and the Children.
Music: “Help Me Teach with Inspiration,” Hymns, no. 281.
Media:
Mormon Messages: “Seek the Higher Ground,” Quentin L. Cook.
Mormon Messages for Youth: “Charity: An Example of the Believers.”
Accept and Act:
What can you do to teach others through your positive example?
Seek an appropriate opportunity to teach someone who wants to learn. Later, share your experience with a parent or leader.
Personal Progress: Faith value experience 2; Knowledge value experience 1; Good Works value experience 4.

Thoughts on WorldWide Leadership Broadcast, Part the Second

2011-02-12T14:32:00.004-05:00

So, we had a couple of months to think about, start to implement, read & ponder, struggle a little and now, another Saturday morning to come together again as a ward (church-wide) council and take another look at the Handbook #2.

I'm impressed.

Impressed at the effort and care that's being taken to bring us all onto the same page, to provide resources, to make deep changes in church culture (in places, e.g. where women are excluded from the day-to-day of unit and program leadership). Impressed at the sense of unity and even urgency that I am feeling from our church leaders: we are on the Lord's errand and complacency will not do, we must do better, be more in tune, and work in greater unity and love. Leading is not top-down from bishoprics, it's a shared responsibility integrated among ALL the parts of a ward.

I've been immersed in scholarly literature on higher-ed pedagogy (which is partly the reason for my near-disappearance from blogging, but don't worry - I'm still around, I'm just not writing much), and one of the things that is consistently found is that you don't learn ANYTHING that you don't a) hear more than once, preferably many times in many different settings and emotional contexts, and b) practice in real-life, not artificially contrived or hypothetical, situations.

I can't think of anything less hypothetical than a ward or stake leadership church calling. It's where rubber meets road in setting family priorities, time management, your spiritual communication with God, your ability to connect with the people you're called to serve, and your ability to work with others towards common goals. Really. And the new handbook's emphasis on general principles rather than specific rules and mechanics... well, it's exhilarating and a little terrifying at the same time.

Returning to these ideas in a second broadcast spaced a few months later, after we've had a chance to try things out in our real settings, is a great idea. Likewise, the best colleges and universities - the ones in which real, measurable learning happening - are taking on similar (and difficult) deep changes: breaking down disciplinary silos, articulating their core purposes, and aligning their "talks and walks," so to speak. I feel like that's what's happening with the training surrounding the new handbooks.

I enjoyed this morning's broadcast. I loved the three film vignettes (all of them set outside the US, yay!). I appreciated that the broadcast made sure to include voices from ALL around the ward council table - from every auxiliary and part of the ward - engaged in ONE work.

And my favorite line was President Beck, "the Lord loves beginners."

I'm making that my new motto.

What were your thoughts from today's broadcast? (If you missed it, it will be up on the 'nets soon).

Posts on the new Handbook: Young Women section 10:2

2011-02-09T14:07:00.007-05:00

Since Beginnings New is what has been called the "Young Women leaders' teachers' lounge" I think it's a good place to at least open a space for conversation on the new church handbook of instructions.

In January, we posted on 10.1. This month the focus will be on section 10.2. Here it is, in full:

10.2 Roles of Parents and Church Leaders
Parents have the first responsibility for the spiritual and physical welfare of their children (see D&C 68:25–28). The bishopric and Young Women leaders support but do not replace parents in this responsibility. They offer support in the following ways:
They assist parents in helping their daughters prepare to receive the blessings of the temple by following the guidelines listed in 10.1.1.
They encourage communication between young women and parents.
They ensure that Young Women activities and other youth events do not put undue burdens on families or compete with family activities.
Leaders should be especially sensitive to young women who come from homes that lack strong support for gospel living.

I thought it was interesting that the handbook lists "prepare to receive the blessings of the temple" as the main end goal of everything in 10.1. It is the main way in which we assist parents.

Everything in the rest of this section (encouraging communication, carefully planned activities, and being sensitive) are in the same vein: make sure that where possible, the girls are free to learn and live the gospel in the home first. We are here to assist parents. However, where that teaching is not happening, we have a great opportunity to make sure they can still be prepared for the blessings of the temple.

How do we prepare girls for the temple? Certainly there are some major standards to make sure they know of and keep, but what about mentally, emotionally, spiritually - I'll say, doctrinally? How can we focus the entire program on that one goal? Of course, it doesn't mean to force every lesson to say something about being married in the temple someday. Indeed! I have been to too many of those sorts of things...

But what is it about the temple that is so important? Let me just ask that. What would you say if a young women asked you that? And, let's say for a minute, that the girl had a mom who wasn't married to a member, but also never went to the temple. What would you say to her about the blessings her mom would receive by going to the temple?

What about many of our Laurels who may be getting married within the next five years? If you had a chance to sit with them during the month before they went to receive temple ordinances, what would you want them to know?

And what really is the difference between a temple sealing and a marriage performed outside the temple? Is a sealing really just a more permanent version of the other?

Where would you go to teach a (carefully planned) lesson on the endowment? (Please make sure your young women know that there is more to the temple than their wedding day!)

Myself, I would suggest looking to the new Temples magazine, the one that came out as an Ensign issue last year. That will have answers to lots of general questions, plus pictures and history. You could see what your girls even know about the temple. Have they heard of the "initiatory" at all? Do they know that the endowment has to do with Adam and Eve? There are a lot of lessons that could be taken right from the scriptures that will prepare them for what they will receive in the temple. (One of my favorite talks is What I Hope You Will Teach Your Children About the Temple by Pres. Benson. It was in the old Temples magazine. It goes through the background for the scriptures on Adam, Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and what they have to do with the endowment. Very enlightening!)

We are losing more and more members from the late teenage through young adult years. Perhaps if they receive a good solid understanding of what the temple is about and are committed to keeping the covenants they make there, we won't lose so many.

Making a Home: Thinking about Sis. Beck and lessons 4 and 5 on "Homemaking"

2011-01-31T08:28:00.011-05:00

In thinking about the Young Women lessons #4 and #5, my mind keeps turning to Sis. Beck. The lessons focus a lot on homemaking - which can unfortunately come across too secularly and just bland. But in recent years, I have been amazed and so impressed at how Sis. Beck can see mothering and homemaking in a way that fits scripture. She is well versed in scripture, doctrine, the temple, and the Abrahamic Covenant. She knows all this, and yet she still spends time talking about cleaning up a house! I am impressed. I see her oriented by something far more eternal, and therefore everything we do in this life is to that purpose. It all becomes consecrated for some purpose.

From "Mothers Who Know":

"Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes."

Homemaking is not something to avoid, useful just as a hobby, or something to fight over with a husband. Homemaking is simply something to take advantage of. Create a climate for growth using the talents we have. For some that might mean a spotless house. But for me, it has meant keeping up just enough so nothing is in the way, and filling our home with a library of good books and good music (while I slowly pick up on overlooked cooking and cleaning skills). But wherever we are at, whatever our abilities are, what we are after is making a home. Create a climate for spiritual - and temporal - growth.

"Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization."

Nothing just slides by, just happens. We have the chance, if we take it, to sit in council with husbands and later with children to plan what we will do with this organization - as she says, an eternal one. In the heavens they plan how to save us - our ancient fathers and mothers sit in council, and we do the very same thing here over our covenant children.

"Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty."

I loved this line when I first heard it and I still love it now. We are not babysitters, and we are never off duty! But that means we can teach, whenever the opportunities arise - and they do! They usually come when I'm not looking for them, too. They come after a hurried trip to the store, and while I'm putting away groceries my son asks when we're going to die and why we can't just stay on earth. Then all the thinking and studying I've ever done is on this is called to my mind and my testimony can't help but come out as I explain things simply and clearly. We are never off duty!

Her talk "A Mother Heart" is also full of scripture and insight. It is especially relevant to YW since it was given when she was in the Young Women general presidency. I love this part especially:

"Oh, that every girl and woman would have a testimony of her potential for eternal motherhood as she keeps her earthly covenants. “Each is a beloved … daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine … destiny” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). As spirit daughters of God, women “received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth” (D&C 138:56) on the earth. They were among the “noble and great ones” (D&C 138:55) who “shouted for joy” (Job 38:7)"

To picture us as women who knew full well our future roles here on earth and in the eternities, and knew them so well that we both shouted for joy and received lessons in the world of spirits - that is the image of motherhood I get and can't shake when I read Sis. Beck's talks.

This work is so caught up in the covenants made with us and with Abraham, with the work of salvation and of creation, and yet so earthly and in front of us. But it does mean that the very things that seem so mundane are and can be taken up, as small and simple things, that are creating a climate where the covenants can be accomplished. Create a place where your kids can learn about all good things. Create a place where the Sabbath day is kept. Create a place where gospel discussions can happen, and when they do a place where other things can be put off for this discussion to continue. Create a home where others can come - young women, young men, neighbors, friends, and where they can also be uplifted. Use this home as a space where happiness and holiness mingle and then we will indeed be "handmaidens" and "joyful mothers of children."

All this is the vision I hope our future young mothers will be taught as they grow into their adult years. Note that Elder Ballard has also been teaching about motherhood lately (see Daughters of God and Mothers and Daughters). Good luck to you all as you pour through the manual, talks, scripture, and seek the spirit to teach in the upcoming weeks!

Lesson 4: Preparing to Become an Eternal Companion (YW Manual 3, Lesson 4)

2011-01-22T15:59:00.005-05:00

Hello all! Like last week, I'm going to repost the link to the lesson notes jeans did last time around, and invite comments from one and all on this lesson:

http://beginningsnew.blogspot.com/2008/01/lesson-3-4-preparing-to-become-eternal.html

What concerns do you have going into this lesson?

What bad lessons have you seen on this topic?

How can we teach the doctrine behind this lesson even more clearly?

The lesson title is being an "eternal companion" - not a housewife. If I were teaching, I think I'd have to pick between the two: focus on the relationship of husband and wife, role of the sealing ordinance, responsibility and opportunity to work in the church as a team/family unit, OR, I would focus on homemaking skills, in the way Sis. Beck talks about them. Homemaking is an important topic as well, but for me I'd want to do two separate lessons on them so they don't get mixed up as the same thing, or the only way in which we are companions! What are your thoughts?