Women as Boundary-Breakers (and some additional links for YW Lesson 7: Homemaking and YW Lesson 8: Attitudes About Our Divine Roles)

Hello, hello everyone! I'm certainly behind this month... I won't go into excuses... I decided in order to catch-up, I'd combine lessons 7 and 8 and give some general comments and links for both.

A few concerns I've noticed, from comments etc.:  Why 4 lessons on the same topic, basically? Why do we need to "improve" attitudes among youth - or is that really something adults struggle with more than youth?
And again, as we've asked before, how to we prepare youth to be good moms but not feel guilty if someday that isn't one of God's gifts for them?

All good questions, among many others I saw. And, as pointed out by jeans and others, it is certainly up to each of you how you approach these "suggested lesson developments" - remember, it's really up to you and the Spirit to know what your girls need to hear! Tangents are sometimes what the Spirit leads you to do - pray carefully and if the Spirit's there, have confidence! That's what teaching is all about. 

A few links, first off:

• There are, as many of you have already looked at, Lesson 7 notes by reese dixon and Lesson 8 notes from jeans, from 2009. Plus lots of comments (yay!) from both 2009 and 2012 on each post.
• But you all oughta also check out the Lesson 5 Manual 2 notes from jeans discussing the topic of "Home Environment." The objective is that: "Each young woman will strive to create a home environment where the Spirit of the Lord can dwell." I loved the post by jeans and it is full of ideas for additional resources, as well as her own insight, of course.
• And, jeans did a post in 2009 that she called "raw notes" on Lesson 8 that is fantastic. (see below) 
• Also, a lesson by jeans on women as peacemakers from 2010
• And, from 2011, the lesson on "Creating a Spiritual Environment in the Home" on lds.org and also my notes on Sis. Beck's talks on making a home vs. housekeeping

I really, really enjoyed the post by jeans that she called "raw notes" for Lesson 8. Here are some highlights (but you really ought to go read the whole thing):

The main point of the first half of her post seems to me to be summed up in these words of hers: 

"The Lord is a boundary-buster – his vision is expansive vs. the poverty & smallness of the circumscribed roles in our culture"

Here are some of her examples:

• He can help us see beyond women as simply childbearer, defined by biology --> mother, nurturer, educator – also finds wholeness for women who cannot bear their own children
• He can help us see beyond women as just housekeeper, her place is in the home --> homemaker, home as temple, creator of spiritual spaces, family & home as the foundation of the gospel and of any society, elevation of that role
• He can help us see beyond women as only ornamental, seductive, dangerous --> true beauty comes from kindness & virtue
• He can help us see beyond women as powerful, authoritative, "manly" (often expected of career women & feminists) --> the power of being a servant, charity never faileth, love is the greatest & perhaps in the end the only power in the universe

I think that is a great way to handle all of these lessons in general. The point of teaching about women's roles or homemaking is not - NOT - to just affirm the cultural traditions from a certain past era or whatever. The point is, God transforms us, He has a different view of women than the world does. Or perhaps even than we do! What does God see? Well, what do the scriptures say? That is the next step by jeans in her post.

Next, jeans discusses the story of Mary and Martha. And then Proverbs 31. (Using scriptures to get at the real point of a lesson topic! I love it!!)

I'd better stop here or I'll just be cutting and pasting the whole lesson. In fact, it's probably worth a repost on its own, anyway. I'll have to do that.

But I wanted to add a few other thoughts briefly on the idea of God as a "boundary breaker." It's a powerful and important image and I want to use it in my future lessons, for sure. But I wonder in what ways might we also see women as "boundary breakers"? For example, society often sees children as helpless little people whose main job in life is to have fun (oh and at some point learn a couple of things that will later get them employment). But I see them as developed spirits who are only currently a little less experienced in the world than I am, but are equal to me in their potential to learn, think, and love. I break the boundary between child and adult when I treat them with respect and expect them to think carefully and do their best. Women break the boundaries between social classes when we willingly reach out to the poor around us. I break a boundary every time I go visiting teaching, because those I teach are not in the same group that society would have liked to put me in. We break boundaries of nations when we join in Relief Society humanitarian aid projects, or even simply attend the RS broadcast! We, along with God, are breaking the boundaries of the categories jeans mentioned above: instead of childbearers because of biology, we are childbearers who choose to mother, nurture, and educate; instead of housekeepers because that's just where we belong, we are housekeepers who make a home, change the image of homes into something as sacred as temples, create spiritual spaces, and make family & home as the foundation of the gospel and of any society; instead of beauty because of ornamentation, we are see the beauty (the real tangible beauty and strength) that comes when we choose to be kind and virtuous; and finally, instead of powerful because we compete with men, we are powerful because we choose to serve and love with power.

We are boundary-breakers. Any true servant of Christ is. But we really, really are. And I am hoping that the YW can begin to see that. These lessons don't have to be reinforcing problematic traditions mixed with a few bits of truth. Don't feed them, as Elder Holland puts it, "the philosophies of men interlaced with a few scriptures and poems" - feed them truth, real truth, powerful truth.

Repost from 2009: "raw notes" by jeans for Lesson 8: "Attitudes about our divine roles"

I don't usually post lesson notes, because we each need to find our own way through the material and what I do is for my 8 girls and their needs - but I woke up this morning remembering that a friend of mine had written a terrific article about the woman of Proverbs 31 and remembering that is one of the new virtue value scriptures. I teach the Laurels and many of them are "done" with Personal Progress (although I don't like that phrase, whenever I hear any of them say it, I remind them that we are all personally progressing and we are never done), so they might not even really search out that value's scripture recommendations. I thought this is a way to get them excited about it, and a scriptural way in to the discussion about what is expected of women in different times & places.

So here's what I'm doing today...NOT that this is what you should do...too late to be helpful if you're teaching today anyway...

Lesson 1-8

What good are women? What are they for?
Women’s roles are culturally constructed – change according to time, place, peoplehood
Those culturally defined roles set the boundaries within which the Lord has to work – he had to during his own lifetime, he had to when the Church was organized in the 19th century, and he has to now, across the globe

However, the gospel opens up possibilities in & beyond those roles & beyond our limited human vision
The Lord is a boundary-buster – his vision is expansive vs. the poverty & smallness of the circumscribed roles in our culture
He can help us see beyond women as simply childbearer, defined by biology --> mother, nurturer, educator – also finds wholeness for women who cannot bear their own children
He can help us see beyond women as just housekeeper, her place is in the home --> homemaker, home as temple, creator of spiritual spaces, family & home as the foundation of the gospel and of any society, elevation of that role
He can help us see beyond women as only ornamental, seductive, dangerous --> true beauty comes from kindness & virtue
He can help us see beyond women as powerful, authoritative, "manly" (often expected of career women & feminists) --> the power of being a servant, charity never faileth, love is the greatest & perhaps in the end the only power in the universe

Story of Mary & Martha
Luke 10 – follows right after the Good Samaritan.

38: Note, Martha received him into HER house. Martha "encumbered with serving," and Mary "sat at the Lord's feet." He loved them both, and he taught them both according to their spiritual needs.
John 11-12 - Martha was transformed because she was teachable and humble - we can see the change in her between Luke 10 and John 11-12. Her attitude changed and her life was transformed by her relationship with the Savior.

We learn Mary was the same Mary who anointed the Lord’s feet with ointment. We hear Martha’s unhesitating testimony of Christ and the resurrection, even in her grief

What WAS the Lord's view of women?
• He invited and nurtured their discipleship
• He valued the work they did in the home and honored them there
• He showed, on multiple occasions, his love for children and their needs
• He demonstrated that women belonged in the synagogue, temple, and kingdom of God, and their sphere of influence goes beyond their households
• He called women wise who prepared both physically and spiritually

Woman of Virtue, Proverbs 31 (one of the Virtue Value scriptures)
Proverbs 31:10-31 – one of “Virtue Value” scriptures – Riess points out that it is an acrostic, specifically a Hebrew alphabet acrostic – geared toward memorizing, a way to pass on advice from a mother to a child
(Jana Riess, “The Woman of Worth: Impressions of Proverbs 31:10-31,” Dialogue Spring 1997 30(1): 141-151.)

The alphabet acrostic goes like this -

“A Woman of Worth who can find? She is far more precious than rubies.
Because of this, the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Clearly she does him good and not evil all the days of his life.
Doing her work with willing hands, she seeks wool and flax.
Even as the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from far away
Faster than the sun is she, rising while it is still night to provide food for her family and tasks for her servant girls
Giving careful consideration to a field she buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard
Herself she girds with strength; she makes her arms strong
In her merchandise, she sees the profit of her own work. Her lamp does not go out at night.
Joyfully she puts her hand to the loom, and her hands hold the spindle
Keenly she feels the plight of the needy and holds her hands outstretched to the poor.
Looming ahead is the threat of winter snow, but she not afraid, for all in her household are clothed in crimson
Making coverings for herself as well, she wears fine linen and purple
Notable is her husband in the community; within the city gates he takes his seat with the elders of the land
Once created, her linen garments are sold for money; she supplies the merchant with sashes
Power, strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs confidently at the time to come
Quickened with wisdom is her tongue, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue
Regulating well the ways of her household, she does not eat the bread of idleness
She is commended by her children, who rise up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her:
“There are other women who have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Unnecessary is charm, and vain is beauty, but a woman who fears Yahweh is to be praised.
Value her, and give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates.”

Traditional interpretation: prescriptive as well as descriptive – emphasizing her silent, behind-the-scenes contributions to the household & that it is the realm of her total fulfillment
Feminist interpretation: noticing the prosperity, industry & conclude that it is not typical, not prescriptive
Jana’s: notice that wisdom is a woman many places in Proverbs, and this is the crowning summation of the book of wisdom. Wisdom is practical & pious; the gospel brings a rich, fruitful life. Women should be discerning in their choices; spiritual discernment brings wisdom

– use their names to do the same - write an acrostic for themselves

Conclusions
You cannot do it all & you cannot do it by simply imitating others or by trying to fulfill their expectations of us
The expectations which matter are God’s & then your family’s
Your particular family’s needs will need all your love & creativity
Your callings in the Church will ask your whole soul & self
Trust in the Lord will open up unexpected paths & vistas

2012 Worldwide Leadership Training - What did you think?

What were your thoughts on the Worldwide Leadership Training from last Saturday? (I couldn't go last week so I'm planning to watch it online this week.) I did read the summary from the Church News & Events website (http://www.lds.org/church/news/worldwide-leadership-training-highlights-path-to-real-growth?lang=eng). The article says that,

Church leaders explained the significance of “real growth” and how to achieve it during the February 11, 2012, Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting. (Access the online archives of the 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting.)

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, and members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the Presidency of the Seventy, and Church auxiliary presidencies participated in the instruction to Church leaders around the world.

“In Church terms, growth could be defined as ‘new members.’ . . . Real growth, however, is defined as ‘growth in the number of active members,’“ President Uchtdorf explained.

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles added, “Growth occurs when personal, lifelong conversion to the gospel results in increased faithfulness in each individual and family.”

...

The panel members discussed how powerful service among the youth of the Church is affecting not only those who are receiving the service, but also those who serve.

“This is something that we will see more and more in the years ahead—that young quorum presidents and young women take more responsibility for those their same age,” Elder Andersen predicted.

...

Much of the broadcast focused on key doctrines and principles, which provide answers to “why” questions. During the second half of the training, Church leaders discussed leadership principles from Handbook 2: Administering the Church in a panel discussion.

“The proper ‘why’ questions will lead us to the proper ‘who,’ ‘what,’ ‘when,’ ‘where,’ ‘why,’ and ‘how,’ decisions,” President Uchtdorf said. 

... 

“As you consider these topics, ask yourself about the ‘why’ of your service and ministry and the resulting ‘therefore, what’ in your responsibilities as individuals and as councils,” he said. 

Who was able to see it? What did you think about it? What implications does it have for your work in the Young Women's program?

"Finding Joy Now" - YW Lesson 6, Manual 1

Lesson 6's title instantly directed me to two talks by Pres. Uchtdorf and a scripture in Moses. Some of those who commented, here and at Feast, expressed some concern about last week's lesson outline as being too focused on the future, and specifically on a future situation (mothering) that might not even happen to some of the young women in our classrooms. Perhaps this lesson is a subtle recognition of that fact: this week's question is how do we have joy, now? 

This situation is so well addressed by Pres. Uchtdorf's image of the "Golden Ticket" in his talk Forget Me Not that I couldn't write a post without quoting it:

Third, forget not to be happy now.

In the beloved children’s story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka hides a golden ticket in five of his candy bars and announces that whoever finds one of the tickets wins a tour of his factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Written on each golden ticket is this message: “Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket … ! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! … Mystic and marvelous surprises … will … delight, … astonish, and perplex you.”3

In this classic children’s story, people all over the world desperately yearn to find a golden ticket. Some feel that their entire future happiness depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their hands. In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket.

So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”4 The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear.

One woman wanted more than anything else to marry a righteous priesthood holder in the temple and be a mother and a wife. She had dreamed about this all her life, and oh, what a wonderful mother and loving wife she would be. Her home would be filled with loving-kindness. Never a bitter word would be spoken. The food would never burn. And her children, instead of hanging out with their friends, would prefer to spend their evenings and weekends with Mom and Dad.

This was her golden ticket. It was the one thing upon which she felt her whole existence depended. It was the one thing in all the world for which she most desperately yearned.
But it never happened. And, as the years went on, she became more and more withdrawn, bitter, and even angry. She could not understand why God would not grant her this righteous desire.

She worked as an elementary school teacher, and being around children all day long simply reminded her that her golden ticket had never appeared. As the years passed she became more disappointed and withdrawn. People didn’t like being around her and avoided her whenever they could. She even took her frustration out on the children at school. She found herself losing her temper, and she swung between fits of anger and desperate loneliness.

The tragedy of this story is that this dear woman, in all her disappointment about her golden ticket, failed to notice the blessings she did have. She did not have children in her home, but she was surrounded by them in her classroom. She was not blessed with a family, but the Lord had given her an opportunity few people have—the chance to influence for good the lives of hundreds of children and families as a teacher.

The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.

This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.

In fact, as I looked through this talk to find the above section, I realized that this talk in its entirety is an explanation of how to have joy, now. For example, here is part of section four:

While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet.

Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us.

My dear sisters, seek out the majesty, the beauty, and the exhilarating joy of the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The “what” and “how” of obedience mark the way and keep us on the right path. The “why” of obedience sanctifies our actions, transforming the mundane into the majestic. It magnifies our small acts of obedience into holy acts of consecration.

What a fantastic talk.

I also liked his talk on "Your Happily Ever After."  A joyful life is not the same as an easy life:

My dear young sisters, you need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.

It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.

There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone.

If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift your heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you. He says to you, as He said to Joseph Smith, “[Your] adversity and [your] afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if [you] endure it well, God shall exalt [you] on high.” 3

Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life. Let me repeat: how you react to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at your own “happily ever after.”

And again from his Happily Ever After talk:

My dear young sisters—you who stand for truth and righteousness, you who seek goodness, you who have entered the waters of baptism and walk in the ways of the Lord—our Father in Heaven has promised that you will “mount up with wings as eagles; [you] shall run, and not be weary; and [you] shall walk, and not faint.” ⁶ You “shall not be deceived.” ⁷ God will bless and prosper you. ⁸ “The gates of hell shall not prevail against you; … and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.” 9

Sisters, we love you. We pray for you. Be strong and of good courage. You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your “once upon a time” is now.

Who cannot feel uplifted at these words by Pres. Uchtdorf? Now, now is our story. The story of each of the Young Women in your classes. They have the power, the strength, the joy that comes from the gift of the Holy Ghost. Our job is to point them to that, and to bear testimony that it is real!  Pres. Uchtdorf ends with this paragraph:

As an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, I leave you my blessing and give you a promise that as you accept and live the values and principles of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, “[you] will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.” 10 And the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.” Of this I testify in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Couple this talk together with the image of the Golden Ticket, and I think that's a wonderful lesson right there! :)

Finally, I will mention again, as I did last week, that when Eve learned about the gospel, and her salvation from sin and death, she was glad, she rejoiced, and she shared it. (See Moses 5:9-12.) I still think there is something very powerful in that.

I hope your lessons go well this week. I hope we all are uplifted (we adults too, not just the youth!) in remembering the promises of power and joy that we have because of the covenants we have made. Next time you visit the temple, especially to do Initiatory work or an Endowment session, think of those promises of both power and of joy. Both are promised as a result of keeping our covenants. And both are available to us, now.

Thanks for reading. Please share your own thoughts, and also scriptures and talks that have impressed you as you thought about this topic. Whatever has been uplifting to you, please share it here and uplift others too. :)

(This lesson notes are also posted at Feast Upon the Word Blog)