Hello all! Like last week, I'm going to repost the link to the lesson notes jeans did last time around, and invite comments from one and all on this lesson:
What concerns do you have going into this lesson?
What bad lessons have you seen on this topic?
How can we teach the doctrine behind this lesson even more clearly?
The lesson title is being an "eternal companion" - not a housewife. If I were teaching, I think I'd have to pick between the two: focus on the relationship of husband and wife, role of the sealing ordinance, responsibility and opportunity to work in the church as a team/family unit, OR, I would focus on homemaking skills, in the way Sis. Beck talks about them. Homemaking is an important topic as well, but for me I'd want to do two separate lessons on them so they don't get mixed up as the same thing, or the only way in which we are companions! What are your thoughts?
I would just add that the "marriage is optional, old-fashioned, and on the way out" drumbeat has gotten a lot stronger since I wrote the original post in 2008; witness the Nov 29, 2010 Time magazine cover story, "Who Needs Marriage?" just a couple of months ago.
ReplyDeleteWhich makes the need for a lesson that celebrates marriage and helps build the skills of long-lasting ones all the more relevant.
For me, personally, I'd just leave homemaking skills out of the equation and give that its own lesson instead of getting it all confused with the spiritual and emotional preparation that should precede eternal marriage.
I have lots of my own, personal thoughts on marriage... but where do you go in the scriptures and conference talks for something clear, meaty, and meaningful for young women?
ReplyDeleteWould you go to the Abrahamic Covenant? Would you look at the sealing ordinance? Would you look at temples in general? Would you look at becoming gods and goddesses?? Any of this could be productive, if done right...
Perhaps let the girls think through the word "eternal" - where does it show up in scripture?
And also, the word "companion" - what does the word itself mean? What happens when you put the two words back together, after studying each word separately?
Certainly homemaking, though important, is not "eternal." Or, what is homemaking doing that contributes to something eternal? Or is it? Lots of questions I'd have to ask myself before I taught, or go into the lesson with lots of questions for the girls. Sometimes I think we get a lot more done in the classroom if we as teachers go in with questions and make them think. Whenever I've tried that, I've always been impressed with how they took the questions seriously and start doing their own thinking - and that itself is a great step forward.
It just dawned on me that going to the Family Proclamation would be a good way to handle this one. If we're looking for what the church has said on successful marriages, that's certainly a good place to go.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a good idea to keep the homemaking and the eternal companion ideas separate, at least for this lesson. (I can see a brief discussion of eternal companionship being useful in a lesson that's primarily about homemaking, perhaps setting up that both men AND women can improve the marriage relationship by expressing their love and commitment through homemaking, etc.) Being a homemaker is certainly not the only way in which women are companions, nor is it off-limits as a way for MEN to be companions. I'm becoming more and more solid in my belief that wives being the only homemakers (or nurturers) in the home does a huge disservice to the service opportunities for husbands, who need to contribute in those areas just as much for their own improvement as to "give their wives a break."
ReplyDeleteAs a young woman, I always enjoyed and got a lot of use from the discussions about what qualities we (as YW) wanted in our eternal companions, which could quickly be mirrored as qualities we ought to develop ourselves. The perspective of an adult woman, who is perhaps married or has been in the past, could be very helpful here. I'd love to see an emphasis on GROWTH as an eternal companion, how marriage can be fantastic territory in which to experience difficult, necessary challenges. Those challenges can improve the marriage but, of equal importance, they can improve the individual as well.
I find it meaningful that the lesson is entitled "Preparing to Become an Eternal Companion," rather than "Preparing for an Eternal Marriage." The title alone sounds like it gives ample space to emphasize personal improvement, a personal journey, while also expressing the importance of eternal marriage.
I taught this lesson with only 1 day's notice (the YW President was invited to a missionary's setting apart last minute), and I'm a YSA, so I found this lesson really hard!
ReplyDeleteI looked up conference talks with the word 'marriage' and told a few stories from them. Thomas S Monson's one was really good, about how he met his wife, and "Decisions determine destiny" was a great concept to discuss. I also used D Todd Christofferson's talk about a consecrated life and the story of his grandparents, James E Faust's talk with the story of the YW who looked after her family after her mother died, and how that preparation blessed her in her married life. We talked about his advice that "Everything has a price", and that we are making decisions now that affect our future selves.
We went around the circle with each girl mentioning a thing they were looking for in an eternal companion. They agreed that they needed to have those qualities as well. We also talked about how you shouldn't wait until you're married to develop these qualities, because they're important for a good life anyway, and some people don't get married.
I read them "Fanny's Dream", from Deseret Books and talked about the difference between fairytales and reality, and expectations about how much work it takes to be married.
I also used the first presidency message in the Personal Progress book and The Family (Proclamation), so they were close to passing off Integrity Experience 7.
missOlea- wow, sounds like a good lesson! I loved that you used D Todd Christofferson's talk. What a great idea! The whole thing sounds like it went really well. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, there is also some discussion of this lesson at the Feast Upon the Word Blog too: http://feastuponthewordblog.org/2011/01/23/a-young-womens-lesson-a-guest-post-from-ks-at-beginnings-new/#comment-34188. And of course comments on the other post by jeans. Thanks everyone for reading and commenting!
ReplyDeleteI think being an eternal companion is about service, repentance, forgiveness and being temple-worthy (otherwise you couldn't make the covenant in the first place, or live worthy of it, or receive the blessings of it)
ReplyDeleteI also love the talk by Elder Holland called "How Do I Love Thee?" (http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=1618)
ReplyDeletePres. Faust once said, "Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine." I think that's a good explanation of it too - you don't focus on yourself, you don't even focus just on each other, but side by side you explore the world together.
My ward is a week behind most since we recently had our Stake Conference, so we're doing this lesson tomorrow. I was struggling with it until found a WONDERFUL talk by Marie K Hafen called "Celebrating Womanhood." The theme of the talk is "before you become somebody's wife, become somebody" and she elaborates on different areas of personal development. Very helpful for this lesson! http://lds.org/ensign/1992/06/celebrating-womanhood?lang=eng
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