Reviving an old thread: Lesson 2-48 "Communication Skills in Leadership"

As you know I'm new as a Beginnings New writer, so I am slowly trying to catch up on all that's been written here. Fortunately, I was perusing through this post on Lesson 48: "Communication Skills in Leadership" on Saturday, and so I was able to encourage our teacher yesterday to follow her decision NOT to include the gagging-the-girl object lesson!

Sitting there in class, I had a whole list of questions and comments about the lesson. Let me know what you think:

1. Besides the obvious awkwardness (etc etc) about the object lesson, why gag and tie up the class leader for this lesson? If the lesson is teaching how to communicate, I don't think this object lesson even fits (again, even if it WERE a good idea to tie someone up etc). To do something to the class president visually suggests that the president may have perfect communication skills but something is holding them back. This may have worked if we were talking about not following a good leader - that our lack of attention and trust ties up the prophet or Bishop or even a class leader. The message I see and the message of the lesson don't even match up.

2. Our girls didn't mind being told where to sit, so that part of the lesson didn't work either. :)

3. And, as usual, the questions in the manual didn't provoke much thought, usually resulting in the teacher giving the obvious answer anyway. (I'm going to write a whole post on the manual's questions, so more on that sometime.)

4. And I'll leave off specifics of the suggested lesson development to address a few other points:

A. Why was this not taken as an opportunity to talk about callings and the ability of the Spirit to guide a leader?

B. Why did we not talk about the role of counselors?

C. Why didn't we use this as a major opportunity to train the class on how to be a presidency?

D. Why didn't we even quote the handbook's discussion of a YW class presidency?

E. Why quote some scriptures that seem somehow to talk about speaking, when we could have looked at one or two leaders in some detail?

F. Why not look at all the wonderful talks about "focus on people, not programs" etc?

G. Listing all these great attributes probably mostly made the current leaders feel inadequate.

H. Are we assuming that girls don't need to talk about the doctrinal foundations of leadership, just how to communicate? I hope not.

To get all my thoughts on the table and be perfectly honest, the way the lesson was set up it took what could have been a wonderful training day into a bland discussion without any responsibility given to the girls. It was a lesson of telling them things they already knew or adding a tidbit here or there without any real thought - certainly without letting them think.

I almost want to say that we as leaders too often are the ones binding up the class leaders, doing things for them, and not trusting them to listen to the Spirit and lead. But do we ever teach them they can do that? Do we show confidence not only in them but in God to guide them?

What are your thoughts?

walk with Christ, Day 13 and 14: all we need is love

The 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death came and went yesterday with a lot of fanfare and discussion about him as a kind of late-century peace saint, and clips of his music floating through the internet, radio and other media I happened upon. "All we need is love" seems an appropriate thing to have heard on the day I read Moroni 7. I read the whole chapter because my literary sensibilities were offended by having to only read the end, it's like looking at the tail of an animal - I like to appreciate the whole thing and I LOVE chapter 7 and how it flows from idea to idea. Beautiful.

For today - Day 14, Dec. 9th--How can I follow in His steps? Read: Abraham 1:2, Moroni 7:48, 1 Peter 2:21. Ponder: How can I follow in Christ's steps today and the rest of my life? In all my decisions I will ask: "What would Christ do?" I will hearken to promptings received. I will think of myself as a disciple and sister of Jesus.

The song "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" is in my head this morning - this is the root of discipleship - the willingness to be taught, to follow, to be led. Teaching is gradual. In medical school, my husband's mantra for learning a procedure was "see one, do one, teach one." We grow line upon line, incrementally. No one gets it all at once. I know for the Seminary kids this year, they've been studying the Doctrine and Covenants, and it's wonderful how slowly and gradually the pieces came together in the first decade of the Church. What must have felt like false starts and dead ends turned out to be rich teaching experiences that prepared the Saints for what came next. Likewise, we are in a preparation phase in the Church today - Zion is "well" but that's a sign to get moving rather than to relax. I feel that in my own ward - which is strong and big enough that it would be easy for any of us to rest on our laurels (no pun intended) but rather, we probably need to recognize that we build in times of strength so that our houses will stand when the rain comes down and the floods come up.

Thanks for walking with me these past 2 weeks. I have heard from a number of people who asked for the brochure (I didn't design it, so I can't take credit for any of it but I did have our RS Prez's permission to send it along), and I appreciated the comments. Things might be a little quieter from me for a few weeks while I celebrate the season with my family, so--peace to you and yours from me.

walk with Christ, Day 12: treasures of the heart

Put God first. Have no other Gods before him. Seek Christ. Love as he loved. If you love him, keep his commandments.

These are the first and greatest commandments, the ones upon which "all the law and the prophets" rest.

I got to thinking about the counsel in 3 Ne 12 (and in the Sermon on the Mount) to "seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." What might it mean, in practice, to do that? HOW does one do that? I had three ideas:

1) seek ye FIRST... do "church stuff" first in the day, or at least schedule it in first and give it highest priority. It's like that object lesson where you try to put apples and lentils in a jar. We've all seen it. If you don't put the apples in first, you won't be able to fit them in once you've put in all the little lentils. In other words, don't let "kingdom stuff" and God be pushed to the margins of the day/week because we are just too busy. That's pretty standard General Conference counsel. I think that's one definition most Mormons would recognize.

2) SEEk ye... In other words, "be on the lookout for it." See things in light of the gospel, always in relation to it. Don't compartmentalize: God stuff here, everything else over there, and nothing in between. Perceive nothing outside the Lord's influence or ability to transform. Everything is potentially within His circle of love.

3) SEEK ye... as in, move towards. When you play Hide and Seek, you count, then you shout "Ready or not, here I come!" and you GO somewhere and you LOOK. It's an active process. The wise men "came seeking Jesus" but they had to travel some distance to do that. What's the distance I need to travel? With what cargo?

On Sunday we got our invitations for Thursday's Relief Society activity, the reason we got this 14-day scripture walk in the first place. The evening's theme is "Wise Women Seek Him Still," so I'm hoping there will be more about this idea and between now and then I'm going to be kicking my thoughts around a little more. I will be thinking about what it looks like - in my actual day, on my actual calendar, in my actual allocation of time/thought/resources, to put God first and to seek Christ.

What are you doing with your ward, your YW, or your family this month? I'd love to hear about your planned activities or lessons.

For Wednesday, Dec 13th: What is the pure love of Christ? Read Moroni 7:40-48. Ponder: Have I felt these past 13 days a greater love for my Savior? Have I felt His love? Can I commit myself to live each day as Christ would live?

walk with Christ, Day 11: gifts and fruits of the Spirit

Having the Holy Ghost almost feels like cheating sometimes, it's so helpful in so many ways. It's like an unfair sports enhancement or something. You get nudges, guidance, inspiration, feelings, peace, confirmation of testimony, comfort, ideas, revelation, assistance remembering things you learned... it's like the best-kept secret of our success.

Although I appreciated going back to one of the three lists of the gifts of the Spirit in Doctrine and Covenants 46 (the other two being in 1 Cor 12 and Moroni 10 - all three are slightly different), I'd actually like to add a scripture to this day's grouping, it's in Galatians 5:22-23 and it enumerates the FRUIT of the Spirit.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance."

I remember once when our kids were much smaller we had a really memorable series of FHEs where we used this scripture over several weeks, focusing in on the different fruits. We "tagged" each of these words by connecting it with a real fruit that seemed to represent it. I think we even bought the real fruit that was represented by each word and tried to eat more of it.

If you had to connect those words to a fruit, what would you choose to symbolize each one?
A fun exercise.

I'm off to eat some faith. Over and out.

For Tuesday, Dec 12th: Do I love Christ? Read: John 13:34-35, John 14:15, 3 Nephi 13:20-21 and 24 and 33. Ponder: Do I love as Christ loves? Do I keep all of the commandments? Have I put another God before Christ?

(Painting by wizan, here).

walk with Christ, Day 10: kingdom service

How do you define the term "kingdom"? Is it just your ward? Is it the whole Church? Is it the whole planet? I'm just curious about what you think about that. When I read these questions in the midst of my Saturday-night-prep for Sunday I was thinking about the service I was about to "render" in my ward on Sunday. Re-reading these questions on Sunday evening, I realize that might have been a narrow definition of "kingdom." Mormons serve in assigned callings - which is the trees - but kingdom is the forest and it's a big place and needs us too.

That's probably why the suggested scriptures includes Doctrine and Covenants 4, the section that every missionary can quote in full (BTW is it still true that they still have you memorize & frequently recite & study this section in the MTC or is that old-school MTC?) - a desire to serve calls us to "the work" and "the work" is going on in lots of places. In our wards, yes - as we work to bring people into the fold, fellowship newcomers and new converts, build and strengthen testimonies, and convert people who were raised in the Church. But not just there. Everywhere.

As I read D&C 4 I think - what's my sickle? What does that mean for me? What does it look like?

Today I was doing Sharing Time in Primary and I played a bit of Handel's Messiah for the senior primary kids, having them read along in Isaiah 9:6. In preparation I read a little about Handel and the way he composed this oratorio, and how performances of it raised money for foundling children and to free men from debtor's prison (both amazingly cool symbols, I'm definitely working that into a talk someday!). Anyway, it's the NEXT verse I want you to look at:

Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

The ZEAL of the Lord of hosts will perform this. How hard does he work for us and to establish his kingdom? What is my zeal and what can my zeal perform? My thoughts for today.

For Monday, Dec 6th: How can the Holy Ghost help me to be more like Christ? Read 3 Ne 27:20, Doctrine and Covenants 11:12, 46:11-26, 121:45-46; Moroni 10:4 and John 14:16-17 and 26. Ponder: What are my gifts of the Spirit? Why is it important to know the truth? Do I really desire the Holy Ghost to be my constant companion?

walk with Christ, Day 8 and 9: roles, paths, and taking stock

What happened to Friday?? It completely got away from me. Sorry about that.

Friday's scriptures and questions were about pride, being honest with others, and doing things for the right reasons. Not to mention the "froward mouth."

Whenever I read Alma 5, I remember a fantastic talk given by our stake president some years ago. He went through that chapter and copied down every single question. There are a lot of them (I forget the number, but it's a surprisingly big number). He invited us to ask ourselves each of the questions, and to look closely at the kind of questions Christ asks us throughout the scriptures. Awesome talk. I've never read that chapter the same way since.

Today's scriptures - a kind of "midterm reflection" moment - Is the Lord My Light? Read Helaman 5:12, 1 Peter 2:21, Doctrine and Covenants 84:43-47. Ponder: in the past 9 days, have I tried to make decisions based on the question, What would Jesus do if He were here? What have I improved on? What is my specific role?

I know for me, as I'm winding down my academic semester and turning to focus more time and energy on what happens at home, I'm going back to Elder Bednar's Oct 2009 talk, "More Diligent and Concerned At Home." That's where my pendulum needs to swing towards at the moment. I think one of the blessings of being in an ongoing relationship with Christ, is that He doesn't lead us all in the same direction. Drawing closer to Him and having our feet on the path back to the Father means that we are all sometimes going different directions and taking different paces, depending on what we individually need to do to come unto Christ. He leads us individually starting from where we are, and if we humble-ask-seek-study and "live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God" as if that were our daily food and water, we learn what we each need to do to improve, and become changed and renewed.

I guess that's the difference between being "led" and being "driven." I once heard (don't have time to track down the reference, alas) that part of the reason that Christ is the shepherd is because unlike cattle ranchers, shepherds don't herd from behind pushing all the cattle the same way, they lead from the front - and therefore, we could all be coming from different directions but heading towards that voice and example. Love that image.

For Sunday, Dec 5th: How does the Lord want me to serve? Read Doctrine and Covenants 4, Moroni 7:5-8. Ponder: Is the Lord first in my life? What am I doing to build the Lord's kingdom? How do I really feel about the services that I give others? Does serving the Lord make me feel happy?

walk with Christ, Day 7: let us oft speak kind words

How's the first week been of your walk with Christ? I've really appreciated having some quiet time each day to think, read and reflect - since, I'll be honest, I don't usually make the time to do that in my usual schedule. Two weeks makes a habit, right? I hope so.

When I was a kid, we had a big hardbound volume of the Grimm's Fairy Tales. The gory originals (mind you), not the namby-pamby Disney versions. One of the ones I remember my dad commenting on a lot was one with three sisters and the two mean sisters (because there's always two mean sisters and one good one) who are cursed so that every time they open their mouth to speak, frogs and toads come falling out. Ew. The good one is blessed so that when she speaks, coins and jewels come falling out. That always comes to mind when I think about making sure that what "issues forth" is edifying and beautiful and truthful.

I don't think Doctrine and Covenants 88:121 really counsels us not to laugh; I hope that just means not to mock sacred things. Right? Because humor is a big part of my life, and a big part of Mormondom. I couldn't get through a day without a good laugh.

The scripture in 3 Ne, which echoes the Sermon on the Mount, seems to me to be about making one's communication become more open and transparent. It's often the case that talking about something, openly and honestly, clears the air. We don't need elaborate ritualistic, formulaic promises and contractual language - just giving your word, or your verbal agreement of "I'll do it" or "here's what I think about that..."

My students and I had a good discussion on Wednesday about these unfolding WikiLeaks cables that got leaked over the weekend. What bothered some of them was the apparent hypocrisy of diplomatic correspondence - that people said one thing in meetings or to the press, but something different behind the scenes when they thought their words would never become public. I have to say, that neither surprised me nor bothered me - but I did think it was interesting that some of them felt strongly that people representing the US around the world should be as diplomatic in their private writings as they were in their public statements - that public integrity was still valued in their mind. Now that we've got "toads and frogs" all over the internet (along with some jewels and coins, too, probably), it's a good reminder to guard what we say (and write) in conversations of all kinds (including "speech" we think will be anonymous, like in online settings).

For Friday, Dec 3rd: How do I guard against pride? Read Proverbs 6:16-17, Proverbs 8:13, Alma 5:14-28, Doctrine and Covenants 38:39. Am I truly honest with others? Do I guard against pride? Do I do the right things for the right reasons?

(Photo from here)

walk with Christ, Day 6: thinking out loud

I don't have a lot to comment about these scriptures; 1) God knows our thoughts and the intents of our heart, 2) our thoughts should turn towards him continually; 3) that scripture at the end of Doctrine and Covenants 121 with its beautiful promises about being confident to stand before God and to have the "doctrine of the priesthood distill upon thy soul" like dew. I'm not entirely sure what that means but I've always liked the way it sounded.

What did catch me was the last question: what do I think about when I have nothing to think about?

Since I typed that last night, I've been paying attention to what does go through my mind. It's a hodgepodge, of course - stuff that occurs to me that I have to write down on my calendar or my to-do list, memories, ideas, things I'm just about to say, reasons why I wish I hadn't just said what I just said, impressions, annoyances, things that make me smile inside, snatches of songs, bits of novels and scripture and poems in phrases and pieces, impulses, images and mental pictures.

Some of that I do control and call up on purpose, while some of it sort of makes an appearance without really being "summoned" and then I can decide how long it can stay or whether I show it the door right away. Sometimes, like a persistent cat, you have to put the thought out several times before it will stay out.

My husband and I were trying to explain that cool stream-of-consciousness art film, Koyaanisqatsi, to our daughter the other day.

"It's like a soundscape, but with pictures, no words."

"It's like a landscape, but moving, and with sound."

What's been in my "thoughtscape" today? Vistas, stuff in the foreground, a persistent film playing on a wall, sound bytes, ideas popping up like gophers. I guess I seldom pay attention to how busy it is in there.

Last fall, in the General Conference talk by Vicki Matsumori, she talked about the need for times in the day to be still and know that God is God (Ps 46:10). She writes,

"If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance and comfort to us."

External environments can foster the Spirit, but so can the internal spaces of the mind - and we can declutter those just like we can declutter our real closets and countertops and garages. Which is a lovely thought.

For Thurs, Dec 2: How do I guard my speech? Read Doctrine and Covenants 88:121, 3 Nephi 12:33-37, and Matthew 5:11. Do I speak only kind, uplifting words?

Online Personal Progress?

At the new.lds.org site for YW, there is an option to record Personal Progress online. The girls can submit value experiences for approval, keep an online journal, add photos, etc. And leaders and parents can track progress and even sign things off!

Have any of you looked into this? Is anyone using this yet? What do you think? Here is the link:

https://beta.lds.org/young-women/personal-progress/getting-started?lang=eng