Lesson 1-21 "A Righteous Example Influences Others"

There isn't a lot to this lesson, but what is here is really good. It's just that there's only two stories and some scriptures. With my Laurels, I never know if I'm going to get a group of eight girls with lots of stories to share, or two girls who get sick of answering every question, so I better have some backup for this one.

I'm sure that our girls could provide some fantastic examples from their own life "in the trenches" so to speak, so if you can find that magic way to draw them out, I think this topic would lead to some great discussion.

If there was one point I'd really like to hammer in to these girls, it's that an example doesn't count as good unless it's sincere. We don't teach them to merely Act good, but to Be good. We can all see through someone whose words don't match their actions, but teenagers and young adults, deeply enmeshed in their own quest for self discovery, seem especially affronted by that falseness. On all the cheesy reality shows I watch (America's Next Top Model, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, all the VH1 ...of Love shows [yes, it's a sickness and I deeply need a life]) the worst insult contestants can hurl at one another is being fake. Setting an example shouldn't be the foremost reason we choose one action over another, but it can certainly help give us the push we need to overcome temptation.

I'm going to link again to Sister Tanner's talk given after the addition of "Strengthen home and family..." to the YW theme, because in that she gives some absolutely fantastic anecdotes about how young women strengthened their family, usually through the examples they set to their siblings, that are thoroughly modern, relatable to this group, and show how you can set an example without a trace of self-righteousness - by having it come from genuine concern.

Sister Tanner's talk and the first story from the lesson show that setting an example is not accomplished by standing unattainably on a pedestal and looking down at everyone below struggling along through life. Setting a true example of Christ, living as a disciple of Christ, requires getting our hands dirty. It's not passive, it's not solitary, it requires service, it requires speaking up, it requires strict honesty. Some of the most profound examples I've been witness to in my own life were men and women who were brave enough to share the challenges they were facing in life, who were honest about their failings and their motivations, and still did good in the world.

The first one that comes to mind is a gay friend who calls himself a Mormon Monk. I don't know that his story would be the first someone would look to on this topic, but the truth of his life makes it so much more powerful to me. Forsaking companionship in this life, struggling against temptations more powerful and intrinsic than I could ever comprehend, he put all that he is on the alter of sacrifice because he knows the gospel is true. To me, knowing what he's facing makes his actions heroic and I think that the same is true for each of us. The person who always appears well dressed and happy with spotless children on time for every ward function is easy to write off as a freak of nature. But if we let each other in, if we brave the judgments to share ourselves honestly with the world, copping to our mistakes and failings but showing that above all else we are continually striving for better - well suddenly that's a whole different story. Suddenly instead of a freak of nature, that's just a woman trying the best she can. And maybe I can do that too.