...figuratively speaking, that is. What do I bring in to my meetings with the young women, and what do I leave home? It's a bit of a dance to teach YW, isn't it? Trying to listen to the music, and approximate the steps without stepping on anyone's toes, all at the same time. Deciding how to put myself into the lesson, but not have it be all about me. Negotiating what the girls want and need to hear from me, with what their parents want them to learn (sometimes those are just slightly off-register from one another). How to teach from the materials we're given, while still being authentic, real, and relevant. All that. So what's "in my bag," and what's not?
I bring:
my testimony - just where it is, what it is. I don't pretend it's complete. I want to let them know by example that it's okay to have doubts, and to keep coming and participating even with those doubts instead of using them as an excuse to distance themselves from the church and Heavenly Father. Doubts mean you're thinking about your faith. Engaged faith is good faith.
my scriptures, well marked - again, even if I'm not perfect in my own scripture study, I want them to know that there are answers there and to help them develop a relationship with those words.
my love and unconditional acceptance - this has got to be the secret to success in any calling: to love the people you serve, and to love the people you serve with. This doesn't come naturally, always, but we can pray for it, expect it, and proceed as if we have it. And ... I'm not their mom. I'm not in a position to sit in judgment on them, discipline them, or scold them.
I don't bring:
my political affiliation. 'nuff said.
confessions of my present or past sins (or those of my kids, who are their peers).
higher biblical criticism. Not the place.
my angst about how to teach the lesson - more than they need to know. One of my major pet peeves is when someone starts a lesson or a talk with a lot of apologies, or a long narrative about how they got asked to speak. We don't need the backstory to the preparation. Just get your head in a good place about what you're going to teach before you cross the threshold, and then teach it without apologizing for it. Anyway, by the time we're done with all the preliminaries and split into classes, there's not a lot of time for extra stuff.
my demons from my own YW experience - I have them. Maybe you too. If you are still reeling from some faith-demoting experiences during your own YW years, be careful not to bring this into the classroom. I think it's great to try to be the YW leader you never had, but it's not okay to punish the girls in your ward for your past trauma.
How about you? What's in your church bag? What's not?
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
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5 comments:
I was excited to come across your site. As a newly called YW Laurel advisor, I'll definitely be referring back to your ideas (so thank you in advance for all of your help!!).
thanks sarah, come back often and I look forward to your insights!
What's in my bag? A sincere positive attitude about the whole program, from the Stake pioneer trek all the way to this week's combined activity. A negative attitude is surprisingly contagious. I've struggled with this a bit because when I first was called to YW I tried to be cool and liked by the girls. So if they thought something was lame, so did I. Big mistake! Was I having a major junior high flashback?!
scoreby, you're so right about the attitude. It's hard to plan activities, so for leaders not involved in the planning but not thrilled with the execution of it, it's best to just support the activity while it's going on and be a team player. If there was something seriously flawed in the message or the way it went down, then there can be behind-the-scenes conversations among the leaders later. Just like it's not a great idea for parents to fight in front of the kids, leaders should show a united and loving front and sustain each others' efforts. And if something needs to change, approach each other with love & respect instead of murmuring from the sidelines.
So, scoresby, what changed your mind?
I think I finally realized it wasn't working. The girls didn't like me anymore. In fact, I think they lost a little respect for me. I think girls, no matter what comes out of their mouths or the expression on their faces, expect leaders to be leaders--that includes being positive about the program.
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