Getting organized

I held my first Presidency meeting on Thursday, and I feel a million times better. There is nothing like having an enthusiastic team of people supporting you to make the work load not so scary.

Because I had eight weeks to obsess over everything, I went into our first meeting a little overprepared. Our YW's board hasn't had binders or a ton of strict organization as long as I've been in this ward - through two presidencies, and because I am a planner that always stressed me out. So I set about making binders from scratch as my first order of business. Either everyone on my board is a great liar, or they really appreciated having a whole lot of information up front.

Here's what I included.
- A 12 month calendar that included all ward and stake events as well as upcoming responsibilities and school holidays.

- A thorough agenda for our first meeting that included goals to work on as a presidency as well as goals to help our girls achieve

- A list of all current class presidencies

- Bullet points (taken from this post) of things I'd like them to consider as they prepare lessons

- A list of every YW, their address and phone number,(soon to include emails and cells), as well as the info for each leader, the bishopric, and the incoming beehives

- A lesson schedule outlining which lesson will be taught each week and which member of the presidency will teach each fast Sunday (that's our ward's tradition - it allows us to address topics specific to our group). Since I had extra weeks, I combined a few skimpy lessons and excluded a few others.

- A list of responsibilities throughout the year, who's in charge of the combined activity and so on.

- Worksheets for calendaring future activities.

I just can't stand that feeling you get when you walk into a new position and know you have a million things to do but don't have the information you need to do it. So I wanted to make sure no one could accuse me of doing that to them.

What information have you found really helpful? How else could a president set you up for success? Does it look like I'm a total micromanager? (Don't answer that last one, we all know the answer.)

BN Advice - Stealing

Q:

Tonight I was at our activity where the girls were doing yoga. After the activity, one of the girls noticed that her ipod was missing. Circumstantial evidence strongly suggested it was one of two girls (they were the only ones not in the room looking for the lost ipod, one of the girls had placed her coat right next to the ipod before it went missing, they had left the room immediately after the activity, after I went after them and told them that nobody was leaving until the ipod was found they just happened to come across the missing ipod in one of the restrooms - a restroom that the ipod owner had never entered). Long story short, I'm quite certain that it was taken by one of the two girls and that it was only returned because they were busted.

A complicating factor is that the two girls suspected of stealing the ipod are already the fringe members of the group. Economically, racially, socially, etc, these two girls do not fit in with the other girls. Neither of them come to church on Sunday with any regularity (though they come very regularly to Wednesday night activities), and they're both currently called to the class presidency.

At the activity tonight, the other leaders and I just sort of dropped the issue. The ipod owner was a little hysterical at this point and everyone was just happy that it was found. But now we're wondering what should be done about it?

We assume that it was quite obvious to everyone - including the other YW, that one of the two girls had taken it. Should the two girls suspected of stealing be confronted? Should I say something to the whole YW group? What should I say? Should I tell the girls parents? Should I tell a bishopric member? Should I say something to the entire YW group?

A:

My first reaction would be to turf this on to the bishop. I think it could be helpful for someone to be the bad guy, but if these girls are already isolated, I think this coming from a YW leader may be too much for them to get past. I've seen this happen loads of times in the past, and it often works out that when the girls know they did wrong and are embarrassed about it, they'll blame whoever corrected them with having a problem or just being mean and use it as an excuse to stay away. If the bishop plays bad cop, they get their lesson and some consequences, and then the YW leader can play good cop and show them an increase of love. I've seen it work where incidents like this can bond troubled girls to the leader and create a way in.

But I would also point out that while the circumstantial evidence is compelling, it is still circumstantial. There is a chance, while it doesn't look very likely, that someone else took the ipod and stashed it in the bathroom when they were afraid of getting busted and these girls found it there. I know, yeah right, but what if? Is the interest of justice worth taking a chance on crushing a tender spirit? What if they were telling the truth and their YW leader didn't believe them? Especially when they're already isolated. I think it could be the excuse to never come back. I don't know that it's worth it, particularly when the ipod was recovered.

I also think that too much public or group discussion of the event could be publicly embarrassing for these girls and create further division. Especially since everyone seems to know what happened and who were the likely perpetrators. Maybe the bishop could come in to share some thoughts on unity or honesty, or maybe you could wait a few weeks and then have a lesson on integrity.

Open Thread on New Beginnings 2010

By now, I'm sure most of you are planning, or have just had, your ward's New Beginnings night (ours is coming up this Wednesday night). Tell us a little about it.

Did you do things differently this year because of changes to the Personal Progress program materials?

Was it on a Sunday, a Mutual night, or a different night?

Where was it held? (cultural hall, chapel, some other room or offsite)

What was the evening's theme, schedule, or highlight?

How much did you spend on it?

Share with us what worked well, what didn't, what you'd file away to remember for next year. Go.

Friday Flashback - Homemaking Arts

The next installment in our series of the 1977 Personal Progress areas of focus is Homemaking Arts. The scripture for it is Proverbs 24:3-4 "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

"An ideal Latter-day Saint young woman makes any home a better place because she is there. As a loving sister and daughter, she does all that she can to make her home beautiful and to fill it with harmony and love. She is thoughtful and courteous to those who live and visit in the home. She learns to use the homemaking arts to make life more pleasant for those with whom she lives and to prepare for the time when she will create her own home."

[Jeans here: I notice it's carefully worded, it doesn't say these skills prepare her to become a wife and mother, or that domesticity is a divine role. Interesting.]

Categories of possible goals:

Improving Relationships with your Family: creating a spiritual atmosphere, volunteering more at home, being pleasant, singling out family members for special consideration.

Caring for Children: make a babysitting kit [I did this one!], learn child first aid, plan a children's storytelling time, teach a skill to a younger sibling or another child.

Developing Home Management Skills: start a clipping file on child care, home maintenance, clothing selection & care, interior decoration, nutrition, food preparation, time & money management, learn basic home repairs (eg faucet, fuse, electrical plug, clogged sink, hang a picture), volunteer to do the family mending, laundry or ironing for a month, develop a personal budget.

Learning How to Sew, Select and Care for Clothing: learn to knit, embroider, sew, crochet, or applique; remodel an old dress or coat to make it wearable again, make a quilt or other patchwork item from "fabric remnants," learn clothing repair techniques, participate with your class in learning "the use of color, style and fabric in clothing and use this information in planning a wardrobe" [Color Me Beautiful, anyone? --I'm an autumn], have a class evening of modeling clothing each girl has made, learning how to read & understand clothing labels when you shop.

Increasing Home Decorating Skills: learn about home decorating, reupholster or refinish a piece of furniture, cover storage boxes with contact paper, make a room more attractive, visit restored homes to learn about past styles.

Developing Good Eating Habits and Proper Diet: use the Word of Wisdom as a food planning guide, plan a family meal once a week, develop a personal well balanced diet and follow it, start a recipe file, learn to make bread and take some to a neighbor, can or preserve foods "under the direction of your mother or a specialist," get involved in your family's food storage program, have a food-related event like a cake decorating party, an international food fair, a breakfast party or heritage cooking night. Have a "creative cookery night" by preparing food from ingredients placed in a box or sack.

Lesson 2-6 "Sharing Work in the Home"

This lesson is kinda skimpy, there's just not a lot to it. "Teenagers should help with family chores. And they should have a good attitude about it." Um, yeah, and that's it. Thanks for coming. See you next week.

Seriously, how am I going to eke an entire lesson out of this? Maudlin stories about young people who at first grumbled and then became grateful and joyful that they had to be woken to do dishes, cut and stack wood or watch mother sew shoes to send them to college, or pitch in to rebuild a decaying shed. Bearing testimony of personal growth and self-discipline that comes from housework. Testimonial or a guest appearance by someone who has recently left home and now appreciates just how much they should have learned while there. (By the way, I'm just curious, what's the rationale for having to get priesthood approval to ask someone to come in to talk for 5 minutes on "the rewards and benefits of learning to work in the home"...??) I suppose I'll run a thrilling 15-minute discussion about the kind of chore charts in their homes and how families divide the work, unless I get a better idea.

I started wondering if my sons had ever been taught a similar lesson from the AP manual, or whether it was only the girls who had a lesson in church about the emotional growth, joy and family bonding that they are supposed to feel while cleaning toilets. So I asked them. They looked confused; "that's only for girls, Mom." (They just say that sort of thing to get a rise out of me, which usually works). Let's see if it's just that their memory is faulty ... AP Manual 3, No lesson. AP Manual 1: No lesson, unless it's implied in the lessons about family unity and honoring your mother. Manual 2: well, there's "The Blessings of Work," with the same story about President Kimball polishing harness tack, but most of that lesson is about a boy earning money for doing overkill yardwork for a Countess in Utah (?!!?) - so that's not really about the joys of unremunerated household labor at all. Came up empty on that one.

A quick glance around the web suggests that many people feel it's hard/impossible to motivate teens to do chores, but (say advice professionals) good parents need to do it anyway because it builds character and self-discipline, and because it's practically criminal to unleash on the world a young adult who's never had to pick up a sock and doesn't have a clue how to cook spaghetti. For example: Dr. Ruth Peters' book Laying Down the Law, or EmpoweringParents advice on how to do it right from the parenting end, or an emphasis on clarity and work-sharing from ParentingTeensOnline. Dr Heller argues that part of the problem is that children and adolescents have lost their value in society (i.e. it's less common for them to earn part of the family wage or to provide essential labor on the family farm, like they did in ye olden times). So we're all not alone in believing that work, although no longer economically necessary, is still an important part of growing up - even if so-called labor-saving devices have altered the kinds of work we expect to do in affluent modern homes.

I'm rather conflicted about this topic, actually. I can attest, there are few things as inherently messy as a kid, and my tweens/teens surely leave a tornado swath of mess and destruction as they move through kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and garage. I'm not naturally neat myself (I am what Flylady would call BO, "Born Organized," but that's NOT the same thing as being instinctively neat or tidy) so it doesn't come naturally to me to clean up after myself much less after everyone else or to show them how to keep a sparkling clean home. I'm sure my kids haven't had the best model for taking joy and personal growth from housework. I have to say, I feel it's a parenting balance between making them do housework and chores just for the sake of them learning how to do them, and letting them off the hook a little because their schedules are so demanding between homework, sports, Scouts, Church obligations, music lessons, and everything else we demand that they juggle effectively. I can see both sides of it. I read that story of the dad waking the girl at 11 to do the dishes she was supposed to do, and I thought, okay, I get that it's important to hold kids to their obligations, but honestly, some nights, before early morning Seminary? I'd rather load the dishwasher myself and let the poor kid sleep, or finish homework, or get that music practice in. To me, that's a perfectly acceptable form of "sharing work in the home."

Where have I been lately?

Finally! Finally I can confess why Jeans has been doing all the work around here lately all on her lonesome.

8 weeks ago, (you heard me, 8!) I got called as the new YW president for our ward. Then there was Christmas, New Years, prolonged sickness, Stake Conference, and finally, a whole new bishopric. And then yesterday they finally got around to sustaining me. I think this has to be some kind of a record.

When I first got the call, Jeans and I discussed what this would mean for the site, how we wanted to divide up the work, new features we could develop, and expected to put it all into play as soon as that sustaining vote happened. Which it didn't. And still didn't. And didn't again. But Jeans has pressed on valiantly in my absence.

Now that I can FINALLY move forward, Jeans will be handling the lesson helps, and I'll start writing about other issues affecting leadership. We're both really excited about this new direction and I think it will really bring a lot to the site, but we need your help.

Some of the issues I'll be dealing with I can't blog about publicly. I can't break confidences, and I know none of you would either. So we decided a great new feature would be an anonymous advice column. This way we can discuss some of the hard things we have to deal with without embarrassing the girls we serve, and we can get great feedback from all the YW leaders out there. We've got a great little community out here, I'm really excited to have this way to draw on it. Now the power of the think tank can be used for even more than tackling lessons.

So first, I hope you'll submit the challenges you're facing in your organizations. Email beginnings new advice [at] gmail [dot] com (removing spaces and adding the proper symbols) with an explanation of your dilemma, and I'll share my thoughts and then open it up for comments.

So second, I hope you'll contribute in those comments to share what's worked for you and how you've tackled some of these things.

I'd also love to hear what other information would be helpful. I have loads of ideas, but there are tons of other things that I could stand to learn from all of you. If you have any questions you'd like addressed or have anything you'd like to share, email me at tresa [at] reesedixon [dot] com.

Friday Flashback - Service and Compassion

Service and Compassion, 1977 Personal Progress book

An ideal Latter-day Saint young woman is prepared and willing to serve the Lord however she is needed. She is blessed with special gifts of tenderness and concern for others and touches their lives through her service. Because she knows that to love is to serve and to serve is to love, compassion and service have become a part of her every day life.

Categories of possible goals:

Serving the family - spend time with a sibling, perform service or help for a family member, tutor or read aloud to a sibling, have a yard clean-up, plan & conduct an activity or program that honors parents or grandparents, help organize a family reunion.

Serving the Church - express appreciation to leaders, be involved in efforts to reactivate class members or ward fellowshipping/missionary work, work on genealogy and arrange for your class to do temple baptisms, "work willingly on your ward or stake welfare project," volunteer service by babysitting, running errands, cleaning, or cooking for people with special needs, and this puzzler: "collect and repair used toys and donate them to the Relief Society." (What would they do with them??)

Serving Individuals - develop a sisterhood with a girl who needs a friend, read to a blind/shut-in person, do secret acts of service within the ward or for a friend, befriend an older person, help an older person write a life history, teach a skill, send a note of congratulations to someone who achieves, "make aprons, toys, nightgowns* and other simple articles for a needy family," care for a sick person in your home.

Serving Community and Country - learn about the founders of your community, participate in political campaigns, launch a civic clean-up campaign, perform charitable service in the community, enroll in a lifesaving/first aid/nursing course, raise funds or materials for worthy community projects, support community dance/theater/music/arts.

*Because we weren't the only ward that considered sewing one's own intimates an essential home skill...

Lesson 2-5 "Home Environment"

Love the preparation suggestion #3 for this lesson - be sure, ladies, to "Make your classroom as attractive as possible for this lesson. Cover the table with a cloth and place a centerpiece on it." Giggle.

I think maybe I'll shoot for realism instead. I'll dump a basket of unsorted socks on the floor, scatter some cracker crumbs and potato chip wrappers, and place a pile of backpacks, shoes, coats, and homework folders right in front of the door to make it feel more like my home. Just kidding. Maybe.

For this lesson - "Each young woman will strive to create a home environment where the Spirit of the Lord can dwell" - a pretty straightforward goal, wouldn't you agree?

Yet there are so many ways to get there with a lesson like this!

You could go all practical - home organization, "House of Order" and similar scriptures, homemaking skills - because the Spirit recoils from messy houses (or something like that). Last year's Homemaking lesson might be a good place to begin if you feel you need to go that way. Just be aware that the next lesson has a VERY similar theme - #6 "Sharing Work in the Home" and right after that there is a four-lesson unit coming up called "Contributing to Family Life."

You could stay on the spiritual plane - perhaps using President Tanner's and Sister Cook's talks on how YW can nurture and spiritually strengthen their homes right now, and/or bringing in some of the material from Elder Bednar's Oct 09 talk on being more diligent and concerned at home - especially if you have a lot of girls who are from part-member families or who are the only member in their families. There's a lot they can do to be witnesses of God and strengths within their families. Just also be aware that #9 is a lot the same, "A Young Woman as a Peacemaker in Her Home."

You can blend the two - that there are spiritual dimensions to even the most mundane tasks of homemaking, and that spiritually nurturing homes have recognizable physical characteristics, the temple being the best model for this. Elder Stevenson's talk from May 09, "Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples" might be a good resource.

I think the end of this lesson would be a good time for a short brainstorm session about what life/home skills your girls are interested in learning, and calendaring some upcoming class activity to teach or learn those skills. You might be surprised what they don't know or what they are dying to learn how to do.

You also might be surprised that one person who can teach that skill is one of the girls themselves. A couple of weeks ago, sadly, we had a funeral in our ward for a young man in his mid-20s who died in a motorcycle accident. Our current bishop had been one of his quorum leaders when he was Priest-age and even back then this young man was really into cars, engines, motorcycles and was always fixing something up. One time when they were planning activities, the class wanted to learn about car maintenance. Well, the leader brushed this idea aside at first - since it wasn't something he knew anything about, he's not into getting under the hood of his car - but this young man spoke up: "Hey, I think that would be good. And I'll teach it." And he did. And it brought the quorum closer together and it gave this young man a chance to shine at the things he was good at and the other guys at the activity paid way more attention because it was someone their age teaching it. I've been thinking a lot about that story since then. I'm betting there are experts among our youth right under our noses, and kids who may need a chance to shine.

Youth Helping Haiti

This week, our ward scrapped its previously planned Mutual activity, and instead assembled over 130 hygiene kits to send to LDS Humanitarian Services to help replenish their supplies. The youth watched a short video about the Church's Humanitarian program, and then stuffed kits. We had hoped to make about 100, and one of the leaders bought most of the items in bulk ahead of time (using ward funds - she said it came out to about $4 per kit) & had the youth bring new tubes of toothpaste. Between what was bought and what people brought to donate, we were able to do several dozen more. From here, they will be dropped off at our local bishop's storehouse which will ship them for free back to Salt Lake, to go out now or later, as needed. We had also heard there was a need for full-sized tied quilts, so we had 2 of these ready to tie, but the kits kept everyone occupied enough, so we will do those another time.

I'm just curious... what has your ward done, or is planning to do, to help Haiti? Share the news.

Friday Flashback - Spiritual Awareness

So, the old Personal Progress program was split into six "areas of focus," with the first being Spiritual Awareness.

"An ideal Latter-day Saint young woman becomes spiritually aware as she comes to know the Savior. She knows that the Lord loves her and that she has a part in his eternal plan. Therefore, she seeks his comfort and guidance in her life. She hears his voice in the scriptures and in modern revelation, and she listens to and honors his servants. She recognizes and honors the power and authority of the priesthood. Her daily actions reflect her knowledge and commitments."

Categories of possible goals in this area:

Making a Personal Commitment to Live Righteously (church attendance, knowing & living by Church standards, honesty)

Drawing Closer to your Father in Heaven Through Prayer (prayer, blessings, gratitude, praying for others, "pray silently with those who are praying aloud")

Applying Repentance in Daily Life

Studying the Scriptures and Other Church Literature (take Seminary, read the New Era, study scriptures)

Increasing Testimony (Read Alma 32, bear testimony, attend Mutual)

Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy

Experiencing the Blessing and Power of Fasting

Obeying the Law of Tithes and Offerings

Preparing for the Endowment and Temple Marriage (live by the temple recommend requirements, dress modestly, visit temple grounds, "See Church films and filmstrips about temples and temple marriage," and "Make and use a plan for meeting challenges to be morally clean")

Understanding and Supporting the Priesthood (accept callings and assignments, ask for a father's blessing, appreciate home teachers, receive a patriarchal blessing).

I should add that the way the program worked, you were supposed to complete at least 2 goals in each area of focus for each year of the program, or roughly one goal a month for all 6 years. The idea was steady progress. I think the current program's emphasis on counting hours and doing "bursts" of larger, more intensive projects for each of 8 values is quite different (and, perhaps, doesn't fit more neatly into a calendar year).

Lesson 2-4 "Obeying Commandments Helps Us Fulfill Our Divine Roles"

It's only four weeks into this manual and already... if my New Year's Resolution was to teach out of the manual as written, I'd be breaking my resolution on this lesson for sure.

Why? Three reasons.

1) The 3 quotes provided in the lesson are from 30, 35, and 37 years ago. Thank heavens for the suggested resource talks, which are all from within the last 3 years, a gold mine of good (updated!) discussions of the divine potential of young women, the importance of choosing to be obedient, and why young women should value and plan for marriage and motherhood.

2) The "workshop" and its accompanying "handout" - do we seriously want to send young women home with an explicit list of how to go about breaking God's commandments? This handout violates a fundamental principle of a good handout, which is to place the most important points last because that's what readers are likely to remember most. All the good and uplifting material is first, followed by a depressing and overly specific list of ways to screw up your life. Poor design.

3) Women's divine roles are listed in the lesson as "wife and helpmate, mother, and teacher." This use of the word "helpmate" as one of women's divine roles: No, no, and no. That word is not in the scriptures! It is not doctrinal to use that word to refer to the female partner in a marriage. It's also outdated (a quick search of it in LDS.org finds one single instance of that word being used since 1988, although it was a popular term in the early 1970s).

Let's go to the scriptures:

Genesis 2:18/ Moses 3:18 "It is not good that man should be alone. I will make an help meet for him."

(Note how "help" is a noun and "meet" is an adjective)

Genesis 2:20/Moses 3:20 "but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him."

Abraham 5:14 And the Gods said: Let us make an help meet for the man, for it is not good that the man should be alone, therefore we will form an help meet for him.

Elder Burton put it this way ("A Marriage to Last Through Eternity," Ensign Jun 1987): "The scriptures do not use the word helpmate or helpmeet, but [the adjective] meet, which means of the same worthiness, the same intelligence, the same quality or nobility, worthy to stand beside the man as a fit companion and helper."

In Camille Fronk Olson's beautiful and substantive new book, Women of the Old Testament, she comments on this phrase (p. 9):

"The first word ('exer), translated 'help,' implies not a subordinate but rather someone who has strength to do what another cannot do for himself. Hebrew scholar Donald W. Parry has argued that the woman's unique strength, or 'help,' is as a 'life giver' or 'life force.' This same Hebrew word, 'ezer translated 'help,' appears numerous times in the Bible. The root... frequently appears in reference to God. For example, God is the One who rescues us in our distress (Ps 70:5)... In this way, women are types of Christ.

"The second word, (kenegdo), translated 'meet,' is a compound of three words that collectively occur only in the Eden account. The root word within this compound is the middle word, kgd, which means 'to be conspicuous' or 'to be apparent.'... Eve was an appropriate and worthy partner for Adam. God's description of marital companionship in Genesis 2 indicates no hierarchical dynamic between Adam and Eve."

She then goes on to point out, as have many others, that Eve was created from Adam's side, not his head or his foot.

The main ideas of the lesson, as I read them, are these:

I. Divine laws and commandments are real. They are not just suggestions. They carry eternal consequences whether we know about them or not. Obeying them--especially knowingly, voluntarily obeying them--keeps us on the life path that our Father in Heaven has for us. Real, heart-humble obedience keeps the channels of communication and spiritual blessing open with our Heavenly parents - in essence, it keeps the Lord free and unbound and able to bless us, guide us, and stay with us.

Relevant scriptures (oddly missing from this lesson) -

D&C 120: 20-21
"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."

D&C 82: 8-10
"And again, I say unto you, I give unto you a new commandment, that you may understand my will concerning you; Or, in other words, I give unto you directions how you may act before me, that it may turn to you for your salvation. I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

II. The consequences of disobedience are real and often long-lasting (even with repentance). President Monson's quote about media portrayals of celebrity lifestyle is as spot-on now as it was when he said it in 1980: sinful choices are all too often portrayed as glamorous and happily free of consequences. "Don’t you believe it!," he says, "There is a time of reckoning." Sin sows sorrow, heartache, pain, and puts distance between us and God. The Lord warns repeatedly throughout the scriptures about this, and we should "warn our neighbor" by teaching this plainly to the YW in our stewardship, but (in my opinion) without unnecessarily dwelling on sin by going through all the possibilities. Leave it at what Mosiah said (4:29), "And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them."

III. A true understanding of women's divine roles. I understand the word "divine" here to mean "started before I got here and continuing after I leave." In other words, those roles and relationships that are bound by covenant, which are "bound in heaven" as on earth. Through my baptismal and temple covenants I understand that women's roles include becoming a disciple of Christ, a kingdom builder, a Savior on Mt Zion, a proclaimer of the gospel. I am fulfilling that when I raise my family to the Lord, when I accept and faithfully magnify callings, when I minister as a visiting teacher, when I bear testimony to a nonbeliever. Through my marriage covenant and the covenant under which I was born to faithful parents, I understand that women's roles include being part of an unbroken chain of a human family, sealed for all eternity and with eternal life and exaltation as the horizon goal. Whatever we can do, within our circumstances, to fulfill these roles with faith during our lifetime moves us and our families that much farther along. No one gets all the way there by themselves, we all fall short and are broken and need the Atonement.

Our LDS understanding of Eve (ie the paradigm for all women) means that we believe women are life givers, as opposed to the old (false) Christian understanding of Eve as the bringer of sin, death, and man's fallen nature. Camille Fronk Olson again (p. 7): "If we consider Eve's decision in the Garden of Eden as courageous and faith-driven and the results of that decision to be conducive to God's plan, we are more likely to recognize intelligence, strength, rational thinking, and great ability in women in general."

There are rich and multiple meanings for women's divine role as a "life force." Marriage and motherhood are one path and young women should hope for and plan for that and live worthy of it. Women are life givers by participating in the divine work of creation: for some that is by bearing children (which is not a measure of personal righteousness), and yet that role is available to all in creating goodness and beauty wherever we are, and "bringing to pass much righteousness" (D&C 58:27) - case in point, the previous post, see below.

Something to Help

Like most of us, I imagine, I don't have millions of dollars or medical expertise, so my all I can do for the people of Haiti is to say prayers and give my meager contribution to a good charity. And then sit back holding my breath and hoping these people get help. But I found something. I found something I can do, and hopefully you'll help too, that can make an actual tangible difference to change the lives of five orphaned children and reunite a family.

I've known my friend Lindsay Crapo since college. We were roommates and close friends. She has always been a singularly loving and devoted person, loyal and actively compassionate - not just feeling for others, but motivated to do something to make it better. She and her husband Trevor, a marriage and family therapist, have been married for ten years and have three biological children.

But they also have five children in Haiti.

Lindsay and Trevor have been working with an orphanage in Haiti for the last three years. They travel down several times a year and volunteer wherever they can while they wait for all the red tape to clear before they could take their children home. International adoption is always complicated, but it seems especially complicated in Haiti. Lindsay and Trevor have already been through the courts. These children bear their last name. But they still have to wait until the government allows them to leave, which they hadn't been willing to do for a very long time.

The orphanage where the Crapo's children are living was in Port-Au-Prince the epicenter of last week's earthquake that is being called one of the worst natural disasters in recorded history. Lindsay has been posting facebook status updates whenever she gets word. All her children are safe, much of the staff is safe, but there has been tremendous loss of loved ones, and still more great need. It is expected that the earthquake has created as many as 1,000,000 new orphans.

With this crisis, the government has expedited the immigration of these completed adoptions.These five children, ranging in age from 1 year old to 16, that Lindsay has been waiting for should be cleared to come home at any moment. When this happens, she will at most have only a few days to arrange travel and healthcare. It's more likely that she will only have hours. For the first time in all these years of her efforts, Lindsay is asking for help. She needs to raise thousands of dollars immediately. She has to be prepared at a moments notice to pay for seven plane tickets from Port-Au-Prince to Florida. From there she'll eventually have to travel to her home in Idaho, but she also needs to be prepared to stay in Florida long enough for her children to receive medical care. She doesn't know exactly what condition her children will be in and at the very least they will most likely be dealing with dehydration.

I know we all have to be wary of giving money to anyone who asks, but I can testify that this is a worthy cause. Lindsay is my real life friend, and these children will be so blessed to be in her home. You can read more about her at her blog On the Wings of Miracles.

Lindsay's also been featured in some local news. There are print stories here and here, and you can watch this video.



At her blog is also a donation button. I know times are so hard right now, but please consider donating. Any amount you can give makes a difference to this family. Please give what you can and then give thanks for the health and safety of your loved ones. And then please spread the word.

Friday Flashback - the Personal Progress program, then and now

This week, the new Personal Progress materials become available. I got hold of one of the new books at our Value activity this Wednesday, which was a New Year's party. The girls were delighted with them, their compact heft, the spiral binding, the fresh new pages, the inclusion of the virtue material. I thought I'd give you a sneak preview of the cover in case your books are still in the mail, and compare the introduction to the program from the 1977 Personal Progress book with the one from the 2010 new edition.

The new introduction:

"Welcome to Personal Progress

You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose. You have a noble responsibility to use your strength and influence for good. Your loving Heavenly Father has blessed you with talents and abilities that will help you fulfill your divine mission. As you learn to accept and act upon the Young Women values in your life, you will form personal habits of prayer, scripture study, obedience to the commandments, and service to others. These daily personal habits will strengthen your faith in and testimony of Jesus Christ. They will also allow you to recognize and develop your unique gifts.

Always use your influence to lift and bless your family, other young women, and the young men with whom you associate. Honor womanhood, support the priesthood, and cherish faithful motherhood and fatherhood.

As you participate in Personal Progress, you join with thousands of other young women who are striving to come unto Christ and "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9). Counsel with your parents, and prayerfully choose goals that will help you cultivate feminine attributes, strengthen your testimony, and reach your divine potential. Take advantage of your time in Young Women by preparing to receive the sacred ordinances of the temple, to become a faithful wife and mother, and to strengthen your home and family."

The First Presidency."


In 1977, here's how the book introduced the program to young women:

"Daughter of God

You are a child of God. You have a vital role to fill in God's eternal plan. You have been chosen by the Lord to come to earth at this time to fulfill your special mission and assist the Savior with his work here on earth. Your purpose here is to prove yourself worthy of the eternal blessings that have been promised to the daughters of God.

Your mission may include many things such as touching someone's life through service and making those around you happy. It may include that wonderful blessing reserved for women--to become co-creators with God and provide the way for spirit children to come to earth. For those who do not receive this blessing in life, your mission may include loving, teaching and training the children of others.

Your Father in Heaven knows you. He knows your mission and wants to help you accomplish it. He knows the blessings that have been prepared for you. If you will trust him, follow his word, and prepare yourself, he has promised that "the kingdom is yours, and the blessings thereof are yours." (D&C 78:18)

The greatest blessing he has for you is eternal life, which means to live forever in his presence. To help you receive eternal life is the mission of the Savior. He said, "For behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)

Now is the time to prepare yourself to fulfill your mission and to receive and to help others receive this wonderful blessing.

Your Time to Prepare

These are your preparing years, your learning years, your years of discovery.

This is the time to--
Have new experiences.
Search.
Learn.
Grow.
Establish good habits.
Strive toward perfection.

The time to--
Be tried.
Be tested.
Overcome.

The time to--
Discover yourself and develop your talents.
Build self-esteem and a strong testimony of the gospel
Discover the joy that comes with obedience, sacrifice, and unselfish service.
Enjoy being alive and part of this beautiful world.

This is the time to learn to fulfill your special mission and become worthy to live in the presence of the Lord.

As you prepare and progress you will be in the service of the Lord. The blessings of this life and the life hereafter will be yours, for the Lord has promised that "on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out... my spirit." (Acts 2:18). Others will see in you the growing qualities and virtues expected of a young woman in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--one who is devoted to God and dedicated to his service. These qualities will grow as you pursue a program of personal progress based on the overall goals of the Young Women program. These goals are to--

Become personally converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Fulfill your divine potential as a daughter of God.

Gain an understanding of the priesthood and live worthy of its blessings.

Enjoy in wholesome ways your youthful vitality."

Lesson 2-3 "Building the Kingdom of God"

This lesson is several weeks in the future for me, since we have a January stake conference coming up, so this is more of a series of kind of unconnected thoughts on the topic. It seems to me that this is really two lessons for the price of one, one on the importance of sacrifice (which is what the resource discussion questions all focus on) and the other on the idea of the "kingdom" and building the kingdom.

Regarding the idea of sacrifice (see also Lesson 3-28, "Consecration and Sacrifice"):

Elder Quentin Cook's talk, "Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time" - the idea that being a member of the Church should be hard, that we do hard things as a people and within our families. We work hard, we value labor, we make financial sacrifices/tradeoffs to pay tithes and offerings, we accept callings/assignments which are hard, we prioritize the gospel above all else, giving up things that we highly prize in order to prove our worthiness, devotion, and love of God. The lesson's "stamp collection story" is a telling one, I think - President Kimball's remark that the prospective missionary would be blessed and would learn an important lesson from selling the one thing of value that he owned and prized in order to go on a mission. While decisions we make are rarely so clear-cut as that one, I think the principle of that story suggests us a lot about who we are as a people.

Consider contrasting the scripture in the suggested resources (Matt 19 - the rich young man who knew it was going to take selling all he had, and who just couldn't do it), with the story of the widow giving her two mites (Mark 12:42, Luke 21:2) which represented all she had. Have you, your ward, or your community had to give things up in order to send relief to Haiti this week, for example? Folks I know recently launched a website, inspired by the fast offering program, to encourage people to give up 2 meals a month and send those funds where they would be most needed. Giving away should feel like giving up. It should be going without so that others may have (And two meals is not a lot, I hope we are giving much more if we can).

Sacrifice brings material benefits, by redistributing wealth, but more importantly it also changes the giver's heart--which is what Christ seems to be after--and prepares us to be in God's presence. When my husband took up triathlon competition, he was a crummy swimmer. He learned that just trying harder in the water through brute force was tiring and inefficient. Instead, he had to work on small changes to body position that would reduce drag so he could slip through the water faster. Sacrifice is getting rid of the drag, shaving off the accumulated stuff (or, which is the same thing, the desire to accumulate) - it's putting the camel through the eye of the needle - we can arrive in God's presence without all the encrusted barnacles.

Regarding the idea of "kingdom" -

This is a term that we share with many Christians, but our understanding is somewhat different. For many Christians the "kingdom" was something Christ established, and something to look forward to during the millennium after the Second Coming. It is something to imagine, anticipate, and to prepare for - "thy kingdom come," as the Lord's prayer says (always looking forward into the future); Rev 11:15 "And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever" (text used to great effect in the Hallelujah Chorus of the Messiah).

For us, however, the kingdom HAS come. It is now. We are in it. While we also look forward to the Second Coming, and anticipate that earthly governments will be done away with, we believe that the fulfillment of kingdom promises is not distant, but accomplished.

In fact, this idea that the kingdom is here and now is so basic to our beliefs that it's probably easy to overlook just how significant and unique it is. We are the kingdom builders, it's not left to trained, paid religious professionals. For better or worse, we are it. We are who the Lord's got. The buck stops here.

So what might it mean to build the kingdom? Consider these scriptures:

--Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes (Isaiah 54:2, also 3 Ne 22:2)

--Awake, and arise from the dust, O Jerusalem; yea, and put on thy beautiful garments, O daughter of Zion; and strengthen thy stakes and enlarge thy borders forever, that thou mayest no more be confounded, that the covenants of the Eternal Father which he hath made unto thee, O house of Israel, may be fulfilled.(Moroni 10:31)

--For Zion must increase in beauty, and in holiness; her borders must be enlarged; her stakes must be strengthened; yea, verily I say unto you, Zion must arise and put on her beautiful garments. (D&C 82:14).

I'm reading two things there - both 1) "making it bigger" - enlarging the borders to bring more into the fold (missionary work, embracing the new member, welcoming those on the fringes) and 2) "making it stronger" - increasing in charity, devotion, accepting and magnifying callings, making our wards and stakes the best they can be, helping the poor & needy among us, making ourselves spiritual giants through gospel study and covenant-keeping.

Time for me to break out the Lincoln logs for this lesson, or the Legos, or something - I can envision constructing some kind of building during the lesson as we discuss scriptures or quotes and add to a physical structure.

Other resources you might find helpful -

Elder Hales, "The Covenant of Baptism - to be in the kingdom and of the kingdom" - baptism is the gate into the kingdom, repentance is the way to stay on the strait path, and how as part of the kingdom we become “fellowcitizens with the saints” in the “household of God” (Eph 2:19) walking in a newness of life (Rom 6:4 - I love that scripture).

Elder Porter, "Building the Kingdom" through consecrated service in the Church.

Liahona VT message, Building the Kingdom (May 1993) - through kindness, bearing testimony, and being "of good cheer"

Segullah, "Male'yad," a discussion of the Hebrew word translated as "consecration," through one woman's reflections on a week of almsgiving

I'm reading in the book of Genesis this week - the creation story - and I realized, what did God do with the seventh day? He blessed and sanctified it. Two things - he blessed it, and then set it apart as holy. What do we do with the sacrament bread? We bless and sanctify it. Bless it, and then set it apart as holy and symbolic of the memory of Christ's suffering and redemption. What can we do, with God's help, in our lives? Bless and sanctify. My life is blessed by gospel covenants, and I can sanctify it for a divine mission - I can say, as many do throughout the scriptures - "Here am I, Lord" - send me. Give me a hammer, I'm ready to build.